Why is it so hard to let go of the ones that u love?It's been a year since the guy I was with passed away in a car crash accident.No matter how hard I try,everything I do,everything I see reminds me of him.My job gives me many oportunities,such as travelling around the world,getting to know different people and so on.It helps in a way....I guess...My friends say I have a life in front of me..so many things to do,many things to accomplish.It's hard for me to open up and say how I feel.My question is,why can't I just let go?
2007-01-07 00:49:55 · 9 answers · asked by n 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm so sorry about your huge loss. It really hasn't been very long for you to get over the loss of someone you love a lot. I'm sure in a lot of ways you will always care for him. It will take time for you to want to be with someone else and that's only natural. A death is very different from a break-up, where hurtful things may have been done or said; that makes it easier to get over someone when they've done hurtful things to you. The guy that passed away didn't do anything to hurt you so of course you're going to still have good, loving feelings for him, and you should. Lots of hugs and best wishes to you. Someone with such a loving heart is sure to find someone else great down the line. In the meantime be patient with yourself. xxx
2007-01-07 01:34:06 · answer #1 · answered by Stacey 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are holding on to the love you had, and afraid you will never find it again. You seem afraid to open up, worried that people might think you should have moved on by now, the grieving process is different for evryone, I think maybe you should stop trying to let go, feel what you need to feel. And you're friends are not being helpful, which is perhaps why you can't open up to them, let them know that you just need support. Try checking out a few grief websites, it is hard to lose someone you love, I lost a nephew last year and I can't let go of him, I never met him because he only lived a couple of days, but I will never stop loving him and I will never forget him, mayber you could try visiting his grave, tell him how you feel and tell him goodbye, it may help.
2007-01-07 09:52:47 · answer #2 · answered by cheeky_lil_pixiegirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry; I wish i could wave a magic wand and make it all better but i cant; While I can say is time will ease the pain. Even over the internet I feel your mourning;
I too have got a phone call or a knock on the door early in the morning, My heart still jumps in the middle of the night when the phone rings.
people mean well and they love you; but if you have never lost a part of your self; it is not that eaasy to move on. I cried a river of tears. But the bible says those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.;. I turned to God; I went to talk to my pastor who was like my father almost very day fora year;. I hung with those whom loved me.. I exercised, went to church, i would play christian cds and happy music, i took up a few new hobbies.took wobbley baby steps, and slowly I came back to life..and i bloomed!
For a season i felt like i died too. I had to live and go on. I had children and live is a gift. No doubt he was very special;
Love will come again, Each love is diffrent and special and a gift.
Some people live all their lives and never find that soul mate; and love like that;
that song by leanne womack; I hope you dance. listen to those words. Lift your hands unto the lord. The one who made your heart. he will heal your heart; he did mine; Relax honey ; it is a work in progress; breathe in and breathe out ; one day at a time; some times one breathe at a time; No one can take his place; ever..He will always be in your heart. But Good news.
Someday someone eles; who will be special too will walk into your heart.. Dont push it; There is a season for everything;; you are not ready yet; Trust God's timing.. You rally need to go talk to someone safe and express how you feel..
God sent a special man in my life several years later, I love him too; He has made his own place in heart. we have a very special love too.. God bless you! you will be in my prayers and thoughts
2007-01-07 09:53:35 · answer #3 · answered by tennessee 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Letting go is so hard because it simply means goodbye....In your part it's really hard for you to let go because untill this moment of time the feeling is still existing,I know you still love him.All I can say is that try to let go your feelings for him step by step.Give chance to others for sure he wants you also to be happy and he doesn't want you to be sad,move on thats the right thing to do.Meet guys try to open your heart to a new one.....You know what one thing that keeps you from the past is that the pain is still in your heart.Girl open up to your bestfriend or anybody who is close to you regarding what you feel,get out from the past and try to move on to the next level which is the future.....Do it untill there is time,remember time is running....You deserve to be happy,I know God has another plan for you that's why he get your bf......God bless with your journey in life.You have everything in life I think and all you need is happiness,truly happiness.
2007-01-07 09:10:45 · answer #4 · answered by cro 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A year is still not long enough, i think it may take a little bit longer to let it all go. You shouldn't make yourself to remember or to forget something, just go on your life. People we used to love never go away from our life completely, they stay in a special part of our heart and this a normal part of life. One day you will meet someone new and you will be just as happy again, but just don't force yourself to forget something, treasure the good memories of the past and go on your life... One day you will let it go naturally, just don't force yourself to do it now or a day later.
The very best of luck.
2007-01-07 09:08:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the chances are you will never be able to let go... you cant force your mind to repress your feelings... but it will hurt less as time goes on... you wont notice it straight away and throughout life you are bound to see things that remind you of him... the thing to do is ask yourself "if he was here right now, what would he want?"... and im sure the answer to that is for you to be as happy as you can be... live your life... go travelling, meet new people... he would want that of you... in the back of your mind he will always be there... and rather than letting his memory discourage you, let it will you to go on... of course its hard and it will take a long time untill you can begin to look at things in a new light, but the longer you work on it, the easyer it will get... i wish you much luck and happyness in your life :)
2007-01-07 09:30:10 · answer #6 · answered by natalia121 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Greiving has no time line, but the one you establish. Don't stress over why you can't let go. I know you've been told this over and over again...In time you will find someone or something else that you will have much passion for. When something pulls us into the future, something we look forward to, we slowly stop looking back or visit only now and then.
2007-01-07 08:54:35 · answer #7 · answered by ME 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
greiving is a proccess. it takes time. you will experience emotional pain and have your ups and downs. so to anwer your question....why is it so hard? no matter how hard you try you cant let go. it is normal. you will keep thinking about it and the pain will come back. unfortuanetly pain and bad memories like this cannot be just let go. you will have to learn to accept that he is gone. this is painful to think about but overtime you will become in a way emotionally stronger and you will come to realize that he is gone and you will not be as hurt emotionally. how does this make you feel. when you think about it? the best way to let go with something like this is to fight the emotions with somebody. what i mean is talk with somebody about how you feel.....let it out. you will feel alot better whenever you tell somebody how you feel. you need to talk with somebody who will listen and try to understand you.......this could either be proffesionals.......or other loved ones or friends. most people feel alone when it comes to the emotional pain that comes from the death of a loved one. but once you tell someone how you feel you will feel better. and they will be able to talk with you about it. its not good to push your feelings to the side. because they will come back later whenever you experience other pains. but i would just talk with someone about it. tell them your story so you dont feel as bad. hope this helps
2007-01-07 09:08:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
one word " Life Goes On "
2007-01-07 09:40:57 · answer #9 · answered by S@D L@Dy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋