My financee doesn't like my son-18yrs old and I get cold shoulder from him when my son is over .What do I do?

Answer 1

This doesn't sound good. Do you really want to go through this everytime your son is with you? Do you really think it won't get worse when you are married? Talk to your fiance and see what the root of the problem is. If he can't work through his issues I would consider moving on.

Answer 2

Talk over what the issue is, but be open and honest, because you may not like what you'll hear and he may not like saying it.

I married a widower and we had a long sit down because he had 5 kids and 4 of whom had been in and out of the house ... all were over 18. They seemed to take advantage of him and there were issues of missing items, an open door for friends even when no one was home, lack of help in the house when they're there and certainly none felt compelled to buy a container of milk or wash a dish at any time ... I won't go on. Well we had to have a long talk and come to some agreements before I'd put myself in the house with them. It doesn't solve everything but we all learned to get along ... it's 13 yrs now. Good luck to you

Answer 3

Hi there !!
Your fiancee does not like your 18 year old son ? Good bye guy would be my answer, because a child is forever, it is your responsibility, and do not think that because he is 18 now your responsibilities with him are going to change. He will always be your son.
Why does he not like him anyway?
Giving you the cold shoulder when your son is around should set off a red flag, sounds to me like he is going to cause major problems between you and your son if he sticks around.
As a mother I have always put my children before any man when I was divorced, they came first period, and I waited for them to be a certain age before I got involved with anyone else. I think you should sit down and analyze what is going on, sit down sweetie and meditate on this, deep within you know the answer.
You want to be with someone who compliments your life and your family, not add problems, separation, ect.. If he is to be a part of your life he should accept your teenage son, who is part of you, no matter what.
This is a new year, start is with your head up high, feeling good about yourself, start it by respecting yourself, and not allowing others to disrespect you,
a year to begin mending relationships with your son, if they have been affected by this human lump of fiancee that does not like him,
Sit down , meditate, speak to your fiancee about this, and if you see ( which in my opinion , I do not think he will change ) that he remains in the same negative position towards your son, tell him good bye and move on. Give yourself some time though, don' t jump into the first thing that show up.
love light and peace

Answer 4

♥ My mom used to always tell me, "You guys(me and my sister) come first! And if any man can't handle it, then he can leave." You're a mother, and that was the job you had before ANY other.

You can't let some man into the house that can't respect you enough to respect your children. My advice: Leave him. I know he's your fiance', but when you two get married, is he always going to give you the cold shoulder when your son's around? C'mon, your son will be around quite a bit! That just means that your fiance' will ignore you when he is.

Your fiance' sounds like he needs to grow up. Giving you the cold shoulder doesn't help the situation, just makes it worse. You need to tell your fiance' to either make a committment and try to be a good step-dad to your son, or he can go. My mom told my step-dad that he not only makes a committment to her, but he also makes a committment to us. She told him that he better try to get along with us and try to be a good step-dad.

You're the mom, and don't let your fiance' be a jerk to your kid 'cause that's wrong, but also remember that your kid should ALWAYS come first. You don't want your kid remembering that you cared more about some man that came in your life than him. ♥

Answer 5

Why does your fiance' not like your son? I find that out first!!! And, your future husband has to realize that this is your son and will always be your son. Do not drop your relationship with your son over a man....it is not worth it! And, if your fiance' can't make a change towards accepting your kid than you need to move on!!! If he really loves you, he will try to accept your kid!! You need to nip this in the bud now before you get married...because this situation can get worse once those vows are final!!!

Answer 6

My friend is having the same problem. However in her particular case, her son moved in with her and the boyfriend. Is it possible that your fiance is jealous of your relationship with your son? It is hard for some people to share their loved ones with others. I would talk to him and see where he is having a problem. My friend's son has been in and out of trouble. I think in her case that this may be what is causing the friction between them.

Answer 7

well talk to your son. maybe hes sad something to make your financee uneasy. or talk to your financee and ask why he doesn't talk when your son is around. just make sure your son comes first hes more important then any man.

Answer 8

Then tell ur financee to hit the road that is your son we are talking about!!!

Answer 9

sit down and talk to your fiance, and also your son, try to get them to work out any hard feelings for each other, do things together as a family type of unit and make sure both are working at it, you dont want to lose either of them so you have to get them working together, if they decide they dont want to be mates then ask them to at least be cival for your sake, Tears and the old "if you loved me as much as i think you do then...." always helps!

Good Luck!

Answer 10

You son is old enough to have his own life. You can marry your b/f or your son, your choice.