I met a guy we planned to get married, have a baby and buy a house together (we both owned our own houses). My boyfriend was delighted when we were engaged and I got pregnant, he then changed and wanted me to pay off his mortgage (I have more money than him) when I told him no as he house was not to my taste and he had lived there with a previous girlfriend. He told me to have an abortion, when I refused and ignored him, he then said "you buy the family home and I rent out my house and we get married", I told him to get lost as I can buy a family home but with no real commitment he can sod off, as I can manage fine alone, and probably be happier. He has since sold his house as he could not afford it and bought a cheaper one, I feel he is wanting to hang around looking for me to provide a house, even though he refuses to give any money towards the child (as he said Im wealthier, so he reckons he should not pay. Is that how men behave these day? Would any women stand for this?
2007-01-07 00:47:03 · 25 answers · asked by oceanwaves 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To anyone who says I should have got married before getting pregnant, It is just as well I did not as he would be taking me and my child to the cleaners.
2007-01-07 00:53:16 · update #1
Dump the arrogant, childish, ignorant, insensitive, immature, selfish, concieted idiot while you've still got your property, money, child and self respect.
You need this prat like you need the pox - you can do better!
2007-01-07 00:51:00 · answer #1 · answered by The Wandering Blade 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I would not stand for this at all. a relationship is meant to be a partnership between two people who love each other. Don't even think about marrying this git as the only thing he wants from you is an cheap easy life. If you do go on to buy a house pick one that you want and make sure if its you whos paying for it that its in your name. If you do get rid of him (i hope you do) make sure that he pays towards his childs costs as its his responsibility as a father. and no thats not how all men behave today you just got a sneaky one.
2007-01-07 09:09:13 · answer #2 · answered by lizard 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Babe, you've said it yourself: You told him to get lost as you can buy a family home but with no real commitment he can sod off, and you can manage fine alone, and probably be happier. When you get over the beating yourself up because you didn't reach the happily ever after (with him) goal you set yourself, the relief of the lucky escape will kick in, and you and your child WILL live happily ever after in an environment much healthier than the one you're describing with him in it.
2007-01-10 17:52:30 · answer #3 · answered by Karen L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you but, no not all men are users. He sounds like a complete idiot and you were very wise not to marry him. Move on and make him pay child support...your child deserves it and he is legally bond to. If you don't need the cash now to raise the child put the child support in a college fund for the baby.
Move on and have a happy life without this loser! Good luck!
2007-01-07 09:05:24 · answer #4 · answered by EchoAnn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no this is not how men should act and you can't include all men in this it isn't fair. i would take him to court and make him pay child support for the principal of it and then not make him take his visitation. however so you really want to be bothered with this but head all the time, and not give yourself and sweet bundle of joy that headache. don't know dad and don't put him on the birth certificate and move on without him. only it does let him off the hook. so it just depends what you want to put your child through and what kind of questions you want to answer when your child gets older. and trust me one way or another there will be questions. so good luck.
2007-01-07 08:58:06 · answer #5 · answered by instig8tor682000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats why engagement is a neccessity, it gives you both time to work out problems. Its obvious this guy was looking to get married to a richer woman who would then keep him in a style to which he'd like to become accustomed! Lucky escape, enjoy your baby and unless you really need financial help from him don't worry about him. he's not ready to be a father at all!
2007-01-07 12:11:03 · answer #6 · answered by Ellie L 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get full custody of your kid and do have him pay child support. And yes unfortunately too many men do the " screw and dash" these days and don't want to take care of their responsibilities. He is a user and don't let him get away without ant support. Most likely he won't even visit the baby either. Another bum rears his ugly head :<
2007-01-07 09:01:09 · answer #7 · answered by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is sad that you came to know his intentions after you became pregnant. You can bring up this baby alone as you are financially independent. You did not get married to your b/f so you will have the legal rights on the child.Try to be happy and make your baby happy inside your tummy.
2007-01-07 09:00:54 · answer #8 · answered by rams 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have had a lucky escape - he was using you as a meal ticket!
You will be a great mom, and they baby will not need him as you seem like a very strong woman.
Good luck - he's the one who has lost out.
And yes, some women are stupid enough to put up with men like this.
2007-01-07 08:51:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He sounds a bit strange - when you are together why you be buying and selling houses separately? Don't get it.
For me - i would have to go it alone. Take him the CSA and then he will have to pay!!!
Of course - up to you how you take things but it is his child aswell -not just yours so therefore he should pay for it. I know its not about money but kids don't brings themselves up on fresh air unfortunately.
2007-01-07 10:24:01 · answer #10 · answered by peachy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some men are like this. They are con men and simply out for what they can get. He had the sex, now he wants your cash.
Dump him asap and look for a decent guy who will look after you rather than you look after him. I know thats a bit sexist but I'm old school.
2007-01-07 08:54:55 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋