Our 6 year marriage is at a turning point. She is talking of getting a divorce. I am madly in love with her and always have been. With one exception we have the best marriage I have ever seen. We get along great. We laugh every day together, we get each other on a level that I have never seen or experienced before. We like all the same things and greatly enjoy doing them together. We are great together both in business and at home. I lavish her with affection. We never want to be away from each other. In most every way it seems shes madly in love with me but she just doesnt have passion for me. Shes always saying im like her best friend. she doesnt even want me to move out after divorce. Our sex though infrequent always ends in satisfaction for both of us. The only trouble I ever had was a sexual side effect (prescription caused) early in our relationship (before we got married) that still bothers her even though it is long gone. I can't imagine life without her. Any advice?
2007-01-06 17:41:03 · 11 answers · asked by Fredrick 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To answer some of your ideas... We are together all the time, we work and live together, it would be impossible for her to carry on an affair (even a quickie on the side type). Although she did have one brief fling over a couple days this summer with someone while travelling. She cut off communication with the person (and hes in Europe). She told me about the affair as 'I thought it was over between us so I did this but it awakened some feelings for us that I thought were gone'. She was a virgin when we met so I was her only lover. I can forgive the affair.
Romantic with a capital R. I write poetry, give flowers, etc. Tell her I love her...
I havent let myself go at all, I look the same or better now than I did when we met, but she is an exceptional beauty and I am average looking.
I know she doesnt believe in marriage as I do.
I feel shes throwing away a lot that she may never find again. I hope I can reach her before its too late for us.
2007-01-06 19:13:04 · update #1
put little spice in your life
2007-01-06 17:45:06 · answer #1 · answered by killer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, that's a tough one. It seems you are best friends, but she wants to be passionate in love, this is what it is about.
I don't think there is anything you can do to rekindle her passion. Patience is the only thing but I don't know if it would be worth the pain of waiting for her to come back.
You said she doesn't want to move out after the divorce. What does she want the divorce for,then? To not feel guilty to be with someone else?
If this is the case, no matter how much you love her, tell her to move out or it'll kill you. As I said, if you want to wait, fine, just don't watch her while you do it. And who knows, maybe you'd realize that life is possible without her and there are other great people out there who won't hurt you.
2007-01-07 01:50:44 · answer #2 · answered by avechm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is her REASON for a DIVORCE?
Marriage is "Till death do you part"
Not a TRIAL "Let's see how I feel after 5 years sample" I thought that was what SHACKING UP was for?
It seems marriage meant nothing to her, it was a trial basis as so many people look at it today! What is it that's bothering her that she would throw away what seems to be a perfectly salvageable marriage down the toilet?
2007-01-07 02:28:50 · answer #3 · answered by SecretFriend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Evenone wants to be comfortable in their relationship but sometimes it steals all the magic away. She sees you as a buddy and not her lover. You ever heard of the friend zone? Well, in essence thats where you are. Another question whats has changed about you since you guys met? Have you let yourself go? You can't completely control her attraction to you but there are things you can do to turn her eyes back to you. Are you still romantic? Affection does not equate to romance.
2007-01-07 02:23:04 · answer #4 · answered by ...huh... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you view the marriage very differently than her if she is talking of divorce and you are seeing and thinking you have a blissful perfect relationship.
Either you are not listening to her and hearing what is being said or she is not saying anything. My advise is to see a marriage counsellor asap and be ready for a reality check.
2007-01-07 02:29:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So if everything is so great in your relationship and both of you feel this way, why does she want a divorce?? Something else is going on here. You need to get to the bottom of it and make her tell you point blank her specific reasons for wanting divorce!!
2007-01-07 01:49:20 · answer #6 · answered by giggles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her about what she has in mind and how come everything else is falling into that category. If she thinks of you as a bestfriend, then she should be enjoying you in bed also.
I think she is just too immature to handle your situation. Good luck to you then.
2007-01-07 02:08:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take her to a island some place and just pound her everyday for a week and she will be just fine! Now where to go Hawaii is nice Bahamas Grand cam ion Jamaica or take a tent and sleeping bags and go to DRY TORTUOUS OFF Key West it's WONDERFUL NO JOKE!!!
2007-01-07 01:57:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya know I have to agree..as childish as it may seem..If you act like maybe she is right and that you are not happy with the way she treats you... in other words as the girl before said..ignore her.. You"re in big boy..Women love the Chase!
2007-01-07 01:53:16 · answer #9 · answered by Sherry D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tell u a secret, ignore her for short time she will follow u
2007-01-07 01:47:49 · answer #10 · answered by alsawsana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋