What do you do when your 15yr old is out drinking, smoking?

Question

I know a person with a 15yr old daughter, she is usually out at the weekend drinking and smoking and so on, the parents are disparing and feeling desparate about the whole situation. The mother doesn't believe that its happening and the father is furious but neither of them know how to handle their daughter. If you were in this situation, how what you feel and what would you do about it?

Answer 1

Not a whole lot you can do now a days .. and kids know it. You can't discipline them anymore like they used to. You can thank all of the do gooders and people that took it to far for that. I used to do stuff like that and when I got caught my Dad wasn't nice about it. He didn't have to fear about going to jail for handling the situation! My Mom wouldn't hesitate to back hand me if I talked back to her. Sure I didn't get it at first but I got my *** and my mouth smacked enough that I quit doing what I was doing.

I learned that my behavior wouldn't be tolerated. With the way the laws are today, these people have lost absolute control and there is not much they are going to be able to do to curb this brats activities. Mainly because she knows she has them over a barrel, touch me and you'll go to jail Mom or Dad. So she's running the show and it's called chaos. Send her smart *** to a boot camp for starters, see what happens.

Makes me glad I don't have kids, with the way things are today, I don't want one anytime soon. People can't even correct them in public without worrying if someone is going to report them for child abuse! I think it's a little to late for these people, they lost control from the beginning.

I love my parents, yeah there were times they weren't my favorite people, but I learned they did what they did because they love me and seen I was going down the wrong road in life. They didn't want me to ruin my life and I didn't. They didn't have to worry about some know it all brat turning them in for child abuse! Those spankings on my rear and those pops in the mouth early on did me some good.

Answer 2

I'm not one to judge people or to say whether something is right or wrong. But here's my gut feeling: People who habitually use alcohol or drugs can get addicted to them. That's where the trouble starts. Addictions are much harder to cure than to acquire. Often times addictions lead to criminal behavior, and that's when the law steps in, and you being a minor, have broken the law. You are not of legal age to drink, and both you and your friends can get in deep trouble. They would be guilty of contributing to the delinquency of a minor, or depending what the laws are in your area, they could even be considered minors themselves. In some places, the drinking age is 21. Possession of drugs is also considered a crime, just about everywhere, and "weed" is considered a drug. Last, but certainly not least, think what those substances are doing to your physical health. Substance abuse can permanently alter your mind, impair your judgment, play havoc on your vital organs, and of great concern to a young woman -- destroy your looks. So, unless you and your friends get picked up for DUI or Minor in Possession, or God forbid, cause an accident by being under the influence, or even getting killed as a result of being drunk or high, just continue the path you're on. However, I hope you will seriously consider some of the things I've told you. I will keep you in my prayers.

Answer 3

I can not tell her mother exactly what she should do but I do believe, it will take more than just taking her computer away or grounding her for A month. It might make a difference for A short time then she will be right back to what ever she wants to do.Anything I would suggest Some one would say its abuse,and that bothers me. most mothers will not do anything to damaging to there child( embarrassing perhaps)but if that is what it takes,and the child has A better life then its worth the trouble. The only real suggestion I have would be to have her daughter name her own punishment sometimes that can be quite effective
MOTHER KNOWS BEST
GOOD LUCK WITH THIS ONE

Answer 4

First of all, I have two small kids and I 'm always thinking about what is gonna happen when they get teen-agers and I know that that is a parents worst nightmare, and I think that the best thing that they should do is talk to her and if that dose not work pray hard and ask God how to and what to do about what's going on without destroying their family and relationship.

Answer 5

Oh my God I have a 11 yr. old and 8 yr. old both boys and I just know this will be my problem soon and I think the parents need to just try to sit down and try with everything to talk to her or scare the s!#* out of her like calling the cops or Maury for boot camp

Answer 6

That's hard. I'd say counseling, but most kids probably wouldn't want it. Maybe she just wants her parents attention. Her parents should not firbid her from seeing her friends though. She will find a way to see them. Instead of letting her go out, they should make her have her friends over if they wanna hang out. That way, they will be able to supervize what's going on.

Answer 7

dont allow her to go out with those people.
make sure they know who shes with have a set cerfew and make sure that at least one of the parents are awake when she comes home. Dont allow sleep overs till she can be tusted and if drugs are a big thing monthly drug tests. If she is caught under the infulance of anything make sure you take away her computer or cell phone let her know YOU ARE THE BOSS.

Answer 8

be strict, but not too strict. If you set the laws too harshly, she'll make a game out of ignoring you and being rebelious. Be firm and both make some changes.

Answer 9

My oldest is 12... If I caught him at 15 smoking and/or drinking, as punishment I would literally beat his butt! He needs to know that he is never too big for a butt spanking. He also needs to know that until you are of age to buy it, you are not of the age to be doing it.

He would have also broken my trust therefore, I would restrict him to school and home until such trust has been rebuilt. Friends over fine, but with adult supervision so the trust can be rebuilt. He can do the same things he usually does at home. If sneaking out of the house is a concern, I would nail the windows in his room closed or get an inexpensive alarm to let me know a door or window has been opened. If he complained about the restriction, then I would probably make him write an essay as to why he felt this was a good decision, or why he decided to do it even though it is was wrong. There would be no restrictions on his words (other than how many), but he would have to be honest with himself. This would give me the opportunity to understand what he was thinking, so we could later discuss it rationally.

Answer 10

you need to scare her about her future, but don't push it on her....indirectly show her. Give her this book: the 6 most important decisions you'll ever make by sean covey (i'm 15 years old too and i can relate to a lot of the stuff in there). If she's smart, she won't throw it back at you, but she would read it and maybe get her life back on track. it has a bunch of stories written by people that are in similar situations as her. Give it to her as a mentor, a friend....or if there's an adult she trusts give the book to him/her to give it to her. She won't read it if her parents give it to her because I can tell she won't even consider it if they do..
Also, the parents need to be more stern and help her understand values.

Answer 11

move schools and dont let her go out with who ever she is going out with ground her for a couple of months and do family things on weekends so she does not have a reason to go out