Should I give my friend a birthday gift when I didnt get one last year?

Question

Last year I spent around $40 on a gift for a pretty new friend and then the next month when my birthday came around she didnt give me anything. Should I give her a gift this year hoping she'll give me one?
I feel like if i don't i'll seem totally mean....

another thing is that her excuse for not giving me anything was that her birthday is during the school year and mine isnt, which makes no sense to me

Answer 1

Well, I feel it's good to give them the benefit of the doubt...maybe she didn't know it was your birthday or didn't have any money. Did you at least get a card, perhaps? I totally get what you're saying, though. I know most of my friends won't remember my bday but I still remember my close friends in some way, like a card. It's who I am and I don't want to change that. I will also talk with my new friends about birthdays and feel them out to see if they like to remember them or not. Sometimes we just do our kids' birthdays and that seems to work, too. I guess you have to ask yourself how you'll feel if you don't get her anything. Are you cheating yourself out of something you'd like to do. How about just a card with a nice note if you like to write. Or taking her out somewhere? If you really feel strongly, though and you know she knows it's your birthday then maybe you should forgo the gifts this year.... That's a tough one.

Good luck!

Answer 2

You should never gives gifts expecting to receive gifts. You give as a way of showing how you feel. If you care enough for this friend give a gift. If you don't then don't. Gifts are not an obligation.

Answer 3

You should only give a gift if you want to and it comes from the heart. You should never give a gift expecting anything in return (even a thank you, sadly).
I don't think you're heart is in giving this girl a gift, so don't. You are not obligated to give anyone a gift, ever.

Answer 4

You should totally get a gift. Then your friend will remember that and won't ever forget again. Write on the card "even though you forgot my birthday last year i'm gonna still give you a present, dork how could you foorget my birthday." Well you don't have to put in the last part.

Answer 5

I say the purpose of giving gifts is to show that you value that person. Which in your case is a friend you value their friendship but if you give gifts and expect to receive one in return then it's best for you to just not give.

Answer 6

I've always kept a list of friends, broken down by how much I spend on a gift. If someone doesn't think I'm important enough to give a gift to, then I downgrade them a level. if it happens long enough, they wind up in the "$2 card" list.

Answer 7

Gifts are a spigiven in the spirit of friendship and generosity---maybe they were made to feel uncomfortable by what you gave---or maybe they have no money---or maybe anything---never expect anything and you'll never be disappointed--you can't demand a gift in return--IT is a spirit--like I said.. Sorry but you are putting way too much thougfht into this. move on

Answer 8

I wouldn't get her anything... maybe you could talk to her- my best friends and I have all discussed giving gifts or not to each other, sometimes there's money issues, sometimes you just don't need or want anything. If you are close friends now, be honest and talk to her, if your not close enough to talk about something like this, your not close enough to be exchanging gifts.

Answer 9

You should feel good giving a gift to a person you care about regardless of whether you receive one in return.

Answer 10

A gift should be given without expectations of receiving one in return