is it offensive to asked your husband to be?

Question

Lets say you are getting married or engaged.. before you get on serious is it an offense to ask or to ask him to test for any STD's examination??

Since i am still a virgin so i dont think i need myself checked out .. but i just want to make sure that he does not have any kind of records or illness that can affect the family we want to built in..
by the way living in somehow this sex is still a taboo thing .. i'm kinda afraid to bring the topic up..

help me out ..

thanks in advance.

Answer 1

No. It should not be offensive at all. Especially, nowadays. I think it is smart for you to ask your spouse to do it.

Or, if you wanna be slick. Why don't suggest that you both go down and donate blood. Any STD's will show up in the tests.

Answer 2

I think it is becoming mandatory to have an HIV test prior to getting married in many parts of the world.
If your afraid of your to be husband having some sexually transmitted disease, by all means ask him to do a test.
Offer to go for the test yourself, though you know you are a virgin and couldnt have contacted any STD's. That way he wont feel so bad about it.
Pre marital medical examinations, besides checking for STD's HIV infection and other infectious diseases, would also look for blood group compatibility, heriditary diseases, or serious genetic disorders that may affect the children you plan to have, check up the mental health of the individual and alert you if there is any form of dementia or other mental illnesses etc.
If you do have some knowledge of your partner being sexually permissive, Talk to him about it. You definitely need to trust each other, but take the test anyway before you actually start trusting each other.
Best of Luck with your Marriage!

Answer 3

You should both get tested so as not to single him out. The fact that you are a virgin does not necessarily exclude you from having any STD. Let's fear the worst: he has STD, some woman give him a BJ then he kisses her, get the STD in his mouth with which he kisses you...).
Also, be aware that if you want a good marriage, you have to be able to talk to your husband about anything.
I also suggest to test him before you marry him. You do not want to discover on your wedding night that you are not sexually compatible.

Answer 4

You have all right to know and if he thinks it wrong or you don't trust him he may have something to hide. To him it should be an honor to do this with the one he so called loves and wants to spend the rest of his life with. In some states if you are getting married in a church you have to get a blood test to see if there are any genetic relationship between you both ask him why not get an std test as well so we BOTH can know.

Answer 5

If he chooses to be offended that's up to him, but it's perfectly acceptable to ask/expect that of anyone you are considering having sex with.

If he's not a virgin then yeah...I'd ask him to get tested before you two decide to have sex. He shouldn't have a problem with it and if he does, there's a BIG red flag for you.

Why are you afraid to bring it up? You're planning to marry this guy and you can't ask him to take an STD test? Communication is part of the foundation of any good relationship...if y'all don't have that now, it doesn't bode well for the future. This is your health/life you're talking about...I think it's WELL worth a bit of embarrassment or discomfort to ask him, don't you?

Answer 6

Assalamualaikum...

i know why you are afraid to ask... especially in a Malay Muslim society where it is taboo to even bring the topic up.

You have many sound advice here... but it is a question you have to approach delicately.

Approach him and suggest that you both get a health check up before the wedding. You do it, too, even if you know nothing will turn up... that way, he won't feel that you are checking on him..

*Hugs* good luck... Selamat Pengantin Baru

Answer 7

In some states it is required to get a blood test. No, it is not offensive. It is smart.

My husband was a virgin on our wedding night, and I had not had sex after getting out of the Navy. When you get out of the service they do blood tests. I knew I was clean, and showed him my medical records. If he had wanted me to get tested again I would have made my appointment for the next day. No questions asked.

Sex between husband and wife is normal, natural, and healthy. Talk to your future husband openly and honestly about sex, you will be thankful that you did. Sex is not embarrassing!

Answer 8

Hi..I am not sure where you are from but where I am from, being the state of Georgia, a blood test is required from both of you before you can get your marriage license..this blood test checks for STD's so that you both go into the marriage knowing both parties have no diseases you could give each other...it is the law..
if your state doesn't require a blood test then you take it upon yourselves to go do that out of love and respect for one another..good luck! Best Wishes for a Wonderful Marriage & Future Together...

Answer 9

You should ask him to take tests! You should know his past sexual history! With the diseases That are going around now days it is important especially sense you are a virgin to know who he has been with. When I got married we had to have a blood test before we got married. They stopped that because now days most people have already slept together before marriage anyway. So Yes you need to be sure.Ask him to tell you and ask for blood tests. Make him wear protection if you can't wait until the marriage or tests if you are ready,,,You should be sure.

Answer 10

With the rate of HIV/AIDS, and other STD's spreading, i think its safe to want to ensure tht you wont have to run into this or any other on your first encounter with sex. I think tht before non virgins engage in sex, they sould ask partner to get tested. Would lower the rate i think of any disease. But im proud of you for making this decision, or even asking about it. Personal safety from anything, especially sex is so important, i think you sould ask, if he loves you , he'll see the importance of it, adn he has nothing to hide. Even marriage doesn't prevent STD's, so just be safe.

sounds like a good idea!!!!

Answer 11

Ask him this question yourself. Be honest with him and make sure you tell him at the right moment. Tell him you love him but are afraid of an std and that is why you waited to have sex. If he does not understand then tell him that he needs to understand or the wedding is off.