My best friend...?

Question

Is emo. She doesn't dress the part or listen to the music, but she complains about irrational things.
I love her dearly, but how can I get her to understand that she does have a good life so I don't have to listen to the bitching anymore?
It may sound harsh, but she does complain about an awful lot. The types of things that no one should complain about.
She claims her parents don't care, but they are the nicest people I've ever met and her mother is the typical "bake cookies and make ridiculously over the top meals" sort of mother.
She gets an enormous allowance for doing nothing.
I've known her long enough to know that there aren't any inside issuses that she's not telling me.
She is wealthy, has friends, goes to a good college and has her whole future ahead of her, but all she does is complain about imaginary problems.
After 8 years of this I'm beginning to lose my patience, how can i get her to stop?

Emaryillis and mysterious girl: As I said, I've known her for 8 years. I know all there is to know by now and I'm quite certain that I am more of an authority on it than you are.
Take care to read the entire question before you answer.

Answer 1

If you're her best friend, and want to stay that way, then you will love her no matter what she does, or how badly she behaves! Keep supporting her... who knows, maybe your support really means a lot to her.

Are you absolutely sure there are no other problems? One of my best friends, was diagnosed with depression a year ago, and she was kind of like you friend. I mean, she got quieter, and was more irrational about things, and was sad a lot. People hide these things well, or don't know they have problems, so please, don't jump to conclusions yet.

I'm sure you've done so, but, if you haven't, talk to her. Maybe she has something boiling inside that she hasn't told anyone yet. Or maybe she's just being difficult for attention. Whatever the case, it's best that you talk, and see things from HER point of view. Who knows, maybe you'll learn something. I hope everything works out for her and for the two of you! ^__^

Answer 2

First of all, she's not emo.
If she was, she WOULD dress the part, and she WOULD listen to the music.
Maybe she's just dramatic or ungreatful.
When you have an allowance, are wealthy, have friends, and go to college, then the only reason to complain is because you're being selfish of what you don't have.
My sister had the same problem.
She had a friend that would ramble on about how awful her life was when really she had a great life!
When your friend starts acting like that, just say,"You have a lot to be thankful for, so stop complaining. Plenty of people would love to be in your shoes."
Who cares if she gets mad?
She should know that her life has very few problems, and that the very few that are real, aren't devistating.
She sounds selfish.
There are thousands of little kids out there without food, water, and shelter, and she's got it all.
She should learn not to comaplain so much.
By complaining about everything, she's making herself look like a spoiled brat.(No offense.)
Just tell her that she has nothing to complain about, and she has a great life.

Answer 3

The truth hurst, but is a must sometimes. People get in their own little world, and don't realize how they can come across to others. If it was me, I would start by telling her something like this: we have been friends for a long time, right? so we should be able to be honest about anything right? Then say how you feel. Ask her if there is something that you don't know about, because as far as you can tell her parents are great,,,, etc. Keep in mind to be nice, and make it more of a - please help me understand where you are coming from - type thing. Even so, depending on the person, there might be an argument and harsh words if she gets on the defensive and feels like you are attacking her. You just have to decide if it is worth losing a friend as a possibility. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I think it almost becomes a "habit" with some people. For others, they feel that a pleasant, comfortable life as you have described is too boring, not dramatic enough for them so they beat up all these so called complaints (oh, but of course they have no intention of giving up all the comforts that these DREADFUL parents have provided for them !). I had a friend something like this and their continual whining just put a downer on MY life ! What i tried, in this instance, was to just not react to or even register any of her complaints. Just instantly change the subject, break eye contact or sometimes just walk away, hang up etc. You may lose a friend or just maybe she will get the message and get her "drama" in life more productively ie take up paid acting !

Answer 5

Not to be rude, but your friend sounds like a spoiled brat that wants attention! Just reading about her, I hate people like her. What you have to do is talk to her. I know you are mad at her sometimes, but at times like those, that's when you have to take action. Write her a letter....
-Include what you wrote here
-Tell her she has the NICEST parents
-Tell her how good her life is and that many others have it worse than her
-Finally, tell her how you are becoming drowned because of how much she complains
If she complains more, say "See? This is what I mean? Your life is FINE!" Show some anger, but do NOT go over bored because if she really IS emo, she might get mood swings...Hope this helps, and the best of wishes goes to you!~

Answer 6

The way I see it your friend is depressed and instead of complaining about her you should help her and listen to what she's trying to tell you. You know depression is a disease and it can happen even if you have a good life and you have the perfect family..Sometimes those are the people that are more troubled.

Answer 7

Sound like your the one that need to be a good friend. Tell her how you feel. But dont try to change her. That could ruin your friend ship. Sounds like you have been good friends for a while now so focus more on staying friends and less on complaining.

Answer 8

It sounds like she needs some perspective.

Maybe you could volunteer at a charitable organization, like a soup kitchen, and make her do it with you. Then she would see what real down-and-outs are like.

Or, if she's a good student, you two could offer to tutor inner-city youth.

There are several possibilities. Your college may even have a community outreach program to help you find something suitable.

Answer 9

Whoa girl, she needs to realize that there are more important things to do then to listen to her talk about nothing serious. She probably needs a lot of attention. tell her that she needs to rethink about her conversation topics and be real with her.If It drives you crazy to think your friend is so unappreciative, let her know you both are best buds right? It shouldn't hurt to explain to her how she sounds when it makes you roll your eyes. Be cool and firm.

Answer 10

some people are just not happy unless they have something to gripe about. try to move on to people that are happier. if your friend comes down to earth long enough to see that you are not there as much. maybe she will ask why and then you can tell her that you think she could use some therapy for all the b*tching she does, because you can't tolerate it anymore.
good luck.