i have put similar quastions before too, but m feeling so lonely at d moment and there is nobody i can talk to, so i m writing here. m married for the last 10 months. my husband is nice...i have moved to a new city after marriage tht is 1500km away. i have left all my family and frends behind. & now m totally lonely here. m also unable to get a good job here. so all day m at home. cooking looking after my husbands family. i have always been a career girl. now m lost, my husband has lots of freinds so he spends a lot of time with them, if not alone with them then with me along..he takes me along say 20% of the time.even calling my friends or family is not easy coz calling long distance does take a lot of money.and i kno ppl will say make new frends, but it aint easy. i dont make freinds easily, i have to kno a person for a few years before i can b real friends. moreover this city has a diff language &i dont understand a word. can any1 understand how i feel? can sum1 help witout judging?
2007-01-06 19:54:07 · 22 answers · asked by danny's mom 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
There are a couple things you NEED to do.
1. Have a heart to heart with hubby. The 2 of you entered into a commitment to each other. Lives alwasy have adjustments after marriage. You have sacrificed your comfort zone to be with him where he is. You need to explain to him how much you love him and that is why you followed him. BUT.... in doing so, you are sooo lonely and depressed (yes, you ARE depressed...). You need him to compromise more for the commitment he made to you, as well. Is he willing to cut down on the out-of-work contact with friends if it soes not involve you? Usually, a married couple changes their previous "friend-hangin'" habits to mostly including each other. An occasional outing with friends shouldn't be a problem... but it shouldn't be an occasional outing with the SPOUSE.... (There may be some maturing that needs to happen, but if you don't talk to him, he will not realize how sad he is making you in this respect.)
2. There are FREE online services that allow people to talk to each other around the world. We have a daughter out of state that can not currently afford a phone. (Just had a baby and hubby changed jobs... was one of the sacrifices they made....) We have all signed up for Google Voice. It is AWESOME!!! The computer RINGS, and we can run to the computer and here each other's voices... and even send pictures instantly back and forth!
Sign up for one of these services and send invitations to all your friends and family! Stay connected!!! It's healthy! ; )
3. This may sound trite, but if there is somewhere you can volunteer; you will find MUCH fulfillment. (Children's hospital or nursing home... reading to patients... ) They will appreciate your time and effort, you will forget about your problems for a bit while you are serving them, and you will find that you wouldn't want to trade places with them and are happy to bring a little bit of joy to them in their loneliness and sorrow.
2007-01-06 20:27:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can feel your problem and be assured that this is not a problem of yours but the society in total.
You must be having some hobbies or interest? Say, writing, reading, painting, singing etc, so tell your husband to engage a tutor so that you can learn more on it or if you are confident then, do it on your own.
Apply for jobs also and tell your husband that you want to work, at least part time if not full time.
Try to find good neighbours and make friendship.
Most importantly you have to open and expose to the world that you have talent.
2007-01-06 20:25:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
May seem cliche but Jesus is around 24/7 and He doesn't judge. At least not in the same way most Christians do. Other than that I would say volunteer for some good cause. You'll at least meet new people. Also, cultivate love.
2007-01-06 19:57:20 · answer #3 · answered by Fool 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I can help. Since you dont work you might look into organizations in your city you can join, like clubs or volunteer work. You will end up meeting new people and maybe slowly find a few friends. The newspaper should list activities that go on in your city, usually it lists them one day out of the week.
2007-01-06 19:56:55 · answer #4 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I answered you before, but you need to demand a little more time for yourself and go do things that you like to do. I would suggest volunteering or going to a church. A middle size church less than 500 members and more than 150 will help you get out and make contact with friendly people. They have lots of support at church and would love to have you participate. Remember they are just people too.
2007-01-06 19:59:08 · answer #5 · answered by Future Citizen of Forvik 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you are really that lonely you have a choice not to be. Think about how you felt before you had met or were married to your husband. Were you happy? If you were, leave your husband and go back to your old life. It might be hard at first, but after a while you will be happy again because you will be back with all your old friends. It will be much better for you, i think from what you are saying.
2007-01-06 19:58:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
your husband should dump his stupid useless firneds. u made a sacrifice of moving into another city and he has to make sacrifice and spend more time with u. why does he need those friends anyway? why doesn't he spend time with u instead? especially if he knows how lonely u re? honey, u have tongue, use it. tell him u re lonely and want him to spend more time with u. if he refuses maybe he isn't that nice as u think on the first place. peace. take my compassion
2007-01-06 19:59:34 · answer #7 · answered by jacky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could try spending a bit of time learning the language, or looking into clubs and groups that meet somewhere in your city.
2007-01-06 19:56:47 · answer #8 · answered by Karma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you could take up a hobby and make a new friend or two with the same interest as you - that would break the ice a little so you could get to know each other
i'm sorry about your being lonely :(
2007-01-06 19:56:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-30 05:34:37 · answer #10 · answered by arrocha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋