Why most women love bad men only?

Question

I have seen many cases. Women love to hang out with bad men. When I say bad men mean, they love to cheat, lie and disturb women. How about good men who respect women? Do women really find them too boring?

Answer 1

I'm so very glad that the guys answering this question are respectful and knowledgable. It's frustrating when I see this kind of question, and all the guys say are things like "All women are stupid and don't acknowledge good guys" or "This happened to me, so it must be true for everyone". Thank you so much for not being ignorant, guys!

That much said, the same points have already been noted, but I'll say them again anyway.

1) Most women don't realize when they get into a relationship that the guy is a jerk. We can't do background checks, how are we supposed to know how he'll act? Of course, clothing and body language can be a big hint, but that doesn't demonstrate the truth in all cases.

2) Younger girls (13-24) tend to want a more 'adventurous' guy, like the guys in the movies. Assuming that all women will be like this is a big mistake. With that attitude, you'd never find a decent woman. It's sad to say, but some women are overdramatic, and some women are immature and have a hard time accepting the fact that men are not able to be changed. Don't blame these flaws on womanhood. I don't blame guys that are asses on the fact that they're a guy, just on the way they were raised or the people they associate with.

3) I don't know many ladies at all anymore. It's true, we shouldn't expect you to be gentlemen, as you guys don't honestly expect us to act like ladies. All we ask is that you treat us with dignity and respect, as I try to do to everyone I know.

Don't blame all of these problems on feminism, though. That's a low blow. Granted, there are some psychotic women (and a few men) who are misandrists, don't assume that the only outcome of feminism was the downfall of man.

Anyway! Now that I've addressed the issues I've seen in responses, I'll answer the original question: Yes, gentlemen can be too boring. Don't run out and be a conceited asshole, though. Proper gentlemen are just as boring as sophisticated ladies. Most girls aren't sophisticated ladies anymore. Now, I'm not saying they're all trashy or slutty, but it really is hard to find a lady that acts in the fashion that women traditionally did before the feminist movement, and I'm quite glad they don't. Men have changed too, like you said, becoming less of a gentleman. It was to be expected, though. I don't think the original feminists wanted something like "We want our rights and freedoms, but we want you to still treat us like we are inferior." Because in my point of view, it is treating us if we were inferior. Being treated kindly and with respect are very different from demonstrating features of a gentlemen, like women used to be treated. I think you've failed to realize that there aren't just two extremes: violent, raging assheads and chivalrous gentlemen. You can be somewhere in the middle, as most guys are.

Okay.. long rant, but to sum it up: treat us kindly, not as feeble, needy, and fragile creatures. Don't treat us like trash, and you will get respect and admiration. You don't have to be a knight to do that.

Answer 2

It is possible and common for women to fall in love with a complete jerk. The human race would have ceased to exist thousands of years ago if this weren't the case.

My ex husband was a complete jerk. When I was 18, I thought he had potential. I was too optimistic and I assumed all he really needed was the love from a good woman.

Well, I spent 14 years trying to fix him. A complete waste of my time. If I would have been smart, I would have went to college instead of getting married and learned how to fix these basket cases. I'd be a rich woman by now.

Yes, people in general want reliable, respectful, attentive, considerate, predictable partners. I did too. I thought I could make him that way. Big misconception.

The "nice guy vs. bad boy" debate is a bit general. If it's broken down a little farther into behaviors like introvert vs. extrovert or bold vs. reserved it's easier to understand. It depends on the individuals involved. Also, some women have no idea the person they are dating are liars or cheaters. Dating is just comparison shopping for the best partner. It's a learning experience.

Answer 3

I'm not sure either.. but adding comment to "some guy"... most girls prefer to hang out with bad men in the beginning... eventually they realize it... they feel guilty, getting divorce and marrying better men. Since better men will at least try to make some more money... the men will leave their houses and families more often... some men in this time cheating (because they are sick being perceived the good guys: Like Ned Flanders from the Simpsons), and some are not... the women realize it.. they feel sad and ask for divorce with huge compensation and child support right so they can get tax deduction. now, because they have so much money, the girls can have more "worse" bad men who never work... they may think like this because they're disapointed with the good guys and the girls also think they can dump the worse men anytime because they have more money now. I don't know why I wrote this, but I guess I'm confused too.. (no offense to any girl out there).

Answer 4

A lot of times, it comes down to the difference between a woman's rational mind (that "should" do this and "shouldn't" do that... who wants to marry a nice, wealthy man and have well-behaved children) and the deepest, most instinctive part of her being (that does what it wants with no apologies... who wants the seething, unpredictable pleasures only available from a man she can never control). There's a book called Bad Boys, I forget the author's name, but it's worth a read for more detailed information.

But you can be both respectful and attractive... and you need never be abusive to have women fawning over you (consider Don Juan... there are many flavors of unpredictability).

If you want a good basis upon which to understand the underlying theory (it isn't as boring as it sounds), read The Selfish Gene and Sperm Wars. Both intriguing and almost shockingly different from we're told as kids.

Hope that helps a bit.

Answer 5

I suppose that some woman might choose that sort of guy because they feel it offers excitement, challenge and unpredictability. Although, when a woman continues in such an affair, her self-esteem pluments because the thrill wears off and the reality of the situation begins to become more apparent. She begins to realize that she can not capture the heart of the "bad man" and she can not change him. Often times this choice in men is a product of youth and testing ones sexuality, or simply falling into the wrong situation. When this sort of woman matures, given that she has self-respect, she will start to look for men who are more stable and look for attributes in a man which would allow for building a more long lasting, healthy relationship. Another reason why a woman might choose this sort of man is because that is the sort of man she saw in her father. Without necessarily realizing it, we often imitate what we saw with our parents. One has to be quite aware in order to alter ones choices so that one doesn't repeat what one has seen.

If you are one of the "good guys", take pride in who you are. Time is on your side and eventually, you will find the right woman for you. One who will respect you and love you for who you are. As the saying goes, for every pot, there is a cover. My life experience has shown me that it is true. Better yet, my personal experience has taught me that there is more than one compatible person out there for you.

Answer 6

It basically comes down to the fact that us "nice guys" are doomed by hollywood.

The picture of attractiveness to a lot of women has been altered by fantasy, and (sorry to say it ladies) a lot of women are drama queens and want to deal with the constant trouble that comes with a "bad man", particularly those who have yet to mature.

Women want a man like James Bond, but they fail to realize often times that a man like that DOES NOT EXIST.

So, hang in there brother. Keep an eye out for the smart girls, they are more often than not impervious to the stupidity of hollywood and drama queens. They come around for the nice guys every once in a while. Continue to be respectful, continue to be nice, and eventually you will find one of those women.

Answer 7

Most women, like men, are immature when it comes to relationships. It's in our DNA to do what we want, not what we should. They eventually come around.

Answer 8

No. I actually prefer good men who are very respectful!!!! They are not boring but good to me! n

Answer 9

It's rebellion to her parents and she thinks she can change him.

Answer 10

yes they do find them boring because then it feels arkward when the lady (savage....lol) wants to b naughty in bed .