I am very curious as to what people think a open marriage is. I have been in a open marriage for years and it is great but it seems that most people have a very warped view on it. What do you think it means to be in a open marriage.
2007-01-06 21:51:25 · 26 answers · asked by sexyladyinak 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For us. It doesn't mean that we sleep with everyone who has a pulse. We are very selective and practice safe sex. We also do not cheat on each other. I know who he is with and he knows who I am with. We have a lot better communication than most people. What also makes it work is that we can sperate sex from love. THERE IS a difference. We are not having sex to reproduce, we are to old for that, we are having sex for fun. We also have sex with each other almost every day.
2007-01-06 21:55:52 · update #1
Open marriage means two people that are comfortable enough with themselves to avoid falling for the western obsession with sex which quite clearly stems from the Victorian Era and religion. It really bothers me that people think that marriage is defined by monogomy. I think this idea probably causes the high divorce rate as well as other domestic problems in the home. Personally, I'm young enough to dig monogamy though after a few years of serial monogamy since my generation allows for such so called deviance. Who know's what things will be like with my husband years from now.
2007-01-06 22:01:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 10⤊ 6⤋
An open marriage is one in which you agree to cheat upon one another!!!! No amount of wishing to deny that or extolling the benefits or fun changes that one bit. I think you are the one with a warped view here, as to right and wrong, moral and immoral.
Lady, you give new meaning to the term, stupid. My dear, cheating is not defined by your definition of the word. I can call an elephant a seagull, but it still wont fly over the white caps.
What is it with people such as yourself? You think that simply coming up with your own definitions changes things? You both obviously have to lie to yourselves in order to not feel like what you both are, that would be cheating, whorish people who are simply finding ways to be comfortable in being such.
I would love to see what your wedding vows said. I promise to forsake all others, except for Bob on Tuesdays and Frank on Fridays. Deary, cheating isnt cheating because you dont know about it or would not approve. It is the act of being intimate with someone else.
And we wonder why this country is in the shape it is today. This question and the reasonings offered with it are a perfect example.
2007-01-07 06:21:30 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 6⤊ 2⤋
I was in a marriage and my husband thought it was ok to cheat and I felt he didn't take our vows seriously so I divorced him and now married to the man of my dreams and he nor I would think to cheat on each other. But If that (an open relationship) is the way it was for you and you know you and he both have each others heart and it wont be given to anyone else (the reason you got married) I think you should keep it up. It seems to work for you both. I on the other hand am to jealous for that and even if we were we have kids and I don't think it is right. The divorce rate is so high now that if this keeps you together and your both not getting hurt than you go girl....
2007-01-07 06:12:59 · answer #3 · answered by parentsofbadmeandt 2 · 5⤊ 3⤋
Well, there are people who can separate it, there are those who can't. I'm curious to see how LONG these marriages last, but I suppose that has yet to be seen.
Cause yes open marriage means you both have that 'companionship' and bond for each other, but for the sake of your sexual appetite will run around and have sex with other people, not for love, but cause you wanna have 'fun.'
I understand that concept, and i'm assuming that when you become older, and the whole fun sex thing becomes cliche, what then? I can put this comparison to pornstars like Jenna Jameson, her husband solely accepted the fact she messed with all those dudes, and who know they probably have an open relationship themselves.
PERSONALLY, I don't need the thrill of screwing all these other people for fun. I like monogamy, i'll be too jealous to have some dude that might please my wife better than me sexually if i had a relationship like that. Then god forbid one of her 'sex toys' decides to want a relationship, and suddenly he connects better than me, and next thing you know that oh so wonderful open relationship is dropped like a bad habit.
THEN, the sex for me is so much better than casual sex. I did the whole casual sex thing for a while, it SUCKED....i coudlnt' get off, every woman was different and i had to figure out what the hell to do to one get mine, and probably once or twice keep up with her. But then with my fiance, someone i truly love, and who was a virgin before she met me i've been FULLY satisfied with sex....ALL the time. It's more fun to learn how to please each other more together because you KNOW it's real and there's no self-concious crap about "damn is she feelin it? Am i too big/small? Does she have a disease? F*ck I can't c*m is she gonna feel insecure? With my baby I never have to worry about that crap cause we satisfy each other fully, and that's WAY more fun than doin someone you don't know who could easily cause you unnecessary problems.
SO ANYWAY, yea i understand your whole open marriage thing, if you can seriously do that great, like i said i'm curious to see how long it will last. But as for me and many others....i'm completely satisfied with just one...for the rest of my life.
2007-01-07 06:16:50 · answer #4 · answered by Dennis 6 · 5⤊ 3⤋
Well, I've always thought that an "open marriage" basically is an arrangement where the two people are in a committed relationship, but have a mutual agreement to be able to pursue other sexual partners. I actually don't think that the idea itself is so bad; it probably works quite well for the people with the right mindset. But I personally would be wary of such arrangement, becuase while I would trust my own ability to be "in control" of my emotions when engaging with other partners, I would always be worried that my significant other might become too involved with someone else - to the point where it would threaten our own relationship. The mere fact that he might be having sex with someone else wouldn't bother me so much, but the possibility that he could get too emotionally attached to another person would make me uncomfortable.
2007-01-07 06:20:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 4⤋
For me personally, I don't believe in an open marriage. Why get married if you are still going to have sex with other people?
2007-01-07 09:52:08 · answer #6 · answered by younglady7826 4 · 6⤊ 2⤋
This is in no way a "religious" answer, it's more of a common sense answer.
You marry someone, you have sworn to be with that person and that person only for the rest of your life (until divorce happens, anyway). If you are physically with other people while you are married, then....why bother being married? Isn't that the whole point of being married?
2007-01-07 05:55:22 · answer #7 · answered by Detroit Diva 3 · 7⤊ 1⤋
It wont last, your marriage that is..if you continue this destruction of your vows. People who engage in "open marriage" or swinging, end up divorced about 96% of the time...
My view on it is not warped, your view of marriage is warped...
2007-01-07 06:22:01 · answer #8 · answered by Mommadog 6 · 6⤊ 2⤋
To me an open marriage means " Permission to Cheat"
2007-01-07 06:19:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 3⤋
If the relationship is not exclusive, and you get 'needs' satisfied elsewhere, then why take vows and be married?
Not really a marriage if its 'open', is it?
2007-01-07 05:55:08 · answer #10 · answered by Tough Love 5 · 7⤊ 1⤋