could it be why we fight every week?

Question

my husband and seem to have a hard time not fighting sometimes. i think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we never have a single day off together during the week. i work at an airport and work every sunday - wednesday even holidays and my husband works at a breakfast club and bar monday - saturday and he has no set hours. his schedule changes ever week. so between the two of us one of us works everyday of the week. could this be having a negative affect on our relationship? and should i find another job or should he?

we our a low income family, with one daughter & we have very few evening together. not really any daytime together and never time for vacation plus no money for that. but most the time when we seem to fight it is when i am working on sunday and that is his only day off. and things always end up crazy and i just start crying.

i only work 4 days a week but he can't take to much time off of his job at all. he doesn't get vaca time or paid time off. and if he missing work we would miss paying bills or something. we are on a very tight budget. very low income family.

Answer 1

I think that you two have no time to discuss problems with your work schedules and that is why the both of you fail to communicate. Somewhere in that work week you have to make family time for a couple hours so, you can vent to one another. Especially, when money matters. When you are broke and working hard the fights come one after another. I am going through it too. We just bought a house and we are trying to adjust to all our new bills so, we fight daily. We will get through it and you will too.

Answer 2

You both have to sacrifice to take care of your daughter. As a low income family; your relationship is under a lot of financial stress. Having so little time together is probably affecting your sex life as well and there could be some sexual frustration that causes the fights. Finding different work sounds like a great idea but don't quit the job you have until you have a sure thing to go to. It would just add to your burden if you were without the limited income you have.
It's Sunday, now go and be with your husband and get off of the computer. Also, consider getting rid of the internet service. Every little bit helps.

Answer 3

Well it sounds like you are doing what you need to do right now. You are still very young. Maybe if you stop over analyzing the situation at hand and accept that what the two of you are doing is for your family it won't seem like such a hardship. You will eventually find time together. Sometimes life is hard but you don't necessarily need to change it. Show your daughter that you two have what it takes to stick things out no matter what. Life is short...it doesn't sound like you have a lot to fight about. It will get better so hang in there.

Answer 4

Yes I think this could be affecting your relationship in a negative way because you don't really have any time to just be together. The daily stress will get to both of you. Try to work it out where you can at least have one day or night a week off together and then have dinner together, watch a movie or whatever...just be together and enjoy each others company. I hope everything works out for you two.

Answer 5

You need to set a special time just for you to just be together. Go to the park, take a walk,get an ice cream and talk. there are a lot of things to do that don't cost a lot or anything.
I have been married for 28 years and I work days and my husband works nights, we have had this arrangement for 17 years and we had to put a lot of thought into this solution.He is a police officer and I am a nurse in a hospital and our schedules rarely mesh or are always changing. Look at your schedules and make time. If it takes one of you changing your job make sure the right person changes the job.lol

Answer 6

well....its not just because of work its cause...well couldn't u take a day off work together like just take a day off it won't hurt...well it could be affecting ur relationship because if u guys dont' spend time together EVER! then its kinda hard to be husband and wife if u never ever get to see each other rarely and girl don't just quit your work because u want to spend time with him u guys should move your schedules around sooo at least u have 1 day off ask ur boss maybe she or he would be glad to unless ur boss is a grouchy bum head anyway don't worry about work and all that its not all about work ok...take a day off or end work early sometime and u guys can go out for supper or something don't worry about all this, it happens ALLL the time trust me don't quit your work and start a new job cause that might even make it hard i hope it helps welll bye

Answer 7

I think your fighting is a way of connecting emotionally with your partner. Its a negetive way but hopfully you get makeup time together out of it. You two should probably sit down and and figure out where in your schedules you can find a break. It has to be a priority. One or the other has to make an adjustment so you can have time together. If its important you will make it happen. If you continue like you are its inevitable the storms will continue, and only get bigger and stronger.

Answer 8

it could be, do you get to spend any time together? Like nights or the occasional vacation? Do you have good communication. Your work all depends on what is best for your relationship, if you can find ways to spend time together on your current schedule, then you won't need to change jobs, or maybe you could change shifts. It really is up to what you and your husband want.

Answer 9

You have to have quality time together. I can bet those fights usually start when one of you has a day off and another the other has to work, right? You need at least one day together.

Answer 10

There is a lot of factors to consider - can either of you cut back hours - until you ask HR or your bosses you will never know. I cut back to 4 days a week once because of family trouble - most bosses would rather help a good employee and give them a few less shifts than lose them.