Coming out?

Question

Hey I have a dilemma. I’m 15 and bi and I need to find a way to come out of the closet. See, I've been confused about my sexual orientation for a while, and come to the conclusion that I’m bi. Since I’ve come to this realization, I’ve wanted to tell someone. However, when I try to I get scared that ill by ostracized. I also don’t want to be looked at differently because I’m bi. So I need a step by step plan on how to get this done, quick and as painlessly as possible. Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

I feel for your situation because people like to consider themselves accepting and caring but deep down, most are bitter and cruel. 15 is a really hard time to do this because most people your age don't have the tools to deal with their own crap, let alone a view that is less socially acceptable. First off, good for you. You are acknowledging your sex. I am not sure how to proceed as I am straight but listen, you will be ostracized. You believe in yourself and you must be strong as long as you want to be taken seriously. I am sorry that this can not be done without pain but you have a huge community to back you. You are only doing what is natrual to you and trust yourself. This applies to not only sexuality but many other huge adult responsibilities. Like voting. Or religion. Or career choice. Again, it's not quick or painless to be different but I commend you for taking this step at such a tender age.

Answer 2

Number 1

You do not need to nor should you be making your private sexual identity a public announcement.
You do not need to confess to anyone who you think you are at this young age, you are just past or still in puberty what is your rush.
Plus your sexuality is not your total or main identity. You are you are much more then a sexual desire or act.
You are too young to know this and that is why you are so focused on it trying to make it happen make a decision and so badly wanting to share this with someone, that is very immature. Why push it let it happen because it will believe me.

Number 2

You are way too young to "come to a conclusion" of your sexuality.
Your sexuality is not something that you think of and be. Nor is it something you create in your head, you are it from the day you are born and it grows and matures as you grow and mature.
You need to what you think to yourself for awhile until you mature more and realize that you dont have to do this. That is what all your young friends need to do too, life is not sexuality. Sexualtiy can give you all kinds of powerful surges and urges and being mature is not having to go out and broadcast it to everyone..........it is personal not public info.

Number 3

If you are worried about what people are going to think of you and how they will treat you then you best not say a word.
Not at this point get through puberty first mature a bit more, learn about being an adult before you try to make adult decisions. Why do you think you are afraid of this, because you are too young and immature to be making these choices and that is your conciense telling you so.
That is why you are scared about this. Not because you are afraid of others but because you are not mature enough to deal with all of this.
You are not ready for such a decision which is not a decision you would have such a need to broadcast if you were more mature. You would just be who you are and that would be that ......no explaination
Chill out and be a good kid and I repeat be a kid!

Answer 3

wow. have you got a double whammy. not only do you want to come out but yor bi. honestly , from experience, i came out when i was 15 and am 42 now and that bi lifestyle is usually something that is hidden because it is impossible to have a boyfriend and a girlfriend or to switch from 1 to the other! talk about confusing?any of the guys i knew when i was younger eventually went back in the closet because they wanted the stability of the grlfriend/wife but still played around on the side (brokeback mountain or what) anyways there is no easy plan to coming out it is either going to go smothly or not . its funny when people reallly show their true colors (I meen your friends) because some wont care , some will and you may lose a few. good luck

Answer 4

Start with your closest friends, the ones that will love you no matter what, and work your way down the list of friends once you have your close ones supporting you. Wait to tell your family until youve built your confidence level up a lot from friends expressing support for you. You will always be looked at differently for being bi from some people, however; just ignore them and love and accept yourself. Once you love yourself, you wont care what others say anymore.

Answer 5

if i wanted to tell everyone i was bi, i would first see if anyone was against bi's. then u would if it was "safe" cause at 15, (im 15) there are a ton of kids who grew up, learning to hate people who are different! it's horrible! i know! ive only told my brother and his gf, that im bi! and to tell the truth, i dont want everyone to know im bi! i would probably get beaten!!!! a lot of kids in my school are extremely prejudice about stuff like this, and it does make me mad that people are so judgmental! so keep myself safe by only letting my bro and his gf know! but yeah, my advise should help! good luck!!

Answer 6

lets say you wanted to tell your girlfriend first jest say this; i was wondering what you would think if i was bi sexual,? would you still like me as a friend or would you think of me in any way different? if you like the answer she told you then tell her the truth. now for #2 if you whated to tell your parents, tell them to sit down then tell them, like this you know i have been hanging out with the boys, well i was thinking what you guys would say if i was n,t like the other guys, also i didn,t really in joy being with a girl? well but i feel unbalanced lately i don,t see were out of place lately well i feel that i,m bi sexual

Answer 7

come out to someone who's also bi. then eventually everyone will find out. that's just the way high school is. just make sure you're proud of being bi before u come out because it'll be hard if people make jokes. make sure u dont get offended so they'll respect u

Answer 8

i'm bi but i don't see the need to tell everyone i know..

if i end up dating and marrying a woman, then nobody will ever really need to know that i also happen to be attracted to men..

if i do end up dating a man, which is quite possible, then i will have to tell people as it will want to introduce them to my man..

no real complex matrix or step by step process.. you just gotta tell people one by one.. start with casual friends and work you way up to the close family members. practice will make it easier..

Answer 9

Dont lose too much sleep over this: everyone's bisexual. Some freak out and determine themselves to be completely gay, others go the other way and become self-loathing homophobes.

Answer 10

come out to someone that you trust.
come out when you're ready. you will know when you're ready.
it's easier when you have a support group. you get to hear their stories and compare your self to them and decide how you come out.

this is how i came out to my parents. i asked them, "what would you say, if i told you i was gay?" i guess it was fine asking them that because i know they already suspected it.