how do i get it across that i also have needs he says he cares but than same crap next time I am starting to just belive the wonderful man i married and fantastic lover has just turned into a selfish ..
2007-01-06 20:36:44 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are right!!
Any time a man wants 'only' oral sex there is DEFINATELY' a
serious problem dearie.
Selfish is only the tip of the iceburg, there's lots more going on than just selfishness.
CONTROL is the paramount issue here.
He's NOT at all concerned for your sexual needs, and it's proof
positive that he wants sex 'his' way.
Now if you cannot see 'control' in this situation then you need to stand back and take a long, hard look at the full picture.
He sounds more like an immature teen and not a commited husband.
Does he love you? Yes, in his own 'selfish' way, which really isn't love at all!!
If you haven't talked to him about this, now's the time to do so!
And the first question I'd ask him is 'what made him desire oral sex every time'.
Because I think I'd be quite suspicious if he never used to be this way.
2007-01-06 22:51:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he really is too tired like if he works a lot, is older or experiencing depression or anxiety, relationship problems ect. (because it's not true that men never lose interest in sex although cheating may be a possibility) then the simply fact is that recieving oral sex is a lot less work than having sex unless you go on top and stay on top and he can just lie there. You're needs have put the idea of sexual pleasure in his mind and he's too tired to do anything else, but since you are willing to give him oral sex why say no? Try to find the reason as to why he is too tired for sex and stop giving him so much oral sex without return.
2007-01-06 20:46:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm with you on this. I don't know what we have to do but it sure does bug the heck out of me. I joke with him and tell him that I have to find a replacement when he doesn't want to do anything for me. He always asks me if I can take a rain check. So when I do get tough he does what I say. I usually let him go without touching and I tell him to forget oral because I will do as much as he does. So he does put a little extra effort into it but I think it will have to change or I will change it. Maybe counseling would work.?
2007-01-06 20:46:13 · answer #3 · answered by VC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there...this is not fair on you .....you are right you do have needs and this is where you both have to sit down and talk about things ......explain to him that what you love about him and how you love it when he makes love to you ......do not use the sex word you are wamnting to get his attention .......you could have this chat with him in bed ....start it by saying that you are thinking about going to anne summers ......he is bound to know abvout that shop ......and im sure that will start the talking ......you both need to talk this thing through ......and you never know if you do visit that shop well you could come up with a few different ways of getting his attention .......and dont worry about going in all the staff in there are happy to chat with you about any of there products and there is some humour in there so that you can relax.....all the staff are so nice ,......hope this helps you both out ....take care of each other xx
2007-01-06 21:34:14 · answer #4 · answered by a parent hows been there !! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly, if he's a classic guy and loves you slightly, definetly he shouldn't tension you doing this atleast while he's conscious which you have joint soreness subject. besides, visit a physician jointly and after consultation, confer with him that his request of oral intercourse particularly bothers your joint pains, enable him comprehend and that i'm hoping he will comprehend. you additionally can help him by potential of employing a extra perfect place and giving him what he needs. i do no longer see that for oral intercourse you are able to desire to positioned tension on your joints. persist with a extra perfect place, in which you're gentle.
2016-11-27 01:31:03 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What goes on in your bedroom should have been discussed BEFORE you got married. At that time you would have at least been better informed and might not have gotten into the marriage in the first place. Your's is one of the many reasons that COMMUNICATION is all important in relationships.
2007-01-06 20:45:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How much time since you have been married...If its few years then probably he is just trying to avoid you...possible he may have the feeling that he can't satisfy you.
You shall get professional help...ie doctors etc. They can easily fix this up for both of you.
Have fun and best of luck...
2007-01-06 21:16:55 · answer #7 · answered by GS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds lazy to me. My boyfriend pulls crap like that..but he's always ready to do it in the morning on the weekends when he VERY WELL KNOWS that it is life-threatening to wake me up.
2007-01-06 20:42:27 · answer #8 · answered by concretebrunette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to see his doctor. You have to make sure it is not medical which includes mental issues. Then get him and yourself to counseling. Marriage without complete openingness will not last.
Good luck
2007-01-06 21:49:11 · answer #9 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say that but when a man is usually too tired for sex means he already had it and if not with u then with someone else
2007-01-06 20:41:35 · answer #10 · answered by stang girl 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋