My huband races for a hobby. He just bought a new bike?

Question

I'm starting to feel very resentful. This is not an inexpensive hobby! I feel like when he spends $xx,xxx.xx on a new bike (which he only has 2) or hundreds of $$ on parts, etc., that I should be able to spend as much doing something! Even if it's just stuffing it in an account somewhere. I want to support him, because he's at least home working on it all the time or at the track racing, but I'm getting very resentful about it all. I cringe whenever he starts to talk about it. He just started this hobby 1 year ago (has always loved racing), he won a race last year, not a ton of cash, but irregardless, a win=cash. Did he take the cash??? NO!!! Because the other guy lifted his tire at the line! GIVE ME A BREAK!!! I told him it could've bought at least one part he may need in the future or fuel or little things he has to get here and there. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Answer 1

Did you try to sit down with him and have a heart to heart talk about how you are feeling about it? In any relationship, you should be open, honest, and have good communication, even if it isn't necessarily something you want to hear. There should be areas of comprimise.

Tell him you are starting to feel resentful. But don't start off the talk with negative aspects, as I am sure he will become defensive. Start off with how much you love him and how much you know he loves racing and how much you support him in this. Tell him how much this is hurting financially and you would like to figure out with both your heads together what you can do to put away money for both of you to go on a vacation, or for you to be pampered with every once in a while. Tell him you want to be able to put as much money into an account to be able to save for a rainy day or to go away to a tropical island with him. Tell him that if he wins, he needs to be able to have some of the winnings to help financially as it is putting a financial burden on the finances.

You have to be honest and upfront. If you don't communicate, that will hurt your marriage. Try to come up with something you will both agree on. Do you want kids? If so, you will have to come to an agreement on that. They will have to come first before racing and all that money that goes into it.

I wish you the best. Hugs to you. I will be praying for you. Pray for the right words and the wisdom before you sit down with him.

Answer 2

it depends on a few things, are you funding his "hobby" by working, if not then where is the money coming from as it seems he doesn't have an income, I think you need to have a talk and explain that you are glad he is happy and that you dont want him to give up but theres something about it that really gets to you, I suspect you wanted a "gift" in return purely as a way of getting back at him, tell him you feel neglected if you do, he may start to calm down soon but there again he may not. But please communicate

Answer 3

I'd love to give some great piece of wisdom on this subject, however, my husband is a professional cyclist. Who knew a bicycle could cost upwards of 8K, give me a break. I totally support my husband and his hobby, but come one what about me? I would love to take the money he spends, hell, I'd take half of what he spends, and just bank it for say a cruise or something.

Good Luck

Answer 4

Be grateful he is not: #1 drinking, #2 gambling #3 beating you #4 doing drugs.

Answer 5

stop being selfish...u allowed him to start raceing for a hobby, get over it and find a hobby of ur own that is just as expensive

Answer 6

Talk to him tell him exactly what you said here.Im sure he will understand and hopefully you two can comprimise on this issue.Good Luck.

Answer 7

ask a costly jewellery from your friend and show it to ur hubby that u bought on credit................he will understand everything

Answer 8

bike with him