Did I make the right decision?

Question

My g/f and I have been dating for 8 months and she is 13 weeks pregnant. Last night we got in the biggest fight ever in our relationship. She left me and slept in her car. She came back this morning and went to sleep. Her sister came and picked her up because she says she is scared of me. As she was leaving she told me that she might be miscarrying (bleeding ans stomach pain). I called the hospital and spoke to a nurse and she said to get her in right away. I drove down to her sisters house and she refused to go to the hospital with me. We had not yet told her parents about the pregnancy. So I called her parents and told them EVERYTHING. I was concerned for her health and the babies health. Did I do the right thing? Do you think she willl ever forgive me for this? I have been trying to get her to the doctor since six weeks, and she kept putting it off. I felt like this was the right time to tell her family beacause something had to be done. Am I a good guy for doing this?

Answer 1

How old is she? Who are you to be telling her parents for her if she is over 18. this does not concern them. they are her parents. she will tell them how she chooses to. i do not agree. i believe your intentions were good, though. hope everything works out.

Answer 2

Well, my friend even though I don't agree with you arguing with her, at least I think that you did the right thing. This also shows that you are a good guy and a gentleman, I'm glad that you tried to do something for her and your baby even when she refused, you showed her that you were there not only for good but for bad too and that's something that not a lot of guys do now days. So don't feel guilty about what happed that day any more, besides even if part of it could've been your fault there's little you can do now. If there is something that can be done to make that relationship work, of course if feelings are there; then do it because in some cases it's better a bad one that you already know than a good one to be known, meaning that sometimes when there is a problem that you can fix continue that relationship instead of trying to get to know some body else you just met who might even turn out worser than her. Stay good and take care.

Answer 3

Your a good guy and a bad guy, first off, dont you know that stress is one of the big factors in early miscarriage and makeing her sleep in the car, if you were a good guy you would of traded places with her, and tryed to understand that even that early they still have mood swings that they cant just control, and yes it was good you called the hospital and tryed to get her to go, but you should of talked to her about telling her parents i dont know how old you guys are but thats something you both have to agree on, some women dont like to tell people until after the first trimester when chances of miscarriage are less likly and now that you did tell she might be the type or person who will get more stressed out and depressed with her parents lecturing her or dpending on how they take the news, what you need to do is buy her some cute lil blankets for the baby and a homemade card that says your sorry and your dumb and that you will always be there for her no matter what, and when i was the same way when i was pregnant my husband just sucked it up and said he was sorry even though i was wrong and always tryed to comfort me, but there is always a line of when your overdoing it, so if you want to be a good guy be there for her and just appologize even if you dont mean it, and dont try to prove a point or be a smartass and say your right, she needs your attention right now cause the farther along she goes the worse it gets

Answer 4

I think you did the right thing. The fact that she was endangering the baby that is in fact, half yours, by not seeing a doctor makes what you did the right thing. Also the fact that she wouldn't go see a doctor after finding out she was pregnant should worry you as well. That's usually a sign that she isn't too happy about having the baby. If getting her parents involved can help the baby, then yes you did the right thing.

Answer 5

Usually alot of miscarriages happen before 3 months of pregnancy.
If she is miscarrying and refuses to go to the doctor, here is some info if she plans on having an unassisted miscarriage. It is possible to miscarry at home while losing alot of blood but you still can take care of yourself---------> http://www.unhinderedliving.com/ucmiscarriage.html
Also read this info, what to do if you are hemorroging after birth-------> http://www.unhinderedliving.com/ucmiscarriage.html

*You can get the herbs at organic stores near you. Get the herbs immediately tommorrow morning or afternoon. Organic stores usually are closed earlier than grocery stores. So you might want to search for some on the internet.

If she expells the fetus, wrap the fetus up in cloth along with the placenta and go to the ER so they can determine the age of the fetus.

Answer 6

I would have done the same thing. She should forgive you because your only concerned with the babies health. But when she went out to the car you should have stopped her and told her you were sorry just to be safe. Your a good guy!

Answer 7

It sounds as though you have good intentions. Does she have a reason to be afraid of you? If she is afraid of you then why did she come back to your house to sleep? If she is having pain and bleeding she does need to see a Dr. right away, but it makes me wonder if she is telling you the truth about that? Most women would be scared to death if that happened to them and wouldn't put off seeing a Dr. right away. Why is she putting off seeing a dr.? Have you seen the results of the pregnancy test? See if she will talk to you - even offer to have her sister present if it makes her more comfortable. I think you did the right thing.

Answer 8

I think that you did a wonderful job in your situation. I know that you probably wish that things didn't happen the way that they did but you were worried. She needed to be at the doctor and it was childish and selfish for her not to go on her own accord. Bravo' and I really hope that everything works out for the best.

Answer 9

I dont ordinarily answer these questions but i'm motivated by the ethical content, for the love & wellbeing for all children & the family unit

If you were truely motivated by the wellbeing of your child & ex-gf in hope that the family could perhaps persuade her to seek medical help for her condition then YES, i believe you're correct in your decision to notify them

However, I seriously question this motivation because:
1. you allowed her & your inborn child to walk out
2. you allowed her and your unborn child to sleep in a car
3. you are willing to let her face her family alone
4. you are willing to let her go through this prenancy alone
5. you are willing to let her AND you child face life alone

And all this for what?..."to prove a point" in your initial argument?...WOW!

Now ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES FOR YOUR ACTIONS; when YOUR SON is deprived of things because theres no bread-winner in the home; when your son cant explain who his dad is, when she gets another man, when your son calls someone else DAD, when you cant get to visit your son when you want


NOW BE A REAL MAN!...SAVE YOUR FAMILY; go crawl back to her and tell her YOU were wrong (even if your right); ask her for HER forgiveness; get her to come HOME; FACE YOUR FAMILIES TOGETHER; do EXACTLY what she wants for 9 months (or until all post stress is gone); Compromise with her; KEEP YOUR FAMILY TOGETHER, NO MATTER WHAT!!!

OR...i hope you take solace in the other answers you receive

Answer 10

its not often ya find a guy to stick around let alone be so carring...shes lucky to have you to worry about her..she needs to see a doctor for the sake of the baby theres so many tesys they have to do not to mention in a few weeks she should have an ultra sound and it can tell you what your baby is...talk to her i know pregnant woman and i know we can be very stubborn but let her know you know shes scared and your not going any where tell her often when she feels like your going to always be there maybe some of her fear will subside..