I'm 40-ish. I have a good job. Married/divorced, no kids. Met a man online a month ago and he finally talked me into meeting in person yesterday. He had to work for it - I was quite apprehensive but finally gave in. He had roses for me and we had a good time. He is a widower - lost his wife a few years ago. He is damaged for sure but so scruffy and handsome and funny and I really liked him in person even more than I liked him as an anonymous cyber-friend.
I just want to be kissed. I am so sad today and reminded of why I don't date. Any words of wisdom or encouragement would be appreciated.
2007-01-07 04:33:55 · 11 answers · asked by ganbattegirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You all all so great. I think the problem is I really hoped there would be possibly a second date or a phone call or something. But I have indeed read "He's Just Not That Into You" and the rules state I cannot call. He has to. Boys like that. Guys - what's your take on that? And someone please tell me how I got to my 40s without knowing the rules.
2007-01-07 04:53:58 · update #1
No calenderchic - one tiny kiss at the end and nothing more.
2007-01-07 05:03:12 · update #2
You didn't say how your new friend felt about your meeting. Sounds like he's pretty decent. He even brought you roses! He is a widower, not damaged. He has been through paid but he isn't damaged. Now that you know that you like him so much, why are you so sad? Why ae you reminded why you don't date? If it went so well, call him. have another date. However, take it slow. If he was married any amount of time, it may take him a while to let himself feel something for you. But call him. Don't sit around and be sad.
2007-01-07 04:42:43 · answer #1 · answered by David L 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people think kissing at the end of the first date should wait. I for one am one of those people. The first kiss is always awkward and it should wait at least until the second date. Maybe he was not feeling it the way that you were or maybe he is waiting until the second date. Do not be desperate and fall for the first guy have fun with your life you are only 40 not 80. Put yourself out there and have fun while you can. Think of it this way if he was not into you then it is his loss. Do not wait by the telephone waiting for him to call you. Do not call him it will only make it worse and he will think you are desperate and probably will come to see you only to get satisfaction in other areas.
2007-01-07 05:41:55 · answer #2 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see no problem with your statement that "he had to work for it" .. of course some guy you meet online that is possibly a nutcase has to work for it... I would have found it even more strange if you would have said..we talked online for a week..then we met...YOWZERS. Hey, the cyberfriend thing is really cool.....sometimes. Although, I think it adds some confusion to convos. at times.. not everything is always understood by both parties in black and white..but, hey if you like him... I'd say take it slow..if a week or 2 goes by..and you don't talk again online or he doesnt call...well something isn't right. I say give it some time!! Good Luck....
P.s. I'm married and long to be kissed too!!! lol
2007-01-07 05:02:19 · answer #3 · answered by Hear2Help 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Single, Male, 43 years old.
First, you gotta let go of expectations, I suppose. A lot of the people out there in our dating pool are dammanged, but it's no reflection on you, so don't take it personally.
You've got some work to do yourself. You're still playing games like "making him work for it". Don't get me wrong, you should excercise reasonable discretion, but "making him work for it" may just be a way of screening out guys who aren't needy.
Red Flag: guy shows up with roses for a meeting? Arggh. Yeah, your screening method is working really good:)
Finally, have some fun with it. So you meet some nuts? So what? Lots of animals in the Zoo, and that makes it interesting, don't you think?
If you go out on enough first meetings, it stops bothering you so much. Sounds to me that you may have some rejection issues, so you are being too careful and screening out potentially healthy people.
2007-01-07 04:47:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try to establish a friendship in the Real World. It's easy to be funny online when you don't have a history with someone and you aren't obligated. Once you meet the person as he did and found out that you were really a nice woman; he was forced to see that you were real ; when all he really wanted was someone to fulfill a sexual fantasy.
2007-01-07 05:09:43 · answer #5 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey..I am 39 and just starting to get back into dating myself. Whats wrong?? Sounds like you had a nice time! Call him up and ask him out!!! Not sure what the problem is!! If you don't want him send him my way!!!
2007-01-07 04:52:51 · answer #6 · answered by mysweetluvie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it, it's better you know now that there wasn't a connection. Better than wasting any more time. Try meeting people in person, that way you both know if there's an attraction.
2007-01-07 05:03:02 · answer #7 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could you give a little more info. You didn't state why you were sad. It sounded like you did more than kiss and now you regret it, but I don't want to assume.
2007-01-07 04:54:36 · answer #8 · answered by calenderchic0271 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain....i am also 40ish and sad and want to be kissed....I think one of these days we will just let ourselves be happy for ourselves and not worry about what to do and what not to do....as hard as it is...we need to be happy with ourselves and our family and children....the love of a man will come when it comes....when we are sad - no one looks good......some days it feels like why even bother....i hope Mr. Cyberman is a good luck charm for you and makes you feel like you deserve to feel....
take care and enjoy 2007 - i hope it's a good year for you...
2007-01-07 04:41:08 · answer #9 · answered by regis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been alone too long. Have a good cry and get back out there. It gets better!
2007-01-07 04:42:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋