My granda is REALLY southern- has a bad drawl and was telling us a story one night when she was plowed about how she thinks her neighbors burned their own home down for insurance money. She meant to say "that's the night the far (fire) started" but what she SAID was "That's the night the star farted."
2007-01-07 05:29:35 · 15 answers · asked by Jennifer F 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
hi
2007-01-10 13:06:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this will slay you...me and a guy friend were on a date 6 or 7 weeks ago at Virgina Beach and getting ready to board The Spirit of Norfolk, a really nice dinner/dancing excursion...when two tipsy couples came up behind me...one of the couples had just tied the knot and were there to celebrate and the sister and her date were with them...I do not remember exactly what I said I think I told a semi naughty joke then all of a sudden the sister burst out asking "so you had sex with a midget?" I am like huh? wahhh? We all burst out laughing cause I never even said the word midget and the joke had something to do with masturbation...LOL
2007-01-07 13:36:37 · answer #2 · answered by tigerlily_catmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I once saw a guy stagger up the street,bump into a telephone pole and say excuse me sir,back up and have a conversation with the pole ,promise to pay back money next week ,say good-bye ,take a step forward,bump the pole again and start all over,this went on for more than 30 minutes and he finally passed out on the spot.
I thought that was a once in a life time,but two years later I watched my neighbor on his porch walk into (face first )his front door,back up, excuse me sir and continue to smash his face in the door and say excuse me sir for quite a while ,the next day he looked like someone kicked his *** so I ask what happened? He told me he got jumped all his money was gone from his pocket and he didn't remember who did it.
2007-01-07 13:43:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My uncle was riding in back seat of his brothers car after a Christmas party. my uncle received a snow blower from the family. it was in back with him.. he was real drunk.
After getting him home . My other Uncle said Come on Randy
I will help you in the house.
Uncle Randy put his arm around the snow blower and said.
" Not unless my Friend Fred can go in with me".
2007-01-07 13:35:50 · answer #4 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The funniest thing I've heard MANY drunks say is "I'm not drunk, I'm intoxicated".
Like there is a difference?
2007-01-07 13:38:10 · answer #5 · answered by New 4 Lulu 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL, yeah I've heard some dumb stuff being said when people are drunk, my favorite one was when my brother in-law asked his wife about her sister "do you think she thinks I'm hot?" during thanksgiving dinner.
2007-01-07 13:34:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
couple of weeks ago, while i was dj'ing, i went to the men's room and heard a guy yelling his head off. "wassa matter bud," i asked. he said, " i'm sitting on the crapper, and i flushed the damm thing and it grabbed my @ss!!! now i can't get up!!!!" i told him to pull his pants up best he could, then i kicked the door open. i looked in and said " ya numbnutz!!! you're sitting on the MOP WRINGER!!!"
2007-01-07 13:39:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a southern drawl too, so I am laughing...I will get back to ya...
2007-01-07 13:35:07 · answer #8 · answered by ~babes~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
2:00 AM.....woke up to a knock on the door.
This guy was standing in my entryway and was so hammered I thought he was going to lose it in on my porch.
He kept trying to tell me I was in his house and I had to get out.
Idiot.
I did call him a cab though :)
2007-01-07 13:33:34 · answer #9 · answered by JC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"I'm metamorphisizing into Bruce Lee, and I have a kung fu penis.."
Ryan said that New Years Eve when he was wrapped in a blanket like a cocoon on his porch.
2007-01-07 13:32:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋