i cant seem to make friends?

Question

at school i had loads of friends and was really popular, but over the years i have lost contact with everyone and have not a single person to talk too, im really lonely and miss socialising. Does anyone have any advice as to how i can meet people and develop friendships....cos I cant seem to do that. I have tried voluntary jobs, clubs etc...

I am an easy going, fun, friendly person...what am i doing wrong

Answer 1

High school can be a nightmare for some kids....sometimes it seems to the more you try, the worse it gets. Keep an eye out for other kids that are quiet, and looking like they might be in the same situation as you. Your friends are there....you might be looking in the wrong direction....

All the best to you....

Answer 2

I hope this doesn't sound harsh or mean - but maybe you are trying too hard? By that I mean, people tend to be drawn to relaxed people who already have friends as they see that they must have something good to offer to a friendship.

I've been there before when I moved away from home and I couldn't meet new people. Like you, I'm friendly and fun but people seemed to sense I wanted to make friends and backed off.

I know you have tried clubs etc but keep at them and once people get to recognise you they will start chatting and it will go from there.

Good luck - and keep trying. As they say "Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet" - cheesy but sort of true.

Answer 3

I have a similar problem to you, i also have a severe lack of confidence and when it comes to making friends and meeting new people I am hopeless because i become so closed off and i'm never myself. The only advice i can give you is to make a concious effort to make friends and always be youself, not who they might want you to be. If you are true to youself and you are open, people will see a great personality shining through. Its not easy and I have felt this way for about two years, good luck, just be yourself x

Answer 4

Friendships blossom if two or more people share the same idelogies, be it in sport, love issues or just general views. A friend is one whom you confide in should you need advice or something. So you need to appreciate what the people whom you meet in life are doing and if you don't go along with their mode of life, you continue to seek one whose attitude bonds with yours. Don't force yourself to be in a friendship which you don't appreciate, so take this solitary life you are leading as a phase were you try and read books or anything which makes one appreciate a friend, for they are some who at this moment are trying to move away from their friends for various reasons.

Answer 5

Friendship comes from shared interests and time. Focus on yourself and fulfilling your own needs and desires. That means developing your potential. As you do that, you will find people who share your passions and ideas of fun.

You can't actively go out and seek friends just because you think you should have them. People will think you are needy and using them.

You can find them online (carefully).

I found my closest friend through work (with homeless people). She changed my whole outlook on friends. I stopped seeing the people who were negative and only getting what they wanted out of friendship without ever thinking about what I needed....So be sensitive to others.

Answer 6

Finding good friends is alot like dating, sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. When you find a potential friend, ask them out for lunch. After going out on a few friend lunch dates, I'm sure you'll find some friends. In the meantime, keep doing different activities until you find one you're really into then you'll make friends based on things you love. I met alot of new friends at a Karate class I started going to 2 yrs alo. Good Luck.

Answer 7

sometimes what we think we are is not often what we portray.I share you dilemna being a serial anti-friend making machine.I had to take stock and think what it was that i could be doin that offended people and after all my soul searching i found that high expectations among others was the problem.
Relax,find a few clubs to go to and u'll probably find from there that people who are genuinely interested in you will come along as you will now share something in common with them.
Good Luck!!!!

Answer 8

probably u re too easy going. people do not take u seriously, or maybe they think u re shallow. try to say and do stuff from your heart. do not say anything just do please others if u yourself do not feel it is right to say or do. anyway, i have noticed that good hearted, honest, polite and intelligent people usually make lots of real friends and keep them. so probably u re missing some of those points. for instance i can say about myself i am not good hearted. and the thing that u re doing voluntarily jobs doesn't necessarily mean u have a good heart. maybe u re doing it cos of vague. and trust me people can detect fakeness in an instant.

Answer 9

I like to be on my own at times and sometimes its for the wrong reasons such as,, too higher expectations of people, anger,and resenments,and self pity/
anti social behaviour can cause isolation, so be carefull of allowing yourself to fee;l less than others,and write at least twenty reasons why other people would enjoy your company.
you dont have the right to allow yourself to be cut off from the company of others.
take on my suggestions and look out there is someone looking to be your buddy,

Answer 10

Dont realy know I have the same problem, single mother work in small office where can you go to meet people to hang out with not to date