I went to medation for my divorce, I feel like I settled more than I should have. Anyone else have this problem? We have Joint Custody but it seems like he got the better end of the deal! Help I am so depressed.
2007-01-06 18:39:30 · 13 answers · asked by betty_htch 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Everything is pretty much split down the middle, but he got a more days in the month than me and no one has to pay child support. I just feel like I should have fought harder!
2007-01-06 19:05:31 · update #1
You went to mediation? That's not the final part of the divorce. That only means you met a court appointed worker to help you make arrangements before you actually go to court. I do believe you have a right to change your mind once you go into court. You don't have to settle for what was decided with the mediator..you have a right to not agree with it. I really think you need to get a lawyer to represent you when you go to court. Don't let him get more days than you or he will be able to take you back to court and ask for child support because he has more time with the kids. It's all based on how much custody you have with your children. It makes a huge difference how much time you have with your kids. One day a week cuts your support or adds to it by 30%. I know I did the same thing and I regret it now. And finally, make sure you have the right to claim your kid(s) on your income tax. Get a good lawyer one that's aggressive and fights for you. I know it's overwhelming I've been there. If I only knew then what I know now I would have done things much different. Also, make sure he has to keep the kids on his medical insurance. Joint custody is ok as long as you have more physical time with them. Trust me he may act all nice and willing now but later he'll turn on you like a snake, especially if he has a new honey in his life.
good luck!
2007-01-06 19:32:33 · answer #1 · answered by one_daytripper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea well it's been almost 3 years for me and am still depressed over it--feel like I failed my kids and life--worse than a death so the psychologists say--I believe it. Men always get the better deal financially--as they are paying less in support than to run a household--but the woman gain more emotionally as they usually have there kids everyday and are there for them except for a few days a month. Divorce is hard for everyone-neither the man or woman gains--hopefully the kids are okay. I settled for much less than I should have but things get so nasty--you can't go back.
2007-01-06 18:58:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not about who gets the better end of the deal .Its about whats best 4 the kids.Remember that .U didn't have to settle 4 joint custody but you did.
2007-01-06 18:57:32 · answer #3 · answered by lilly l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your hardly divulging enough information to make any kind of analysis,however if you are feeling depressed try to remember it is only a feeling that will pass. As far as him getting the better deal its not about you,it is about the child and he is the one who got the right deal.he or she will need dad in their life and even if the marraige didnt work dont allow that to cuase a failure in the ability to have the child grow up with a mother and a father,work together for the child not your own feelings.
2007-01-06 18:47:45 · answer #4 · answered by realestate_leader 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off, is it all settled and indisputable?
if it is, which probs cuz you're depressed then I'd say see what else you can do about it...don't just stress bout it, take action and fight fight fight fight fight for those kids...I know that's what you're really stressin bout...
If all else fails you will just have to accept then and possibly learn from this error? I know it's easy to say , I haven't had to fight for custody of my kids yet thankfully, but I know a thing or two bout not standin up for my rights or being manipulated....
Be sure you get some help other than on here, your kid(s) need you now more than ever, you're their mother and no matter how much time they get with dad you're still the one they're going to look to most for direction in life, it's just that simple....so in taking good care of yourself you will be doing them a favor..
good luck hun, I know this is just words but I hope you do alright!
kisses n hugs
2007-01-06 18:50:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it was the wise "Pumba" who said, "You have to put your past behind you."
You can not live your entire life being held back by a relationship or the subsequent divorce.
He MAY have gotten the better part of the divorce. So what? You have your freedom again, and you have a long life ahead of you. Please make the best of it! If you live in the past, you will just drag your future through the mud before it even happens. Life goes on...
2007-01-06 18:44:48 · answer #6 · answered by Sparky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I promise, as long as you got joint custody you won't regret it. My ex wife totally screwed me and within a few months it was over and everything was fine. Life goes on. It's an old saying, but what can I say? We all make mistakes and have to live with them. Don't fret. Everything will be fine.
2007-01-06 18:46:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never been through a divorce or custody issues, but I've been through severe depression. I promise it passes. If you remember nothing else from all your answers, remember that the depression will pass even when it seems as if it never will.
2007-01-06 18:44:35 · answer #8 · answered by TCSO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have married a better man. Next time, try to see your mate at their worst because that's what they will be like when you go through a divorce.
2007-01-06 18:45:48 · answer #9 · answered by Sax M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cuddles
2007-01-06 18:42:00 · answer #10 · answered by spud 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋