Some people love kids, but are they a major burden ?

Question

I hear it all the time mostly from men of course that they have no "free" time to even breathe cause they have children. I also notice when men are around their wives, they pretend everything is so "wonderful" then when we're out watching football and stuff, they ***** and moan non-stop. This I cannot stand about some guys.
Im not being selfish, but I cannot fathom waking up at 2 a.m. to change diapers, or not be able to watch football on sundays, or miss a nice cruise, or not go fishing. Im not selfish I tell ya, but I just don't think I can handle a child.
So the question is, are they a burden ? I know a lot of women will say "they're a blessing" but I think the men may think otherwise. Thanks

happy easter as well

Answer 1

Would have to confess that it is a no brainer to regard children as a burden. You are correct about the 2 am stuff, the screaming colic that can go on for days, the destruction in your house hold, not to mention the mountains of time and attention children require for years and years and years. You pretty much give up your own interests and your own wishes to expand who you are and what you want, when you have children.....Then they get into school, and the costs sky-rocket, along with not less care but more. Teens are totally ungrateful, and there is no guarantee that the child you bore will even like you as an adult. All this at the cost of $250,000 per kid... money that could be used for more schooling travel, entertainment, culture, lessons in music, art, driving a nicer car, eating better food,having a nicer home, time for the gym, symphony, a personal trainer, yadayadayada.....

By age 8 decided I never wished to be a parent., by age 13 would have opted to have my tubes tied if I could have gotten some doc to do it. Now at age 55, never once sorry I never had children... Got to retire at 48, married to two great guys, the last one tragically killed, but hey, life goes on, and found a great educated smart,artistic, kind, lovely guy whose religion, politics and take on kids the same as mine -- he had none either, and never wanted any. Have been all over the world, learned to read Egyptian hieroglyphics, been to sub-Saharan Africa 6 times, Asia, Italy 4 times, Nepal, Turkey, yadayadayada. Wouldn't have changed a thing.... had a great job, still volunteer my time, and my art sells well, but I don't need it to live.

None of this would have been possible had I had a bunch of kids. Are they a major burden???? absolutely and positively!!!!!, and "if in doubt, don't" If I had been a guy, I'd have been outa there. There is a reason many "dads" stick around for only about 4 years.... That's about the time a child is pretty much on its own, evolutionarily. Same now as 4000 years ago or 40,000 years ago. 50% of all marriages fail..... many are because of arguments over children, and who has to do wha with regard to caring for them.....

Would I change anything?? Why? So I can have someone visit me in "the home?" Hell no. Hopefully I die with a sculpting tool in my hand at age 98....

Helpful?

Answer 2

Children are only a burden if you feel they are. If you find that what you want to do is more important that the work it takes to have a family then "DO NOT MARRY".

No one is ever going to tell you that children do not require work and sacrifice. They do. But like everything in life, if you love your children they are more than worth it.

This is not something that anyone can decide for you...tell you that in spite of all of it you will be fine. Those guys that you hear complaining bought into the belief that if they got married and had kids they could handle it. After all the wife is suppose to handle those things so my time will be okay. Wrong. You are 50% of the team it takes to raise them right.

You are to be commended to look at this and decide up front what is most important to you. You will save yourself...your possible wife....and your potential children a lot of grief by knowing what you want and following that road.

As long as you feel this way, what ever you do, do not get married and/or have children. If you ever get to a point where waking at 2am to change diapers doesn't sound so bad then maybe you can reconsider.

By doing what is right for you...up front....you can never be considered selfish. Only if you take on a responsibility and don't handle it could you ever be considered selfish.

Answer 3

Wouldnt quite say that kids are a burden, but they do take alot of time and attention. They are well worth the time and effort although it may not seem so at the time. They do grow up at an alarming rate and perhaps the happiest day of any parents life is the day they leave the nest. Even when theyre gone theyre still there. And then come along the grandkids and the fun really starts as you can always send them home after a long visit. As a ex pro footballer, I wouldnt trade my 2 adult daughters in for anything in the world, and I thank God I was blessed with them and now 1 grandson who is the center of my life. When he grows up I now have brand new fishing buddy whom I can tell my old fish stories to as well as make new ones with. So as hard as it is to get them to their 18 th birthday, it definitely was well worth the journey.

Answer 4

Everyone's opinion is different but here's our story. Our son was 5 months old before he met his military dad who had been on deployment. The day they met, the baby cried everytime daddy picked him up....as did his dad. Fastward a few months and dad was once again coming home from a short deployment...he was greeted at the door by sticky hands, wobbly legs , a toothless grin and a new word..."DADA" Again, daddy cried. At night, it wasn't mom, but dad that over looked the crib at 3am and by 9 months was begging for another child.

Our sons just turned 8 and 7 and today, they are all sitting on the couch yelling at the Jets and throwing around a orange nerf ball. My sons go everywhere with my husband. The motorcycle shop know's my kids by name and the youngest can tell you where the best fishing is.

I think the fathers that see their children as "burdens" haven't taken the time to become friends with their kids, and that's a shame. Being a parent is a huge responsibility but it also opens the doors for so much more enjoyment in life. Just imagine seeing your son punt that 50 yard goal or walking your daughter down the isle.

Answer 5

well I used to think the same as you. I never wanted to have kids. Anyway, I had a little girl, not planned but welcomed. I have never been so happy. She is the best thing in the world and I don't deserve her. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to have kids, some people shouldn't have kids, but to answer your question, no they are not a burden. Some people are just more equipped emotionally to handle children, some aren't and I think if you know that you don't want to make the necessary sacrifices to have a child then don't do it.

Answer 6

Just like women get together to air out their complaints men do the same under the guise of hanging with the fellas and watching a game. Kids are difficult to raise. they give you flash backs to when you grew up how you want to do things similarly or differently. they look @ you with your face and smile a smile that makes life ok. They also do things that will make you wonder if having them was the right thing to do. so yes they are equally a major burden as well as very very great to keep one grounded to just how insignificant we as humans really are. I think you are being realistic if you are not ready you need to respect that. and wear a condom. but if someone is already pregnant with your child, you need to buck up and get ready real fast. It is great that you are keeping it real with yourself. Many men and women chose not to do the parenting thing for the same reasons you gave. Not all women are automatic nurturers (sp) because our bodies are built to create baby food.....it can be overwhelming and hard. Hang out with nieces and nephews, become a big brother for a kid that has no one or no significant male in their lives. you can be a great father figure without becoming a father. Happy Easter to you too!!

Answer 7

Truthfully they are both. They are expensive, noisy, time consuming and messy. Teenagers are a special kind of hell. But they keep you young, introduce you to the wonders of the word around them and make you feel you can conquer the world if necessary to keep them safe. Best of all when you become a grandparent you get your revenge and see them go through the same things. I may not be rich in money but no amount of money could replace one of my children. There is only one reason to have a child and that is because you really want one. There is no problem with not having children but make sure you take the responsibility. There are too many accidents for men who think it is the girls responsibility.

Answer 8

Kids are a blessing and a burden for men and women. Do not have them if you prefer not to sacrifice fully of yourself. Children do not ask to be brought into this world, we bring them here. That being said then we should not think twice about our personal sacrifices for the good of our babies. But you still should try to have some down time, your kids will be happier if you are happier and not grumpy from no personal time.


Happy Easter???? Did I miss a few months somehow????

Answer 9

Well I'm a woman and I say children are both a blessing and a burden. Parents, dads and moms, give up 18 to 20 plus years to total servitude to their children. When the children are 50 and grandparents, the parents still worry about them. So, in short, kids are a lifelong comittment, which makes them a burden at times...Happy Easter????

Answer 10

yes, kids are a burden, although some people want that burden. If you dont want to have kids then dont. Yes, kids change your lifestyle.. I personally am used to the fact of not being able to up and go as I could before I had kids. Although, with your attitude your better off not ever having children or else you will always resent the kids for changing your lifestyle.