does anyone else act straight just because they're scared of their crush finding out they like them? Here's the deal. I really like my friend, maybe even love her. We flirt all the time, but I flirt because I'm sexually attracted to her. i don't know if she's just a flirt in nature. But anyway i'm on the phone with her and we talk about the movie Guess Who. she's black, i'm white. I asked if she's dated a white guy. she said yes, but really played it down and said it was in high school and was nothing and that she's only had one serious boyfriend and that lasted 3 years. it ended 2 years ago. so I ask her what would happen if she brought home a white guy. she said nothing. Then she asked me what would my mom do. If I brought home a black guy. I told her that she would love it. but she was very timid when she asked that. Of course in my mind guy was replaced with girl. So my question is, does anyone else get scared and bring up the opposite sex to deter them from knowing u like 'em?
2007-01-06 17:16:42 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
plus another question. She's told me that growing up she didn't fit in and she didn't like school and everything. let me tell you, this girl (she's 24) is beautiful. there is no reason by looks for her not to fit in. and by her saying she's only had one serious boyfriend, could that mean she's not interested or comfortable with guys. maybe a closeted lesbian?
2007-01-06 17:18:22 · update #1
I am a lesbian now. But for many years I pretended I was straight-- it sucked. I started off in a similar situation. I was always more attracted to girls but never allowed myself to recognize or enjoy them. I was about 20yrs old when my best friend, Bridget, started flirting w/ me I thought it was fun. Then she started telling my roommates (7 very straight girls) that we made out! (at that time I never even kissed her) I was didn't want to be a lesbian in that living situation, so I would bring home guys to cover. Bridget would sleep over ever other night, it took almost a year and a lot of alcohol before either one of us could muster up the courage to even kiss each other. We continued our friendship sleeping w/ boys to cover, hooking up, fighting about being gay. The whole thing w/ Bridget, ended up as one big train wreck, b/c she wouldn't admit she was a lesbian (despite her actions) it was too much for her to Handel. I didn't have the communication skills to deal w/ her or any previous experience.
I understand its a hard convo to have w/ a friend. The best I can do is provide the following tips:
1. Never project your feelings or perceptions on to your friend. Even if you suspect her to be bi or gay. Don't ever tell her that! let her come to her own conclusions. Let her tell you first.
2. Communication is key. Be honest. Tell you friend that you might like girls (do this in person). Be casual and innocent, Ask he if she ever though about being w/ a girl. listen to what she says - don't try to fit her in right away. Listen to her response, it will help you figure out her stand point on the topic. If she's cool w/ it then say something innocent like - I would want my first kiss to be w/ someone who I trusted - a good friend. Again listen to what she says -- by this point you'll have a good idea where she stands.
3. No matter what happens, Don't ever do things to compromise yourself. example: If you don't like boys don't date or sleep w/ them. You don't have to let people know your gay, if you don't want to, but NEVER EVER pretend to be something you're not. You'll only hurt yourself in the long run.
2007-01-06 17:58:25 · answer #1 · answered by J.Brown 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i know lots of people who do that but they r doin this coz they think like if my friend reject me then i will loose her as a girlfriend and a friend so i will just accept the fact that she is my friend but that doesnot mean u stop havin this crush on her
2007-01-06 18:30:23 · answer #2 · answered by Tara 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she is not yet comfortable with her sexuality..... she is hiding it from family, and friends.... for fear of rejection.... how about you have a talk with her, and see if she is interested in females..... that is the only way your question will be answered....
2007-01-06 17:54:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
its possible she's a les, just ask her wat she thinks about LBGT,that should help out ur situation! im bi! but havent really had a big crush on a girl yet so...yeah, good luck!
2007-01-06 17:24:31 · answer #4 · answered by Rin_san44 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋