i have been with my DH 16 years and there is a 15 year difference between us. The age difference didn't matter to me when I was 19 and he was 36, but in the past couple of years, I feel more and more like it does matter... We have kids together and I do love him, so divorce is pretty much out of the question for now- how do I overcome these feelings or handle them? Talking to him, he just kind of brushes off my feelings about it or doesn't understand. I didn't just marry an older man, he married a younger woman ya know?
2007-01-06 20:15:47 · 9 answers · asked by Yaya 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just a note to those that say I am looking for a scapegoat... I am not. I am the breadwinner in the household and so our roles are quite reversed and while I am feeling a bit resentful about this, it's the lack of common interests that I am dealing with now (where we shared more before) than anything else. He isn't an old fart and I am not looking elsewhere.
2007-01-06 21:14:53 · update #1
It doesn't matter. You didn't marry an older man, you married the man you love. There's nothing to talk about. If this was really a cause for concern you would have considered it before marriage. I think there is probably something else going on with you and you are looking for a scapegoat. It doesn't sound to me like you have a good reason other than that.
2007-01-06 20:32:55 · answer #1 · answered by zimmiesgrl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The age difference shouldn't matter now if you two are still married. Why even bring up this issue with him if you already spent 16 years with him?
You had kids together, you love him still the same. If he doesn't seem this is a problem then you need to just let it go. Don't make it an issue for the both of you, because that's when you will start having problems! You can overcome the feelings by not thinking about it. Think about the love that you both are sharing now! (smile)
Age doesn't matter, it is the love that is important and how much you give to one another. And yes you did marry an older man, you said, "Yes" to him. No wonder he doesn't want to talk about it, he probably thinks you are going bonkers! (smile)
2007-01-07 04:33:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it's all ways the same ..looking to blame someone else when you want to get out of a marriage ..this is how it starts ..when you was 19 you wasn't a baby ..you knew better ..you married a older guy .. it takes two to tango..
Any fool could have told you at the time that when you reach 35 and in your prime he will be 50 year old looking like a senile old fart ..you both made a mistake with the age difference ..but there is no reason why you can't dress him in fashion clothing ,and have his hair sorted .if he has any now...a little artificial colouring..would go a long way in appearances ...
As for his other duties as a husband ..well that is another topic..good luck
2007-01-07 04:38:09 · answer #3 · answered by JJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't mention how old you are now, but the note at the end of your question says a little bit. You probably are quite younger than him and his likes and dislikes over the years have changed considerably as his age did and now it is totally different because you probably are more active than he. With out coming to a false conclusion I say if you love him and you do not want to divorce him then go to the library and check out a book on relationsips that deal with sort of issue and you will probably find a better answer there.
2007-01-07 05:26:38 · answer #4 · answered by yutrppn45 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you didn't marry an older man and he didn't marry a younger woman. You married a man who just so happened to be older. I don't think age is the problem here. It seems you've lost interest in your husband and in your relationship and are using age as a mask. Good luck with that.
2007-01-07 04:20:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did you deal with it when you were younger? So he's 51 and your 34 he's slowing down and your starting to perk up reaching your sexual peak and his is diminishing, (I'm 54) and I couldn't keep up with a 34 yo,,, like to try but after the first week I'd die.
good question. Some things you need to start planning for and preparing yourself for. your career and his. He is going to retire in 10 to 15 years where will your career be you need to think where your likes and his likes are different and find a medium for both, keeping him active and healthy is good for both of you he will be more energetic and live younger than his years. sit down and plan the next 30 years you will have to make adjustment but it you plan for them they won't seem overwhelming. Good luck
2007-01-07 04:31:47 · answer #6 · answered by S h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its strange u didnt think about the age difference before.its ur husband sice 16yrs!u sure its only this?what exactly bother u most from this problem?u say u love him,so i dont see the problem..
2007-01-07 05:13:13 · answer #7 · answered by simona 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said: “Talking to him, he just kind of brushes off my feelings about it or doesn't understand.” Well, what do you expect him to do? He can’t become younger.
2007-01-07 05:08:05 · answer #8 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just a man..that is what causes his "stand-offishness." Just let him know how you feel, and remember older men are sexy (I like em too) :)
2007-01-07 04:20:26 · answer #9 · answered by next PO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋