My mom opens my mail and I'm over 18!?

Question

I keep telling her to not do it, but she never listens. Her excuse is that she owns the roof I'm living under and I shall live by her rules >_>
She also took the lock off my bedroom. How can I make her understand I'd like some privacy?

Answer 1

I'm pretty sure that is illegal (opening the mail, it's her house and she can remove locks at her discretion).

Answer 2

Since you already talked to her. Try telling her what is the reason for her going through your email? is it because she doesnt trust you? play that game with her.

I will tell you one thing if your mom is checking your emails is because she still thinks your her little kiddo, and she can still put all these rules on you. This might seem very rude, but as you said you are not a kid anymore. Take the ball out of her court and move out. Or threaten her that you will move out.

As i said this would be mean, but you are planning to move out eventually and maybe getting married. Does she have to have a say in all that?

You should think about it now that you can stop it nicely, rather than a situation happens where you have to choose your mom or your wife! You dont want to ever go through that guilt trip.

So change your password to your email. Make sure she notices the changes you are making. I doubt she will kick you out of the house. Even if she does it wont last long, because she will feel guilty of what she has done. But i think you should stand up for your right now and dont let your mom take your rights away from you.

I know we all love our parents , but there is a limit where parents can't interfere with our lives. They should know that.

This is a small problem now, but she will start making descions for you. Have you watched the comedy show everybody loves raymond?

That is a comedy, but you wil go through that in your life time if you are not careful of the desiscions you are about to make.
Very respectfullly work your way out of the house and move out , find a job, be independent.
good luck

Answer 3

I'm 19 so i know what you mean about the owner of the roof thing. And i guess it is true with things that has to do with locks on doors and such you could suggest paying some rent (that way it would make you partial owner) then you would have some say so (like locks on your door, or curfew). With the mail thing I think there some kind of law out about opening another person mail without there consent. One thing you do want to keep in mind is she has raised you all these years and for some parents its a very hard thing for them to let go of. So what me and my mom done is sat down and talk about it. We agreed before hand to not raise our voice and talk in a civilized manner (this does work, making a suggest such as this kind of hits them like hey maybe he has grown up) So hopefully these will help you out some.

Answer 4

Well for one thing, you should get a p.o. box or move out

Also, have a talk with her, but don't get mad, a simple conversation that could resolve your problems could turn upside down if you start screaming. Tell her that you understand that she cares about you and wants you to be safe, but also tell her that you would like some privacy. If you say it sincerely she will understand and might give your privacy back
On the other hand, if you did something she didn't want you to do, you should apologize and tell her that it will never happen again.
What ever you do, do NOT scream or get angry.

Answer 5

Oh boy, the lovely problem of privacy.

unfortunately she is right, you live under her roof and therefore you do have to live by her rules. As far as her opening your mail? Technically it's illegal, especially since your an adult now. I would talk to her about it once more, then I would go and do a change of adress to a friends house maybe? That will at least solve that problem.

As far as the lock? I'm not sure becuase my mom let me put a locked door knob on my key...but the deal we made was she had a spare key and I had one....so if your not worried about her snooping, then go to that approach.

Answer 6

Move out, or tell her you have the right to privacy, what she is doing, with the mail at least, is legally invasion of privacy, basically I would handle this situation with a lot of cussing, just because she owns the house dosent mean she has the right to look through your stuff, also, I'd get my own lock for my door, and after I install it, I wouldnt give her my key..

Basically I would make her feel guilty for being a snoop, also, get a PO box

Answer 7

she knows that you WANT privacy, what she doesn't know it that you NEED it. Basically, your mother is still acting like you're somewhere around 14 or 13, protecting you from everything. You have make her understand that you're a grown man, in NEED, not in WANT, of privacy.

Talk to her, tell her (in the kindest and most polite way possible for you) (BECAUSE SHE'S YOUR MOTHER) that you want to have her in your life forever (assuming coz you still live with her) but there are some things that you should be dealing with ALONE. Assure her that you're not doing anything wrong, and if there are problems, you'd handle it on your own.

Answer 8

Privacy, fair play and respect are the most important issues in the family too! Your mom shouldn't do what she's doing, at all!
Unluckily when parents are so rough there's nothing to do aside from you to change some habit. Try to prefer e-mail putting some new and long password in your computer and mailbox!
For mail you could recourse to mail stop i.e.
You can't have a diary.... unless you don't have a private post box. Try to remain no private thing around or in the pants, etc. etc....

Answer 9

She's right about the roof you're living under. She's wrong to be opening your mail. It is a federal offense. However, she could legally argue that you are still her dependent since you still live with her. The only solution is to move out!!

Get a job, get some friends together for roommates and go for it!

Answer 10

Strictly talking it truly is unlawful. yet what are you going to do? Have your mom arrested? She placed up along with your crap for years. Your turn now. some mothers and fathers are merely that way. Get your self a field on the placed up workplace that really you already know the combination. and do not go away your mail mendacity round. purchase your self a shredder. between the confetti variety. Then burn the confetti. It received't end the NSA, inspite of the indisputable fact that it truly is going to sluggish your mom slightly.

Answer 11

It is illegal for her to open up your mail, especially disclosure documents. Allow her to know that. Her continuing and using *her house* as an excuse to invade your privacy is crossing the line. Even though you most likely would move out, I would persue to place charges on her if she continues as that is too disrespectful. That is me though. I don't have that problem as my mom respects my privacy.

It is your mom's house and she can take on or place on anything she wants in the house. (accept video in your room, which is illegal invasion of privacy).

i would look into getting a pobox and having your mail forwarding to this address and using that pobox address for your mail. She can not access it unless she has your key.

I would also look into another place to live eventually. You two seem to clash a little too much by the sound of it.