The only concern is there is not real spark between us almost like some people who have been married for a while. Am I being selfish by trying to avoid the same problem from my marriage and look for someone who I have that spark and passion with that was missing with my marriage and with this woman. We talk about it but I just do not think it is in her emotional make up. I truly believe that person is still out there. I am a nice guy but should I look for that person or does she truly exsist?
2007-01-07 04:07:18 · 17 answers · asked by paco 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You may now, want to think about why you are divorced? Just exactly what were you looking for last time? Why didn't it work? I suspect you will always believe there is someone else out there, once you get past the "lust" phase...
That is a symptom of your own emotional maturity, not a "mystical" soul-mate who you believe is out there.
2007-01-07 04:48:04 · answer #1 · answered by Boston Bluefish 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think if there is no spark after just 5 months, you should move on to someone else. There's no sense in tying up your time and this other person's time when you know it's going nowhere, and you want something more. If there was spark to begin with, it should not have died by 5 months, and if you're still waiting for the spark - after 5 months, I'd say it's not happening.
2007-01-07 04:14:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need the sparks in order to get married. You may not be allowing the sparks to shine thru b/c of a failed marriage. Take your new girl out..take her to a romantic dinner for the 2 of you. Just relax and trust in her and in yourself. See if the sparks or chemistry is there with you being totally relaxed. If it isnt you may want to sit your girl down and tell her how you are feeling. She deserves to know if the sparks she sees are only her own.
Good luck with this.
2007-01-07 04:17:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are but I do know that as your age changes so do your taste. You can go for someone hot that you have a spark with but if you fight with her all the time then it isn't worth it. Looks fade... I think you just haven't looked enough. You can still date this girl but just keep it simple. If she or you don't feel the spark by now it probably isn't there. Are you sure she wasn't just someone you wanted to date to show you could still get someone? A rebound relationship of sorts? It happens a lot after a divorce.
2007-01-07 04:12:05 · answer #4 · answered by healergirl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont' think it's being selfish by wanting that spark. And I wouldn't settle for something that didn't feel right. The spark definately needs to be there or you'll be unhappy inside, if not outside.The right person will come along in time. I was divorced for five years before I started dating seriously. And now I have found someone who is perfect for me. It takes time...be patient. The right person will come along. I wish you the best.
2007-01-07 04:14:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, wait for someone that you have a spark with!! If that was what was lacking in your last marriage why would you want that again? There is someone out there who will bring that passion and spark you want. Just be patience, the right person will eventually come into your life.
2007-01-07 04:13:03 · answer #6 · answered by Brian and Kari 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
there are some people who are in love with falling in love, and once the falling in love part is over, they get bored. Relationships require work, but not all relationships are meant to be....I'd say if there is no passion or spark at 5 months, do the lady a favor and move on.
2007-01-07 04:20:51 · answer #7 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't settle for someone you aren't in love with! Marriage is supposed to be forever, and you'll never make it if you don't have passion for her. There's no need to rush into another marriage especially one that is just like the one you got out of. Take some time for yourself and then you'll be able to find what you really want!
2007-01-07 04:14:02 · answer #8 · answered by Lindsey M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't be so desperate to be with someone that you make another wrong choice....if you need the spark then keep looking...but you also need to understand that the spark does change over time and the passion is not quite as hot and sizzling as the years go on....good luck
2007-01-07 04:15:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's out there but you gotta keep looking. If there isn't a spark and you need that spark, move on. You are not being selfish.
Don't settle, life is short. I guarantee there's someone looking for a nice guy like you. Just don't expect to find her immediately.
2007-01-07 04:12:29 · answer #10 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋