Why do women withhold kids from their father after the divorce?

Question

I have seen it happen way too often. When a couple with kids breaks up, the mother of the kids tend to want to keep the kids away from the father. She wants the child support, but don't want anything to do with him including having him have contact with the kids.

Why do women think that after the break-up that the kids are just hers? Why does the woman put the kids in the middle of the battle when the man moves on and be with another woman? What do the kids have to do with this?

Why can't people fight and be angry without brining the kids into the situatiion?

Answer 1

Women get angry when they get divorced. Even when the throw them out, they still get angry. They know that most fathers really love their kids and some women will use their children as a wedge. They think that by withholding the children from visiting their father, it will hurt the father. Oh, yes it will hurt the father, but it will hurt the children even more. I think they do it just to get back at their husband without thinking of how that affects the children.

Answer 2

I think people should be able to move on without bringing the kids into adult situations. However, you mentioned only the women that do this. Men do this every bit as often as women do it. Unfortunately both x spouses far too often use the kids as pawn to settle the score with each other and it just is not right. The kids are equally both the mom and the dad's responsibility from financially right down to visitation. I remember the first christmas my x husband was gone, he for whatever reason, didn't buy the kids one gift. Every single gift under the tree that I bought had the name tag From: mom and dad. The kids were none the wiser..... nine years later they still don't know. No way were the kids going to think their daddy didn't get them Christmas gifts. It wasn't about making my x out to be the bad guy, because at who's expense would it have been? My kids! Two years after that christmas he took off for 13 months, we didn't hear from him, the kids didn't know where he was. I assured them he loved them and would call when he could. Its not about getting that extra dig in where you can, its about loving the kids through a difficult time.....
L.

Answer 3

Not all women do this !! I have many friends who are divorced or separated who's children have a very good and healthy relationship with their father's. In some cases it is in the best interests of the child not to have contact but where the father is a good parent l don't know of any who are not allowed access to their children. Unless of course the mother is just a nasty, vindictive person in which case the father should fight her all the way for visitation rights. And yes you are certainly right, the children should never be put in the middle of any marital fighting or arguing, after all it is not the child's fault that the parents for whatever reason can not get along. Hope this helped. If it is you going through this situation, l honestly wish you the best of luck.

Answer 4

I agree with you 100%. It is wrong. The children needs both parents, have shared time between the two. Lots of women are like that, and it is so wrong. She "cannot" keep you away from them children, you should have visitation per divorce and child custody decree through the court. If you do not, you need to take her to court and get it. Children should not be put in the middle of adults fights. She has a problem, that a Judge can and will get her straight on real quick. The only way she an keep you legally away from them kids is if the Judge ordered it, and you would still have to pay child support. Other reason would be if you were abusive in some way. Fight for the visitation of your children, then be there on time and never miss a day. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Ok, who gave birth to them, the man or the woman? Who had all of the fun during the sexual act of creating them but got a way scot free from all pain and discomfort during pregnancy? Who had c sections and was in pain for weeks while nursing the children and raising them almost by themselves, the man or the woman? Since the woman lost her figure for her children and gave up everything she loved while their father lounged around on his fat butt on the couch making demands, they are her's. Only the mother is the best for the children. They come from her, and they are not able to do well without her. Fathers are so selfish even after the birth. They become jealous that the baby needs so much attention and they expect their mother to be able to do everything for them AND for their father. How can the father who is basically a big child himself raise children? My ex was nothing but a big kid. He spent all of his time with his electronics, his friends, and his alcohol. Our 3 year old was fortunate enough to get SOME time, but not much. Our 10 month old won't even smile at him becuase his father is always jumpy to be rid of the children. he hates having to do a single thing for them and never supported them. I had to get a job because their father would spend $300 per week on his clothing and bought himself a brand new car, but put his children in a literal death trap and refused to buy more than six outfits a year for them. After I got my degree and my job, that changed. He became more and more abusive and used our daughter as a sheild as he broke my bones. Do you really think I'm going to leave ANY child with somebody like that?

Answer 6

Well I agree with you, I am a female and have 2 kids from another man other than my boyfriend now, (of 9 1/2 yrs). I would never keep my kids from my ex. He was a horrible man to me but if it was not for him I would have never had my boys and for me to act like I had them alone, then I think that men should not have to pay support if they aren't in the kids lives. Plus you are making the kids hate the father. Chances are if you let the kid see the father he will do that himself. Women are selfish and are vindictive. I tell my boys that all the time. Now a days women think more about themselves then the kids anyways. I know a couple of women that wont let their kids see their father and they want that check and have a fit if it don't come and act a fool, calling the dad all kinds of names in front of the kids. Ill say it again "women are selfish and vindictive", I'm a women too, But..................

Answer 7

Your right. She's already pissed off you've left her then to rub salt into the wound you found another woman to replace her. so now the only thing she can fight you with knowing you love those kids is to hold them back from you which is wrong its putting the kids in the middle for something they've never done . they still love both there parents but this is the only leverage she feels she has right now you have taken the rest so she will try and piss you off. wait till divorce time that should be fun for you. she''ll probably hold back and fight you all the way.

Good luck.

Answer 8

immaturity pure and simple these small minded girls (can't call them women because they aren't) don't realize that their actions of withholding a fathers visitation will do nothing but hurt the kids in the long run...they(the kids) will turn to drugs booze and sex to get the attention that they were denied while growing up...self esteem will be low to none and they will hardly ever have a good relationship with any man. It's funny how anyone can have a kid but it takes a real person to raise one right

Answer 9

I believe that it is a way to "get back" at and control their spouse. Women can be vindictive and will often use the kids. It is extremely unfair and fortunately the courts are getting wiser to this practice.

Unless there is some issue with the father, then women should just grow up and realize it took two to make the kids and kids need their fathers.

Answer 10

Women use kids as pawns to get the upper hand in the divorce. They also want as much child support as they can get from their ex-husband. That's why they want them so much. It has nothing to do with loving their kids. They lose child support money if they don't keep them. Women are all gold digging whores.