my ol man and I opened our house up to a friend who needed a place to stay for a while about the end of september. We were under the impression that she was going to look for a job so she could afford her own place. during this time she has only looked at one place only to not have any luck and has not looked else where. she gets child support for her son who is with her mother and that is what she pays us a meer $50 a week to stay here. She has some gross habits that we can no longer stand like her eating six or seven meals by the end of the evening and alwys running the electric up. one day i found some of my personal items in with hers and she lied about it . my husband and i can not have a liar or a thief in our home but she has been a good friend for years and helped me out SO much in the past i hate to be mean but she cant stay here anymor ebut also has no where to go please help me
2007-01-06 19:03:15 · 11 answers · asked by kimberly B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
oohhh sticky law wise anyway. you might want to check with housing court before you put her out. if she is smart she will go to the precint and tell them and you will be in trouble. but meanwhile this is what i would do. i would tell her today that she has to leave and go live with her mother because she hasn't look for a job and that you and your husband are not about to start taking care of adults and secondly tell her that you are gonna talk to your accountant regarding her being claim as a dependent since you are taking care of her. (look into that by the way :)
and also inform her that she should go in a shelter and get the help she needs. fuccck her feelings. she is a freeloading SLOB! HMMM I wonder why her mom won't take her in???? email me direct if you need to vent. i had a sponge live with me once and i had to wind up going to the precinct and have her arrested! she stole things out of my house and ran away. i took her in when her husband kicked her out. i know the feeling. she was lazy not looking for work, running up my damn phone bill etc.
2007-01-06 19:10:47 · answer #1 · answered by renosgirl2006 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First let me say that when a situation gets uncomfortable, very often we get super angry at little stuff to justify - and frankly, empower us - to make a change. If you have a long and lovely history with this person, take that part out of the equation. The bottom line is that she has worn out her welcome and you need for her to go. No justification or explanation needed. You need that space back. End of story.
Let me ask you, has she done this to other people too? Has she ever lived on her own? If she has, then she is sopping up a break and won't like it but will likely respond to a reasonable deadline. If you need an excuse, I would tell her that there is talk of a family member coming to stay (or you need a home office or are thinking about a baby) and you really need that room back. So you have until 3/1/07 to move. You would also be doing yourself a favor if you save up the rent she pays until then and give it back to her if she needs a security deposit. If you say it is a meer $50, maybe it is a small price to pay to ensure she gets out - and looks like a really nice gesture if you want to save the friendship.
If she has not lived on her own you are in for drama I am afraid - but you simply must be strong and be prepared to lose the friend in the end. That is your home and if she can't respect that, then she is not a friend and should leave. If you have nothing signed, I wonder if you can have removed if need be. When she is forced she will find a new situation. If she is like the friend who did this to me, she always lands on her feet and will never give you anythng but grief.
Peace!
2007-01-06 19:15:35 · answer #2 · answered by carole 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, well maybe you wouldnt have to kick her out just yet. dont move too fast because if she has done a lot for you then maybe you should sacrifice a few things for her too like letting her stay with you for just a while. but you have to talk to her, take her aside and tell her that it's not only you living in the house and that it's also your husband living there too, and that if it was only you, you'd totally let her stay with you but it's not only you. just ask her to stop her gross habits and the lying. help her look for a job and another place to stay. and thank her for everything she has done for you, and that you wish you could do the same for her too. then after you two have found her a job and place to stay give her a deadline of when she has to leave.
2007-01-06 19:16:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have no obligation to her especially if she is lying and taking your things, running up the electric bill, eating 7 meals a day, etc.
I would give her 15 -30 days notice and tell her that her staying there is causing a strain on your relationship with your husband.
In other words, tell her to put an egg in her shoe and BEAT IT !!
2007-01-06 19:07:29 · answer #4 · answered by ValleyR 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to her and talk ask her what she planes for the future. That you really care about her and want to help her, but you and your boyfriend need some personal space and you think it is time for her to move forward. Try to encourage her and be really positive so that the talk will end in a positive way not negative. It is great to help people out but it isn't OK to be used. Good luck!
2007-01-06 19:09:44 · answer #5 · answered by girlio33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not just about it you, this involves your husband also. She may have been a friend but now shes taking advantage. Tell her your husband wants her to leave, that you cannot afford to support a 3rd person.
If you dont learn to speak up people will take advantage of you and she obviously doesnt give a crap about your feelings or how this is affecting you.
2007-01-06 19:06:38 · answer #6 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her she has to find another place and give her a time limit. You and your husband need your home back. I've also tried to "help" out friends by letting them stay with me and it always turns out badly ..for me.
Don't jeopardize your sanity or you and your husbands privacy.
Don't worry about it just do it. You won't regret it.
Take back the home front... :)
2007-01-06 19:08:30 · answer #7 · answered by Jan J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know that you can't afford to have her stay after such and such date, as much as you'd like to be able to. Give her some time to prepare, but follow through in the end.
2007-01-06 19:06:09 · answer #8 · answered by Meridianhawk42 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just explain that it is a new year, and you and hubby decided it is time to get your home to yourself.
If you rent, it would even be easier, tell her the landlord is complaining about an extra person living there.
M
2007-01-06 19:06:23 · answer #9 · answered by maamu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell its not working out and she has lets say two weeks to find a new place...
2007-01-06 19:25:38 · answer #10 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋