We used to always say I love you. We've had a ton of problems in the last year so I've sensed his feelings for me changed. I haven't had the satisfaction of feeling he wanted to reassure me that he wants to make things right by apologizing or by being completely being honest about everything. So I use to always ask my husband if he loved me anymore and how he feels about our relationship etc.. . We've stopped calling each other our pet names, I stopped caring to ask how he feels about me, and we haven't said I love you in a long time. He said it once last month, I was shocked and said it back but haven't said it since. I feel awkward because usually I would want to say it alot more but I am now ok with not saying it. Do you think he notices a change in me also and does it sound like I have lost interest? I'm just trying to check myself before thinking it's only him feeling differently.
2007-01-06 23:17:15 · 12 answers · asked by Kisses 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sounds to me like you both have changed. it is time to have a serious chat with one another to either get things back on track or to move on. It would be a shame to waste your lives on something that won't work. Better to make it work. or at least give it an honest try.
2007-01-06 23:41:18 · answer #1 · answered by J.M.C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your scenario doesn't say how long you have been together. I have gradually lost interest in my husband as a person. As time goes on, I see how little we have in common. I love him out of habit. Since I am not interested in another relationship, I am okay with the ho-hum. I guess I am comfortable with the security. My own experience is that people do change over time. Sometimes what happens is that we end up being our true selves instead of this person we put on to be with the person in the first place. Maybe your husband is showing his true colors and maybe it isn't what you were hoping for.
2007-01-07 07:27:37 · answer #2 · answered by pinkolives 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you both feel differently. Sounds like you both have a big communication problem and neither of you are working very hard to stay together. I find it really sad. It sounds like a series of events that have let to both of you just going through the motions. Could both of you just be feeding off the negative? Leading to further negative reactions of both of you?
What if both of you are really sorry about it all but are waiting for the other to make a move?
Ask youself this if tomorrow one of you were to find the other had a terminal disease and not long to live, what would you do to change the way you treat eachother?
I think both of you are heading towards a terminal condition in your marriage, seek counseling, work on growing together instead of growing apart.
2007-01-07 07:22:30 · answer #3 · answered by Wicked Good 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being so reactionary.
"I'll only say I love you if you do."
Just call him your pet name, say I love you once a day for the next month, stop wondering or sensing or thinking that he has changed, and ask him straight out.
You are addicted to drama, and you over-think every little aspect of things with him (based on your posts).
2007-01-07 10:15:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A marriage is not always going to be good...but you can't give up when a problem arises! I would suggest marriage counciling for the both of you! You guys are stuck in a rut and need to rekindle your marriage! A councilor can help you do that!!
2007-01-07 07:27:21 · answer #5 · answered by September Sweetie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Each person in a relationship has their part in any of the problems. If you want the situation to change, you can only make the changes within yourself. If it is not working, then change your situation, but you cannot change him. I think that you are both changing as the relationship is deteriorating.
2007-01-07 07:22:29 · answer #6 · answered by zaytox0724 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do u actually live together??? you two should spend some time being sweethearts to each other. do the nice things. take time out to pamper one or the other. dont let misunderstanding and hurt pride get int the way of your marriage, love. :)
2007-01-07 07:23:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
everyone has problems, and they deal with it in different way, but when you lose perspective of the marriage and the one you love, you may want to take a weekend with you hubby alone to try and rekindle you relationship, if this does not work then try couselling at your local church
2007-01-07 07:23:14 · answer #8 · answered by free2chat_tou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actions speak louder than words. Asking him all the time sounds annoying though.
2007-01-07 07:22:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you both have changed and do not show your afections much any more.
so why won't you be first to show your affection again (as you did it before - call him in pet names, tell him that you love him), and then watch what his responce will be.
godd luck :)
2007-01-07 07:23:55 · answer #10 · answered by Lunagirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋