Its breaking my heart because we have a 2 year old child. He is a really lovely guy but he fell into bad company. I Know he loves his kid and me but i don't think i can put up with it any longer. what should i do?? I know he wants to change but its too hard for him and we havent got the financial budget to pay for it to get him clean..
2007-01-07 04:40:58 · 16 answers · asked by ciara_e2007 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Also he hasn't got any interest in me anymore. I know i could find somebody else but i still ahve very strong feelings for him. I am 25 and really don't need bthis right now.
2007-01-07 04:51:16 · update #1
First you have to understand that addiction is a physical disease and detoxing with no help is very painful and can be life threatening, so, he has to acknowledge that if he truly wants to stop. Beating addiction is bigger that him or you, he needs help from a higher power. Unfortunately, you can't will him to stop and your love can't make him stop, he has to want to stop for himself. Most people that stay clean successfully finally understand that they do it for themselves then it sticks. He is dependent on drugs and you are co-dependent, therefore you also may need help and one of the first steps to rehabilitation after detox, is to change people, places and things that have been associated with his addiction. If you live in the U.S., the Federal Government insures that there is some form of no-cost or low-cost help available, maybe on a sliding scale based on income. The money he spends on drugs maybe used to get help. The bottom line is the sooner the better, and try very hard to get help, use the yellow pages and your local government's resources. He may have to spend some time online or on the phone. Admission of a problem and caring help set the right environment for change. I hope he succeeds and your family has a good drug-free life also there is no rule that you have to be there while this is happening or he gets help. If you enable him, you maybe one of the people he needs to be away from.
2007-01-07 05:26:57 · answer #1 · answered by Denise J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to get out of the relationship. He will not change if he knows you are still there. He's addicted to Heroin but the way he sees it is that you are still there so why should he get clean. Furthermore, you have to leave with your child because you do not want your child to be raised around such bad influences. Your partner has obviously put you and the baby after the drugs, if you 2 were first in his life he wouldnt have started using in the first place. You need to get out of the relationship and work on securing the future for yourself and your child, your partner is only going to deter you from doing that, he is creating a strain on finances with his addiction,if he gets into legal trouble there goes more finances, and he's creating mental. mental, and psychological turmoil for yourself and your child. Do whats best for all 3 of you and leave.Good luck!
2007-01-07 04:50:41 · answer #2 · answered by kristina e 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most situations (especially one like this) get worst before they get better. There are state hospitals that can help him recover. This is not a good enviourment for you or your child. If you stay, you may in the end not want to work things out because of all the destruction he will do. Leave for you sake and the child. You know he needs help, there is no need for him to bring you down too. Look into state funded rehab, I am sure they have something where you live. Where I live we have whats called Charity Hospital and its for everything from emergency to mental facility. Look into it. Then if he does get away from doing drugs he will have to move away from his old environment to stay clean. You may already know this, but if not I hope I have helped.
2007-01-07 04:50:52 · answer #3 · answered by calenderchic0271 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What ever you do, do not do anything that makes you become a enabler.
Yes this is serious and he does need help, but you cannot do it for him. He has to admit all this is wrong and really have the desire to clean his life.
I would suggest you check with as many social service agencies as you can for help.
Even try contacting someone from
alcoholics anonymous. The also have programs for drug addiction and will know of resources for you.
do searches also on the Internet.
good luck with this, I feel for you right now
2007-01-07 04:47:13 · answer #4 · answered by apostle1938 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad was a heroin addict too, he took us down some real bumpy roads, some allot more than bumpy. He was an addict when i was 4 until i was 14. my brothers and i lived without food clothing, electric, heat, and holidays. people at school made fun of us cause of our clothes and house, and they would give us hand-me downs for Christmas presents. when my mom would try help him or ask for money for clothes or shoes he would beat her. she finally learned he would never stop and left him, with the help of her family. he did 10 years in state prison for him to straighten up, when he was released he was not longer an addict. tough way to go through rehab, but unfortunately the only one that works. he will DO ANYTHING to get his drug, lie, cheat,steal, even kill. i know from experience the only thing he cares about is his drug.
2007-01-07 05:00:44 · answer #5 · answered by Patricia G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will always be a Heroin Addict. He has to change by himself. The only thing you can do is support his change but there is no way to maintain a relationship under those circumstances. Find an AL-Anon meeting and attend it,Get some support.
2007-01-07 04:44:48 · answer #6 · answered by VK1960 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no such thing as an old heroin addict. They die. I'm sure that no matter where you live you could find a free or low-cost program to get him clean. Good luck, Honey.
2007-01-07 04:44:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do too have the financial budget-methadone. Find a clinic. I promise you they will work with you. If he has a budget for heroine, he can afford $10or $20 a week for methadone. LOOK INTO IT BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE. They also have counselors he can go to for free.
2007-01-07 04:45:00 · answer #8 · answered by MNBound 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that if he doesnt stop then you will be forced to leave him and you still have strong feelings for him. if he still has strong feelings for you then he will stop. tell him that you just cant put up with it anymore and he is breaking your heart. Just flat out tell him the truth.
2007-01-07 04:58:49 · answer #9 · answered by CH CH CH CHIA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm...there must be somewhere he can go for help that does not cost money. i think i would probably call my local hospital for information. i'm sure they could refer your boyfriend to a place that can help him. perhaps they have a program there established. otherwise take a look in the yellow pages. they must have a list of local organizations (such as AA) that can help drug dependency. good luck to both of you.
2007-01-07 04:45:19 · answer #10 · answered by molloy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋