Have you experienced "unrequited love"?

Question

how did you deal with it?

Answer 1

Yes. After many years of friendship with a woman who was one of my greatest inspirations as well as my closest friend, I came to see that she was not going to ever see me as anyone but her friend, even her very best, dearest and most intimate friend. We shared everything that a couple may share, except romantic love. We were truly that close. We lived together many years, under the same roof but not under the same covers -- although on some cold nights we snuggled together under her thick down comforter (we were living the bohemian life, starving artists, lol).We had coffee together in bed, we meditated together, and we were as intimate and unabashed in each others presence as any lovers may be. We did nearly everything together, from morning meditations and coffee to going out at nights, or just relaxing together on summer evenings, swinging lazily in our Yucatan wedding hammock, draped together... so close.. so many times I wanted to look into those soft blue eyes of hers and tell her... "I love you..."

What may I tell you to let you feel what it is like to lie next to someone, their head nestled on your shoulder, perfectly content, sublimely happy, to have her lips mere inches from mine, and to never taste her kiss?

I dealt with it the only ways possible... first, she was such a joy to know and be with. There was never a friend like her before or since. I cherished her friendship.

Second, I would have stayed with her as a friend forever, and maybe my life would have gone on as a tale of great unrequited love, and I would be like poor Gabriel Oak In Hardy's Far From the Madding Crowd -- for me, the classic tale of unrequited love.

Even as did Gabriel Oak, I remained her friend while she entered what became a complicated love triangle, and though I knew neither of her two suitors were good for her, all I could do was be there for her as a constant friend, which I always was.

It saddens me to say that -- in the end -- how I dealt with it, and I strongly suspect this is what happens to many forlorn lovers -- I moved far away... across the country... and 2000 miles, and much time, and much experience later, I found myself still thinking of her, but finally resigned to knowing she would never be mine.



I still think of her every now and again, of course, she was my closest friend, and although I left our friendship (I had to go far away -- a mistake, I now know, but then it seemed the only recourse for my forlorn heart) I will always think of her as my friend, and I suspect she will always think of me the same.

*sigh* ... but that was a very long time ago... so long ago....

And I have found my true love, my soul-mate, my Happy Kat love, and my heart is more full than I ever dreamed possible. Kat, this is for you -- you're all I ever need, because you are my true love, baby.

Mahal kita talaga, mahal ko.

Answer 2

Yes- and it was very painful. I dealt with it the best I could but nevertheless cried myself to sleep every night, eventually I met someone else. Everything happens for a reason even if you never see the reason....maybe when you find that someone special that loves you back, you are able to appreciate it more and not take it for granted.

Answer 3

we won't all be blessed or it does no longer be a blessing. i'm going to think of with regard to the undesirable souls who ignored out for the time of my next strategies-blowing episode. consistent with danger. does no longer or no longer it quite is sturdy if there become a attempting out gadget, like for grasp mechanics, or the BAR examination for legal experts? we could all circulate and be examined, and if we surpassed the try we could be a 'qualified Cosmically strategies-blowing Lover'. we might get a certificates to hang on our mattress room wall, and an identity card that should get us in unique golf equipment and supply different fringe reward. existence could be gooooood.

Answer 4

There once was a woman whom I had greatly admired for many years. We were best of friends, participated in business enterprises together and shared a large quaint Victorian house which served not only as our home but also as our studio space.

My feelings for her were first and foremost as my very best friend, and I have had no better friend before or since. Though there are and have been many good people and good friends in my life, none ever compared to our friendship in any fashion or on any level.

We spent many years together as both friends and fellow artisans. We ran a small boutique for a few years, offering only clothing and accessories made by us and others -- designers, artisans, crafts-persons. Handwoven fabrics, tie-dyed and batik prints, jewelry, ceramics and more were fashioned into one-of-a-kind hand tailored apparels, both by she and myself, and by many others (all friends, too!)

It was truly a very good life, to rise early in the morning, have our coffee on the wide veranda, then enter our studio and resume work on whatever project, working constantly and even at the day's end, we would find ourselves doing small handworks as we relaxed in the evening. Who could ask for anything more than that -- living by doing what we loved doing, doing it in our home, in our boutique, with our best friends?

I wanted much more.

Soon in our relationship, I knew I was in love with her, and I also knew that she was not in love with me. Over the years I watched as she had first one and then a second lover. We went on for many years famously as friends, but always in my heart I felt she would one day turn to me and see her true love was right there.

That never came to pass. Ultimately, we came to a turning of roads and I followed a path which led me far away, never to return. For many years afterwards, I was unable to accept that she was not to be mine and so I lost myself in work, and in travel. yet always she remained in my mind and it was difficult to be close with any lover for the reason that I could not stop thinking only of her.

How did I deal with it, you ask? Honestly, I could not deal with it; however, time and experience softened the feeling and I learned to accept what we had -- our wonderful friendship, our many things shared, from the simplest to our best times -- and taking that in, I was opened to receive love.

There has been only one love in my life since then, but that is another tale. I will tell you that although not an unhappy tale nor one of unrequited love, it was not the lasting love. I am yet to find my life mate, my true love.

I believe it will come one day. Love comes when you don't look for it. You cannot make love come simply by wanting it. You can only open the way, so that love may enter.

Answer 5

Just once, when I was seventeen, and he was and still is one of the best men I've ever known(he was 19 at the time; I've talked to him off and on in the years since). I dealt with it by writing poetry, and those were some of my greatest poems, or at least my favorites :)

Answer 6

Yes, wn i was younger and i did not have to deal with it.
I just basked in the warm feelings at that time ...........
its great ! cause u do not have to give any explanations or clarifications whatsoever.
It was great while it lasted ---- cause i had to move out to another place & that was the end of it.
I still chuckle to myself wn i think back abt it.

Answer 7

ive loved & im in love now.if youre going to love a person shouldnt it always be with every once of your being.i dnt think there are half measures when it comes to loving.so my answer must be yes & im dealing with it fine.

Answer 8

YES! I make up a fairy tale in my head and bask in the glow of my imagination!

Answer 9

Yes, and its much less complicated than requited love. Just enjoy it, if it happens it happens, if not, you haven't lost anything.

Answer 10

I'm still going through it. We may never be together, but we still love each other.