does it sound healthy both ethically and logically if a female has a male friend rather than her husband?

Answer 1

It's perfectly fine to have males friends when you're married. I've been married for a few years, and my close male friends have never bothered my husband. However, around the time I got married, I did make a few adjustments to those friendships just to avoid making my husband feel threatened. I stopped hanging out alone with my guy friends - now I always include my husband in on any outings when I am going out with male friends, or I'll invite them over to the house to have dinner with me and my husband so that they can get to know each other and so my husband can feel comfortable about my friendships with them.

Just remember, your husband should be comfortable with the situation. If he feels threatened, talk to him, reason with him, see how he responds. Some men may never accept that it's ok for their wife to have guy friends, and if that's the case, you might end up having to make that sacrifice. Too often people think it's more important to "stand up" for themselves... but think about it like this: if you had to choose between being with your husband or being with your guy friends, who would you choose? If you answered your husband, then a sacrifice is in order. If you chose your friends, then you may need to step back and take a look at your marriage and find out what's missing there!

Good luck!

Answer 2

To me its logically perfectly healthy.
I am married for 15 years and from day 1 both of us have no compaints about the opposit sex friends of our spouce.

I do not want to comment on extent of relationship, cause this is subjective; and more a matter of argument rather than agreement.

I sincerely beleive that with the help of your understanding with your life partner, whether good or bad; if you could define boundries for each other - respectfully or by compromise - there is smooth selling, and appears healthy to the society [although it may not be so].

Why I bring society here into picture?
Its mainly to answer the other part 'ethical' of your question.
I trust that if one is truthful, reasonable and logical; then the act based on these is perfectly 'ethical' with reference to the person. But it may not be so in the eyes of the society.

At the end of the day you, your spouce and possibly your family leaves in the society and depends on the society in some way or the other. Can you cope up with society [or fraction of society] going against you, cause they think your behaviour is non-ethical? This is the real question to be answered.

So, the question about 'ethical' would be practically non-existant if you are mentally strong, or build strenth with the of this new friendship.

Social system was developed a long time back, which took care of the needs of most of the individuals. It also developed rules for maintaining orderly structure of the masses. therefore along with the consideration of individual needs, there were restrictions on individual behaviour. This developed 'marriage' system, and amongst some of the restrictions - to have smooth running of this system - was keeping away from other male individuals [parapurush as we call in hindi/sanskrit].

In the present day society, majority of the married couples are not enjoying the rites of this system [as they were expected originally to the 'system makers'] for various reasons. Here I am particularly refering to hysical intemacy and sex.

Why I am touching this topic is because it forms an importnt aspect of marrigae system, and really is a distinguishing factor between a male friend and husband.

Today it is an accepted fact that when women work outside, they could be developing intimacy at various levels with their male co-workers. So, I do not want to even challange that, or say that it is wrong.

If we understand all these facts, we come to the conclusion that to run your life smoothly, you require both rites/ freedom and restrictions. The same thing can be seen from three different view points - yours, that of your spouce [or family], and the society.

Considering all this, and your own mental strenght, you have to decide what is correct.

I generally think a lot before deciding what is correct. But once I have decided, and act on it; there is no looking back or regrets.

Hope I have touched most of the points you wanted to address directly and mostly indirectly by phrasing the question.

Do write back if you think it helped but needed to discuss more.

Dr Abhay

Answer 3

Yes, it is logical and correct. It gives more base to the marriage. Many times we have fears and suspicious the way the husband behaves and we need sound advise, which only a male friend can give us. They can stop a marriage from disintegration. However there are two problems,
1. To get a good male friend, who does not have base intentions
2. The society and maybe the husband, under certain circumstances, point accusing fingers that you are having an extra maritial affair.

Answer 4

Friends are the best thing to happen, when all doors close a friends door opens, some of my best friends are men, as long as you make them aware of the boundries from which you function, What is ethical or logical, depends on the definitions you give to these words, if your husband is involved in this relationship it is even better because if not even then it is good, depends on what works for you, in a marriage trust is important, and if your marriage has this then everything is workable.

Answer 5

I have lots of friends of both sexes. I will be married in Feb this year and he has no problems with it. These are friends that i have had for years before I met him. So to answer your question it is ok. just know you need to be secure in your relationship so if he has friends that are female you are secure and ok with that. this is something that the 2 of you have to decide--if your husband is ok with it then there is no problem. If he isnt then you will want to remain friends but only talk to that friend with your husband present.

Answer 6

It is not adviceable. sometimes when people don't understand, they don;t belive which lead to seperation and finally coz of this, kid suffer. So why do have a friend like this kind of sutiation.

Best is be frank with husband about your friendship. If he is not comfortable tell to your friend and just be away. Real friend will not want his or her friend to suffer in a family. One day sure husband can understand what is friendship.

Answer 7

It depends. If her husband is not a good friend to her, it wouldn't be unusual for her to find a friend elsewhere. Ideally, a married woman's best friend would be her husband but that's not always possible.
If there are questions and doubts, communicate. Talk with your spouse and get to the bottom of it.

Answer 8

well depend upon so many things..

sometimes our likes-dislikes- ideas match with other person more than our husband .. that person could be a good friend. but danger line is that gnerally between male and female friendship may turn into sexual relationship which may be red signle for marriage..

Answer 9

Most of my friends are males. Two of my longest, most loyal, most trusted and closest friends are males!!! So yes it can happen and NO I have not slept with either one of them. Never had the desire to. I see them as brothers. My ex-husband always understood it and accepted it. Even liked them.

Answer 10

If it isn't fine with your husband, you have to make a compromise. People will tell you to stand up for yourself, etc., but the truth is, you have to do what is right for your marriage. It has to come first before everything.