almost a month ago today, rumors started going around that my wife slept with my cousin. when i confronted her about it, she lied to me about some things at first, but later on confessed those things but never confessed about seeping with him. she insists she is telling the truth and threatened suicide when i didnt believe her at first. my cousin that they in fact had sex and she sucked him off. my cousin also lied about this day in parts, but now he is insisting that he is telling the truth. me and my cousin were never really close and me and my wife had only been married for 5 months at the time. i am also in iraq and she was living with my mom at the time of all this happening. who should i believe and what should i do.
2007-01-06 16:25:17 · 16 answers · asked by young grown man 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
also, she has 2 kids which i love
2007-01-06 16:47:31 · update #1
I've already answered your other question, but I'll answer it again in case you missed it before.
I don't think either of them can be trusted (or believed). You have enough information from both of them to know something was going on.
If you were my husband over in Iraq, I would NEVER cheat on you. I would be so damned proud to tell people that I was married to you. Being lonely is not a reason to do what she is doing.
2007-01-06 17:58:44 · answer #1 · answered by MD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who has the better reason to lie? My gut would say your cousin is telling the truth. Your wife may not want to loose you, but what does your cousin get out of it? Ask him to describe something about her physically or performance wise that he would only know from being with her or seeing her naked. Investigate. Use some techniques. Study up on the internet how to determine when someone is lying. If don't get anywhere, then either accept or call the Maury show! But, the fact that she threatens to commit suicide if you don't believe her shows she has some very serious issues that need attention.
2007-01-07 00:37:32 · answer #2 · answered by sixicenine 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you're problem is with your wife lyeing to you about sleeping with your cousin. She did it, simply put. Her actions or reactions to confrontation speak many things. Her threatening to commit suicide is only a desperate plea for you not to leave her. She is full of guilt and regret for commiting this heinous act and I think it is your judgement call as to wether or not you go forward with this marriage. The marriage is still young and often the biggest mistakes happen first for a reason. Beg her tot ell the truth be persistent but not judgemental in your efforts to uncover the truth and take the time to make a sound decision based on reason and emotion.
2007-01-07 00:40:36 · answer #3 · answered by paul_e74 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you this but your wife did have sex with your cousin.He is telling you the truth about your wife.Only a guilty person threatens suicide because of the shame and guilt.No way will you ever forgive or forget what she did to you,but that does not mean you two should brake up over this .If you love her you need to try to work through this.My husband did much worse then your wife and I am still with my husband.I have never forgiven or forgot what he did to me.I told him I'll never will forgive him.That was 10 years ago.I love my husband ,does that mean I have to forgive him. NOT IN MY LIFE TIME.
2007-01-07 00:57:58 · answer #4 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rumors are just that - rumors.
What you should do? God only knows.
Maybe counseling when you get home if you truly love your wife and want this marriage to work.
Leave your cousin out of your life completely. Don't hate him just ignore him as if he doesn't exist. No real man screws around in his own family...it is tacky! And that is what you don't want to be.
Pray a lot for her and yourself and for your ability to put all this behind you and get on with a good life.
2007-01-07 00:44:54 · answer #5 · answered by megan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like their both lying. Dude, you are in Iraq and your wife is have an affair with your cousin. File for a divorce. What kind of woman (person) would do that to a man who is in a war?
Stay alive, come back and get a new woman - one who will truly love you and respect you.
javypeds,
Florida
:->
http://360.yahoo.com/javypeds
2007-01-07 00:29:30 · answer #6 · answered by nowhere 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sorry that you are going through this and so far away in danger. If I were you I would wait until I came home to settle it and if you are already home I would get counseling to see if I could get over it and if I can't, I'd leave. the only person that counts is you and it sounds like they did not pull their stories together I would not believe either of them. Leave her, I have friends in the military and they need faithful spouses so they can concentrate on their job. Good Luck.
2007-01-07 00:51:19 · answer #7 · answered by livlafluv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it seems that they are both lying to you. I would go with your gut instinct. Seems to me that she cheated, wether it was full penetration or not, somethings still happened. You should consider gettin out of this relationship now. If this is gonna happen when you have only been married 5 months what do you think will happen in 5 yrs???
2007-01-07 00:33:24 · answer #8 · answered by giggles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would believe it. why else would he be saying this. how horrible. You have to be the one who believes or not. You will be the one getting in bed with her not us. I know this is hard for you but if you go go now the longer you wait the harder it is and if there are no kids involved thank your lucky stars you can have a fresh start.
2007-01-07 00:37:48 · answer #9 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cousin.
2007-01-07 00:27:18 · answer #10 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋