Please help check if there are any grammar, spelling or phrases mistakes, I would really appreciate that cause this is really important to me. (just do something to make my story better) here:If you think you have spent the day profitably and want to take a rest, then why not go to the Love River to take a walk? When I was born, the Love River is still an unnoticeable sticky ditch, but now, it’s completely different. Not only the Love River is much beautiful than before, it also make Kaohsiung more colorful. You can hear the pleasant sound of musical instrument playing while tasting the delicious coffee along the riverside. Not only that, when you’re taking a walk, you might found out artists are busy helping passerbies to paint or some innocent little children picking flowers from the ground. This beautiful scene can appear more about Kaohsiung people’s temperament and enthusiasm.
2007-01-06 22:30:12 · 4 answers · asked by Little red riding hood 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
Ok, the grammar needs work, but as far as writing goes, this is pretty good, you are describing the surroundings.
I'll make changes inside brackets ( )
If you think you have spent the day profitably ("well" is actually better than "profitably")and want to take a rest, then why not go to the Love River to take a walk? When I was born, the Love River is still an unnoticeable sticky ditch (you mean was, but this sentence is sticky in that I had to read it twice to make sense of it. Try: When I was born, the Love River was just a muddy hole...), but now, it’s completely different (change the description of the Love River as you like, but remember that simple words are often very beautiful). Not only the Love River is much beautiful than before (You have the words in the wrong place: Not only IS the Love River much MORE beautiful than before...), it also make (makes instead of make) Kaohsiung more colorful. You can hear the pleasant sound of musical instrument (instruments, or you can say THE musical instrument) playing while tasting the delicious coffee along the riverside. Not only that, when you’re taking a walk, you might found (find not found) out artists are busy helping passerbies to paint (full stop here, new stentance for new topic) or some innocent little children picking flowers from the ground (Some innocent children ARE picking flowers from the ground.) This beautiful scene can appear more about Kaohsiung people’s temperament and enthusiasm. (Try: This beautiful scene shows more about Kaohsiung people's temperament and enthuisiasm than anything else)
Hope that helps.
2007-01-06 22:45:27 · answer #1 · answered by chicgirl639 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think you have spent the day profitably and want to take a rest then why not go to the Love River to take a walk? When I was born, the Love River was still an unnoticeable sticky ditch, but now, it’s completely different. Not only is the Love River much beautiful than before, it also makes Kaohsiung more colorful (colourful). You can hear the pleasant sound of musical instruments playing while tasting the delicious coffee along the riverside. Not only that, when you’re taking a walk, you might find artists that are busy helping passers-by to paint or some innocent little children picking flowers from the ground.
This beautiful scene can appear more about Kaohsiung people’s temperament and enthusiasm.
This beautiful scene shows a lot about the Kaohsiung people's temperament and enthusiasm.
2007-01-06 22:38:00 · answer #2 · answered by ghostbreeder 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEW VERSION:
If you think you have spent the day profitably, and want to take a rest, then why not go to the Love River to take a walk? When I was born, the Love River was still an unnoticeable sticky ditch, but now it’s completely different. Not only is the Love River more beautiful than before, it also makes Kaohsiung more colorful. You can hear the pleasant sound of musical instruments playing while tasting the delicious coffee along the riverside. Not only that, when you’re taking a walk, you might find artists that are busy helping passer-by’s to paint, or some innocent little children picking flowers from the ground. This beautiful scene can say more about Kaohsiung peoples' temperament and enthusiasm.
2007-01-06 22:37:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In N Z you doubtless have a few expressions which are not heard elsewhere, not even in Australia. I am southern English, but was in Oz for three years in the early 1970s. Visited N Z around Auckland for a few hours on the way home from Oz by sea. But then, what is "English" English or British English? As far as I am concerned the North (of England) is another country for language!
2016-05-23 02:33:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋