How do you keep your sex life alive?

Question

I am a mom of seven kids ranging from 18-17months old. My husband and i are still very much in love and are very romantic with eachother generally, however the past year has been extremely hectic and the flame in our sex life has died a little. We are going way for a weekend together in two weeks time and my husband wants to play out different fantasys.....what fantasys have you played out,how does it work out for you? how do you juggle a healthy sex life with kids work etc.

My husband talks about adult diapers and spanking.....is this weird has anyone else out there tried this?

Answer 1

Fantasy's are as unique as every person. Truly the best you can hope for is that your partner has you involved in their fantasy.

For most men, and I am sure you husband, sex in all aspects will be listed right at the top. As often and as in many ways as you can dream up. Sex toys can be fun but nothing replaces the human hand.

For anyone to give you a fantasy may not at all work for you or your husband. So you must come up with your own. That is one of the greatest gifts you could give him. For you to love for him to do something and tell him so is what most men want. And be willing to try anything in reason that he may find enjoyable. And the more fun you both have the better it is.

Just enjoy each other with no interruptions. That must surely be your greatest fantasy with having 7 children. And you have to know how rare you are to still be madly in love with each other. How good for you.

Answer 2

A great way to have a good experience is to have a time away from each other. The return of the spouse can be so good. Also, you can try sex toys from the adult store. Some stores are more stocked than others, so shop around. There may be websites or books that tell about sexual activities you both can try. Do you send the children away to be with grandma or grandpa? Do that and dedicate the time for you and your husband. I have a young marriage (3 weeks) so I don't know a lot about juggling kids and sex. Have fun!

Answer 3

The wife and I took a weekend trip once while the kids were very young. We needed to get away and try to "spice" things up a bit after the exhaustion of adjusting to another child.

We left the kids at Grandma's, went to a nice dinner and then back to a hotel room. By 7pm we were both snoring in seperate beds.

The key is to have time to relax and not force it. Good sex will come when you're in love. We had a great day the next day but, our romantic night out was much more enjoyable by skipping straight to the great sleep afterwards.

Answer 4

We have 4 kids so can relate to your situation. You must realize that when you first get together, people have sexual relations like the world is going to end tomorrow and then it wanes as your relationship ages. According to national averages, people married longer than a year have sex an average of 4.5 times a month. So don't get depressed or think something is wrong with you because you are not doing it like rabbits anymore. Fantasies can be great and you shouldn't discount any of them until you try them and see if they work for you and him or not. Communication is the key -- talk about what turns you on and what your fantiasies are and then try them out.

Answer 5

Lilly S,
Try not to put so much pressure on yourself just let it happen and you'll be fine. The fact that you are taking care of seven kids and you feel like your sex life has suffered doesn't surprise me. What does surprise me is how you got seven kids, that's a hard trick to pull off. My wife and I used to have a relaxation technique we used to use, first we would go out to a nice dinner and then to a movie all relaxing depending upon the movie and then jump each others bones for the goodies. Good luck and remember no pressure on yourself. The more stress you put on yourself rather than just having fun with it, the less romantic it will be. Happy sex!

Answer 6

First off, thank your lucky stars for a husband that is still interested. I think role playing is fun. A good way to do it is: Get a hat (or something to draw out of), next write down every profession you can think of on little slips of paper, and put them in the hat. Now you and hubby each draw one. Ok so he's a fireman and your a policewoman. Or he's a baker and your a lawyer. Peaks the imagination, doesn't it?

Answer 7

Good luck with that. Seven kids, wow, sounds like your sex life is alive. Your a better woman than I am. Just having some alone time would be good enough for me. Forget the fantasys.

Answer 8

My husband and that i are on diverse schedules also so I comprehend what you assert. I stay at abode with youngsters in the course of the day and he merely needs to relax even as he receives abode. i am going to make him dinner and wake him gently each so often even as he's sound asleep in case you already know what I recommend. He loves this and is going lower back to sleep fairly extremely. He wakes contained in the am with a grin on his face waiting to bypass to artwork. it truly is a great turn on for him. try that.

Answer 9

well that's a little weird ....i think that with the kids around it's hard.. but you both know that ,i found it was just as nice to get away for an evening and a relaxing morning together with breakfast with no kids asking for your attention ..you can do that a lot more ...then planing for holidays

Answer 10

Order the book "For you Both" by Lonnie Barbach, in paperback, yours by Thursday from Amazon.com. She is THE sex therapist in the country today Lots of ideas, hon. ( And I'd have no idea how you could keep your sex life alive with 7 kids... good for you.... hope you have had lots of help caring for them...)