2007-01-06 16:56:10 · 18 answers · asked by dolphinsfan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He works out of town all the time. He also only makes the accusations when he is drunk, so talking about it at the time is kind of out of the question because he is really unreasonable.
2007-01-06 17:12:08 · update #1
Hi dolphin!!!
Be careful !!! He could just be distracting you from what......
HE IS DOING!!! Study the reasons why he is accusing you of cheating, then look at how he is acting behaving lately!!!
Some men go for the mind tricks when it comes to being cheating themselves, they make the woman feel worry and with low self esteem, for them to take advantage!!!
And in the mean time you are trying so hard to be the perfect one for him, he will be doing what ever he wants, because he will be "IN CONTROL " of the situation. WAKE UP!!!
If I were you I will put him in the spot too!!! Trust me, I[m talking by experience!!! Don't let him take you for a fool. You and me know, is NOT you cheating, so who is it???
GOD BLESS YOU & BE CAREFUL!!!
ALLIV Z
2007-01-06 17:12:15 · answer #1 · answered by Alliv Z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Often times we project our feelings of guilt on the other party involved.
For example, you're having a bad day, but you accuse your spouse or children "why are you so grouchy?". The same applies here I'm afraid.
I believe that he may not be "cheating" but I'd be willing to bet he has "cheated" (past tense). When he's drinking he's feeling more and more guilty about his sins and is projecting his feelings onto you.
Don't tollerate it, you don't need to convince him of anything. You can simply state "Honey, I have never cheated and I have no plans on cheating on you in the future, it also hurts my feelings that you are throwing out such nonsense to me without warrant, I have never done anything to question my fidelity to you, so please, stop with the hurtful words". If he continues, and you want to go even further you can tell him that most guilty parties accuse the others of their sins, and ask him "is there something you want to get off your chest?" maybe in a way he's hoping you are cheating so he can feel better about his choices.
Regardless, I'm sorry you have to go through this, it's not fair to you and I hope your husband grows up and accepts his responsibility.
2007-01-08 17:58:03 · answer #2 · answered by Heather S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a horrible situation to find yourself in. It is most frustrating when the basis is unfounded. I do not know why he feels that you are cheating. Sometimes it is simple behavior issues on your part that he perceives as threatening to your relationship. Such as, you going out without him. Things of that nature. A new attitude or change of some kind in you.
Try talking to him and tell him you want to help allieviate his concerns by responding honestly to any questions he has. If you are close with someone and although it is an honest friendship, you may need to back away from the friend to keep your husband.
2007-01-07 01:17:45 · answer #3 · answered by soozemusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have always heard when a man accuses a woman of cheating for no apparent reason he is probably cheating himself, but that's just what I have been told. My husband has insinuated the same thing about me and I have done nothing wrong. Also, I have never felt obligated to prove anything to him because I have not done anything wrong.
2007-01-07 01:06:08 · answer #4 · answered by MD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you, there is no true way that you can convince him that you are not because him thinking that you are cheating means that his trust in you is low. So i suggest to gain his trust back. There must have been something you said or did that made him think that you were cheating. If you overreact he will def think you are cheating. Just be yourself and everything will work out in the end. good luck.
2007-01-07 01:00:21 · answer #5 · answered by xxdelicious_l1psxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to put you on the spot!
You don;t need to convince him! If he thinks you're cheating, no matter what you would say in your own defense, nothing would convince him!!!
You have to wonder why he is on you about it!!!!!
Ask him why he feels this way, just go and try! See what he says!
It's like what someone else said on here, IF he doesn't believe you, it's his problem, not yours!
Good luck and prayers!
2007-01-07 01:09:05 · answer #6 · answered by julesrules 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is common for a cheating spouse to accuse the other of doing it. Stop being defensive and see if he's with someone.
2007-01-07 00:59:24 · answer #7 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he thinks u r cheating he probably is. If u work then call in sick wen ur not and folo ur husband to his work. Or ask ur boss if u can change ur work time and go home earlier than ur husband, and if he comes home later than when he gets out from work get him really drunk and question him, he wont kno wat hes doin so he probably would tell the truth.
2007-01-07 01:01:18 · answer #8 · answered by Dominik S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is the one cheating on you and its his own continence accusing you. If neither one of you are cheating then you can give him more attention, take him out, show him he is the only one for you.
2007-01-07 00:59:56 · answer #9 · answered by Clara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him what he needs to know. How the hell are we supposed to know. And why are you more comfortable asking strangers than your husband? Isn't he supposed to be you're best friend? If he didn't dump you when he started suspecting you then he cares enough to work on it. Or he's a psycho. Good Luck.
2007-01-07 01:19:08 · answer #10 · answered by Thundercow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋