Ok, here's my ordeal. I am not totally out yet, but there is this guy that i'm interested in. We hang out about once a week because of a sports activity we both participate in. Well whenever he's around me he gives me these "signs" that would normally signal that someone is interested. You know, its the long looks, the playful "flirting" (which could simply just be in jest), when we've gone out with the rest of the group he always sits by me, and close. He tends to accidentally brush his arm or leg against me during dinner and such. I am sooo confused. I am not Out to anyone on our sports team and i'm pretty masculine so he def. doesn't know, but I have told him that I am Def. ok with gay people. haha. This is the kicker, he has a girlfriend and says he wants to go into the ministry. But all the signs say otherwise. He says he's cool with gay people as well so I need to know how to ask him if he's gay without offending him or putting him on the spot. Am I reading too much into this?
2007-01-06 17:30:08 · 14 answers · asked by GeminiGuy 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
No,you are reading the signs right.
He might be bi-curious though.
Get him separate from any spectators and simply ask him whats up with all the hints ,winks,looks ,the brushing etc:but add that you are ok with it,but that it confuses you.
Just plain ask him if he is trying to give you signals,because he wants to have sex with you.
You can tell by his reaction what it is what he really wants.
Act accordingly:but to me it's really sure:he is into it.
good luck to you.
greetings:Rob.xxx
2007-01-06 17:40:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He has a GF, he wants to go into the ministry, what are you setting yourself up for? Sounds like a one night stand with heartbreak or you could be the silent third wheel drinking cheap vodka out a flinstones jelly jar in a few years wondering how you got to this point,
Mess with him if you want but go into it knowing that right now he is a mess.
2007-01-06 17:37:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh, you want him to open up to you, but you are afraid to open up to him?
Sounds like a game that could go on forever.
Be honest with him, and talk about how you feel. Don't come on too strong, but come on a just a tiny bit stronger than you're comfortable with and see how you go. Respect what he says, don't invade his space unless he invites you to.
If he's straight, but cool with gay guys, he'll understand. It's also possible he could be gay but not into you. Or bi, and more into his girlfriend than you.
No way of resolving this without a bit of risk on your part, but keep yourself nice. It's okay to let someone know you find them desirable, but creepy if you start making them feel obligated to feel something in return.
2007-01-06 21:32:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will tell you one way to find out without asking or outing yourself. Just follow his eyes. When you are out with the rest of the team and some hot guy walks by does he look at him, if so where is he looking and for how long. same thing with a hot girl does he look and for how long. His eyes can not lie they will look at what he wants unless he is forcing himself not too. Just follow his eyes for a few days and if you notice that he stares a little too long at the hot guys or looks at them often then you can ask him someplace private so both of your secrets are safe.
Best wishes,
Doug
2007-01-06 18:57:38 · answer #4 · answered by Doug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's probably not a good idea right now to seek the answer, especially since he has a girlfriend. it's so easy to read into things especially if you are not out. you probably want to out yourself but is waiting for another person to do it with. it's really hard to out onesself if there's no support or have any friends who share the same ideas. i suggest just being friends with him, maybe later on, one of you will have the courage to ask the other.
2007-01-06 19:04:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has a girlfriend than maybe he just wants to be friends with you? Why interfere with their relationship?
If you really think he is gay/bi though and you want to see for yourself though than you could always try the "joke around and see what happens" maneuver possibly?
2007-01-06 17:32:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ADD kept me from reading that, but no straight guy would smile back at another guy and get closer and more physical. If you touch him and he touches back then I'm sure he's gay, or bi. Don't confuse nonsexual touches with what I mean, since straight men do occasional touch eachother (handshakes, hugs, etc.)
2007-01-06 17:34:52 · answer #7 · answered by michael d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey look u flaming queer, just because someone's arm accidentally brushed up against ur arm doesnt mean that he wants to jump ur nuts. And if this dude knew all this he would probably be scouring his arm with bleach and a brillo pad. If u dont like that advice, then stick ur finger in his butt. If he punches u in ur face then he's straight, if not i geuss its fair game.
2007-01-06 17:39:10 · answer #8 · answered by mary_jonathon 1 · 2⤊ 4⤋
just ask him if he likes you dont ask him if hes gay or bi wait and see when him and girlfriend break up and ask ok good luck
2007-01-06 17:55:27 · answer #9 · answered by gay boy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
any gestures or some poses or the way he talked will leak his secrets ?
2007-01-06 17:35:20 · answer #10 · answered by odysseyhellas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋