FRUSTRATED AS HELL: How do I deal with my?

Question

husband...the problem here is he only see's or hears what he does to me, as in what he says to me doenst count. Like say if he called me a ***** in a fight, and I called him asshole he would only remember me calling him an asshole and completely forget how he insulted me. Does this mans world really revolve around himself?
He can call someone down or insult them but will not take in the fact that mabe what he said to someone angered them and in turn made them angry enough to insult, no, its only what was said to him that matters.
Btw he is 32 and Im 26, and he very angry as a human being and has been violent to me in the past.
I never left becuase he threatens to take my child away as Im a stay home mom.

we have gone to hterapy in the past, and the councellor actually said we are the worst cople she has seen.
I want out of this relationship but he is saying and doing everything he can so that if I leave I dont get our child, whom I love more than life itself.
I dont know how to deal with this man, he acts like an angry little boy and doesnt want to be civil and becuase I want to leave, Iam known to him as a selfish *****.

Answer 1

Omg! He sounds just like my husband! I call it THE VICTIM SYNDROME! they always try and make like their the VICTIMS because they want to AVOID THE TRUTH AND THE REAL ISSUES AT HAND! MAN BABIES!

Other wise he may just be Narcissistic! since you mention some violence. There isn't any good news about this disorder, most people who suffer from it are unreachable.

Answer 2

Head down to your nearest court house first thing monday morning and file for custody of your child. They may require him to be alerted, they might not, I'm not sure. Even if they do, since you are filing first, it puts you one step ahead of him. If you wait until he takes off with the kid, then you'll have to convince the judge why you think the child should be returned, and you'll have to prove yourself fit. So with a court hearing thrust apon him, he'll have basically no time to prepare a convincing reason why you are unfit. He can't take the kid away from you unless he can prove you unfit, and unless you're a total drug addict that spends all the money on dope, not food, he hasn't got a leg to stand on. The worst that could happen is you'll end up with joint custody, with the primary place of residence being your house, and he can have weekend visits. But I assure you, do it this way, and you will NOT lose your son, no matter what. If you let him get to the courthouse first, you're going to be in for a long battle. Beat him to it. Fast.

Answer 3

So draining -


Please take the time to study Narcissistic! I am not a doctor but you shouldn't have to stay married and be miseriable like this either.

Stop living in fear and fight for your freedom, the sooner you do the sooner you'll feel better. I am not going to focus on his behavior because you can't change him. But you can change or decide to put up with the abuse or not.

Run Run as far as you can. I salute you as a stay at home mom, but what skills do you have? What how much education do you have? How prepared are you to be on your own?

Please don't allow this man to hold threats over your head. If you're not happy then get out (while you can)

Answer 4

You might want to figure out a way to leave this guy pronto. Really. Document evidence that he is violent both physically and emotionally and no judge in the world will grant him custody (get yourself a lawyer soon). The reason you want to leave is not just because he is often cruel to you, but because how he acts will end up shaping your childs self esteem too.

Answer 5

Well to state the obvious first u have to leave.if he has been violent to u before he will again.believe me. thats the way abuse works it just gets worse.u need to talk to a councellor by yourself and maybe a lawyer to get your options clear.he is probably only bluffing about taking your child but its not worth the risk so get some help so u have a chance to keep yourself and your child safe too.

Answer 6

Look... Decisions... Decisions... You could dump him or talk to him and sort it out. You could also both go see a therapist. That might help. I don't mean to be rude. But he sounds like a jerk. He doesn't want to face it. Talk to your mum though first before taking action. It isn't very much abuse. It's rude but it isn't really something to take to Authorities. I would Divorce if you are really that worried. You have a good chance of winning custody if you do Divorce.

Answer 7

He sounds like a d ick. You need to get out before something bad happens to you or the kids. I dont think you have to worry about him getting the kids because your a stay at home mom. That just means he will have to pay more in child support or allimony.

Answer 8

Wow, although sometimes is common is not healthy to be in a relationship like this. Have you tried talking to him about your feelings? And I mean without getting mad. Just remember that he won't take your child away and I hate when men use this excuse. Seek counseling and pray.

Answer 9

I never really understand why women take this kinda treatment!

I think you should start working toward being independent, get a job, save up, make new trustworthy friends, volunteer at a child and women support ngo and build up your contacts.

Clearly, this man does not respect women and you are not safe with him! leave him.

Answer 10

There has to be a law that protects you.Talk to someone,i mean a lawyer.Do more research,find out.Just because you don't work,doesn't mean you have to take the abuse.It's not good for your child to be in that home.