I met my husband when i was 14 he was 20..he was the light of my life back then..he had alot of expirience wich bothered me but i stayed..as time went on it was every other week id hear that he was cheating on me with different people but i just couldnt believe it..and he talked his way out of it to by this time i had lost my virginity to him and would have done anything to keep him.to make a long...long story short here we are 7 years later and im misrable..i feel like ive sold myself short im 21 and a housewife..hes the only man ive ever been with i quit everything for him school,modeling and all my friends..he dont understand at all..but ill be grocrie shoppin and girls my age will walk by there cellphones cool clothes and i feel like im 80..and i am still hearing that hes cheating on me now in my heart i dont think he is but i think hes tried.I want so bad to not feel conrolled and to be free ive never done anything but would i regret leaving?he treats me good im just feelingdiffer
2007-01-06 22:46:51 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ent...i caint explain it to him he dont understand i feel so quilty like ive failed as a wife but theres apart of me that says girl youre 21 your not ready to be married...but when i am ready id want it to be him i guess i want my cake and eat it to lol...but if he is cheating on me thats what hes doing....i never had a life and he sees to it that i dont have one now..i thought about leaving this morning id have to find a job and leave my 80,000.00 home and find an apartment that dont sound real pleasent but WOULD I BE HAPPIER u think? i havent left my house in 3 months longer than 30 min by myself because he dont trust me..and ive never done nothing no drugs no sex no partys i feel so left out and scared all the kids i went to school with are out dating partying going to school i envy them so bad but all they talk about is wanting to get married to someone and that makes me wonder..cause i kno if i leave it will never be the same....do i have it all or do i have nothing?
2007-01-06 22:56:08 · update #1
the best thing for you to do is to try either to continue your school or to find a job and try to be a bit independ after that you can make your right choice .
if your happy now don't let some bad thoughts to ruin your life try to enjoy it
2007-01-06 22:53:59 · answer #1 · answered by Reasonable 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that your husband cheats you and above all there's no trust in your couple. I guess that you got married young and just want to prove to you and others that you've done the right choice and you have married the Mr. Right. However, he turned out to be a cheater. how cheap!!! Have you dicussed with him the reason why he cheats you with other women???
Ask yourself the way you feel and what you really want? Do not think about the house or what will people say but think about your future with him!!! How long will you endure this situation and deprive you of love, friendship, your passion for things that you are not able to do.
My advice to you if there is no way in making him be faithful to you. You better choose to live a life without him especially you do not have any engagement like a child.
In the first time, try to stay separately and live indifferently with him so that he can feel the loneliness and the feeling of being unloved and uncared. Then, he can perhaps come to you.
There is a saying that say :
"If you love someone, set it free
If it comes back, it's yours
If not, it never was"
Think over it my friend and may you make the right decision.
2007-01-06 23:46:50 · answer #2 · answered by sandy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa!! You need to step up and take control of your life. I met my husband when i was 15 and he was 25. (I know it sounds like a really big age difference) I was so in love i couldn't stand it. After we finally moved in together i was like a hermit. I didn't do anything with anyone. Talk on the phone unless it was to my parents or his. I only had a part time job so I wasn't out of the house a lot. One evening a bunch of the girls at work invited me to go out with them. So I talked to my husband and I went. I didn't get home until about 2 in the morning. (We went on a bunch of those haunted hay rides) My husband didn't talk to me for 2 days. This really upset me. Because he went out all the time and I never said a word. This was 4 to 5 years into our relationship. So I decided right then that i needed to take control. And I did. I went out and got a better job. I took care of everything. Babysitters, bills, ect. Now I didn't do this over night. It took a long time. I even started working out and I felt so much better about me. And felt great to know that I support 1/2 of this family and I don't need him. And he realized that too. And he treated me different. And now 3 years later we are going strong. We both try to stay equal in the relationship. This won't happen over night. Just take your time. Think about what you want to do and make a timeline of when you want to complete it. Don't ever think you've sold yourself short. The only thing that can change your life is you. What do you want out of life?? Set a goal and reach it. I wanted a good job and an education. So thats what i did. Worked full time and got and education. And i'm married with 2 kids and a stepson that is here half the time. You should go to college. Your a housewife now so you have the time. Nothing is more important than getting a better education. And you have a computer so you could take online classes too. If you didn't finish school ( I don't know if you did) go get your GED. Thats what I did. I was so in love a ready to get married. I left school. And looked at myself and was disgusted with the decions I made. The only one who can change it is you. Set some goals. If i can save a crumbleing marriage at 20 years old so can you.
Him not trusting you if bullcrap. If you have never gave him a reason not to trust you go out anyway. Piss on it. You are not his slave that sits home all day waiting for him to arrive home from work to be your prince. YUCK! Be your own woman. I would try to make my marriage work but that is completely up to you. Don't let yourself get dragged down by some man that thinks just because he has a job he's god. WRONG!! Do whats good for you and your kids. (if you have any) Make yourself happy
2007-01-06 23:18:35 · answer #3 · answered by Darkchylde 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you were at 14 is not what you are at 21.. aside from the fact that you could have filed statutory rape charges on him years ago its a bit late for that.
Look in your phone book there are shelters for women like you. You have start with a clean break so call them tell them your situation and how you need a place to hide out until you can get the divorce and hopefully move to another city. Unless you have relations that are willing to hide you but if he knows your family well he would find you. A restraining order is a good thing to get too.. and a laywer.
Hope there is no babies to bring with you & thank God that you have no social diseases from his wandering around.
Good luck!
2007-01-06 22:53:37 · answer #4 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aw hunni >>hugs<< thats not good ur feeling that way. udont need some one controlling ur life. and u shouldnt have given all that up but u cant change the past. u have to try and see wat u can do for ur self for the future, to try and make ur self happy. try and talk to ur husband. try and get out wit ur friends more, no one has eva said u cant b in a relationship but habe ur own free time too. if he has cheated on u before and u think he is cheating now, then he doesnt deserve u. but if he isnt cheating, and u guys do love each other more than anything. then i kno u guys an sit n talk about wats goin on and try n solve ur problems. ur not 80, ur only 21 and u can still enjoy ur life and be in a marriage. i dont think gettin married should be all about house, work and partners. u should be able to stil have fun. if u need, try and get some counsellin. either with ur husband or alone. they should be able to help you out bettr than any one else. try talkin to some close friends. or goin out to lunch with them. anything to make u feel a little btter evryday. good luck .
2007-01-06 22:52:37 · answer #5 · answered by MiSsY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to get away from him. I believe his is most likely cheating on you. Why in the world would you want to stay with someone who is cheating on you? You say he doesn't trust you? Well thats because he can't trust himself. Believe me, you will be just fine and you will be so glad that you took your life back. It will take time to get through and it will be hard, but just remember, you will be a much stronger person after this whole thing is behind you!! Good luck!
2007-01-06 23:26:30 · answer #6 · answered by zaytox0724 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were young and innocent. You arent too innocent anymore-you're wiser (I hope), although still young..you were modelling?? You must be gorgeous. Get out of the house, pursue a career, get studying, meet new people, find a new mate, make girlfriends too-best pals, dump this cheater like a hot potato. We all deserve happiness and its not too late for you. Remember your happiness lies only within you, but ur not alone. No one is going to come and get you out of this treachery...question..why are you with him again, if you cant answer this honestly, ur really fooling yourself..and being in love only is NOT a good answer?
2007-01-06 22:57:52 · answer #7 · answered by J1312 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray
2007-01-06 23:04:15 · answer #8 · answered by Ased Kooshan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋