Just a Question for you married people..Did you and your spouse ever just stop having sex for very long periods of time? In essence just 3 to 4 times a year? is this normal or healthy?
2007-01-06 15:51:59 · 43 answers · asked by corporatetrade 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes it does happen and there's usually a reason behind it,whether one or both partners are feeling unloved unappreciated its hard to muster up the desire to have relations with this person sit down and talk because it cant go to long this way before both party's will feel unloved unwanted and feel that there is no desire to be involved in that way.
2007-01-06 15:57:15 · answer #1 · answered by resigned 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
We've went a few weeks without sex before. I think maybe about a month once when my husband had arthroscopic surgery on his knee. Other than that no. I don't think its normal to only have sex 3-4 times a month. In a healthy relationship where sex is physically possible (exceptions: high risk pregnancy or surgery, etc) I think a couple should have sex at least 2 times a month at the very least. However, my husband and I haven't been married for that long (5 years) so I don't know if it gets less the longer you are married.
2007-01-06 15:57:43 · answer #2 · answered by Katie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say that is probably not normal. As far as healthy, that depends on all the circumstances involved in why you are no longer being intimate with your spouse.
My personal experience as being married, we are down to about once every ten days, but we have been having other issues that need to be resolved that keep my mind occupied. i.e he was unemployed for about 6 weeks from turkey day to just after Christmas. I was the only income and the bill collectors were chomping down hard, it was very difficult to even want to be intimate. Plus he was always on the computer playing those war games, did not help out around the house, etc...It's hard for a woman to be "bringing home the bacon and then put in another full days work around the house with the kids, dinner, laundry, etc and still be expected to want to fool around.
You need to analyze what is going wrong in the entire relationship and what has driven both you to being satisfied with only 4 times a year...once a quarter! That is rough.
2007-01-06 16:05:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If both of you are happy with 3-4 times a year and the relationship is going good, then there isnt a problem. If you were having sex more than that and now things have just come to a standstill, and you or her are not happy with that, then there is a problem. There are lots of reasons for this. The best and quickest remedy is to get connected with a good counselor. The problem is not that hard to fix. I sure there are other problems with the marriage besides sex. Take the first step and get some help with someone experienced in this area.
2007-01-06 16:01:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am not sure that it's ever been that low for me, but it's been close. However, it takes effort to pull yourselves out of that slump, it's not going to correct itself naturally. Does one partner want sex more than the other? If not, then, it might not be a problem, but I think that most of the time, someone will want more sex than that. And that will create a conflict. Open communication is the only way to deal with these things, and whoever doesn't want much sex might have to work on some things, whether it's emotional problems with sex or just inattentiveness.
2007-01-06 16:08:06 · answer #5 · answered by Taco girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not healthy but brother it's very normal.
Most (about 6 out of 7 in my ongoing poll I've conducted since 1987) married women drop the act that they enjoy sex soon after getting married.
They neglect to mention this to their husbands, who believed the story that after you get married, sex is pretty much on-demand 24/7/365.
The resulting conflict can be catastrophic.
2007-01-06 17:25:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married almost 7 yrs. We havn't had sex in 5 yrs. none. zero. zilch. At first it use to bother me, I use to think there was something wrong with me. But the truth of the matter was...it really was all my fault!
My husband has narcolepsy. He didn't like to treat it cuz the medicine gave him the shakes, made him feel jittery, like he's always on edge. I insisted he start taking the medicine cuz I got tired of him falling asleep on me all the time, at movies, restaurants, friends houses, ect. It seemed like all he did was sleep. So in a round about way, we stopped having sex because of me. What i didn't realize and he didn't bother to tell me was that the medicine affects your sex drive. After a yr of no sex, I finally confronted him about it and he explained it was the medicine, it made him unable to get an erection.
But truth be told? It didn't bother me enough to ask him to stop taking the medicine. He was lousy in bed anyways and I always dreaded it when he wanted sex! But now that i know (mentally) that I wasn't the reason for him not wanting sex, I got over my fear that there was something wrong with me and our lives are perfectly happy.
Some ppl may consider not having sex as "not normal". But I think it is each to his own. What i consider normal, you may not. And what's not healthy about not having sex? Monks don't have sex and they live to ripe old ages.
Married ppl not having sex is more common place than most ppl realize. Guys just don't realize it cuz it's not something they are comfortable sitting around duscussing with their friends.
2007-01-06 16:29:26 · answer #7 · answered by suzyq 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say how old you are,that matters alot.I've been married for a long time and now we're more like best friends.We still love each other but the sex drive isn't what it used to be.Some of it is medical,some of it is age.If you can't cope with the way things are,you need to talk to your mate and seek help,otherwise live on.Not having sex is not the end of the world.
2007-01-06 16:18:52 · answer #8 · answered by Granny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely unhealthy. If by sex you mean more than just intercourse. There are several other ways to commit sex with or without a partner. If this is a big issue for you discuss in great detail with your partner and let your feelings be known. Sex in a relationship is important and healthy but not the morst important thing. It stands a very close 2nd to the relationship itself. There should be nothing limiting emotional connection but there can be things limiting intimate ones. They are few and far between but they do exist and are usually temporary. I'm sure in your area there are sex/relationship counselling services, use them!
2007-01-06 16:01:35 · answer #9 · answered by paul_e74 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow. And I was complaining that we have only had it like 4 times since the baby was born 4 months ago becaue 1) baby wont sleep, 2) one of us is too tired 3) not in the mood after being spit up on all day or 4) all of the above. I certainly hope it doesn't dwindle to 3 or 4 times a year.
2007-01-06 15:59:16 · answer #10 · answered by sugar 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow! im not married but in a long term relationship...our sex has slowed down it depends time to time but i think to a degree it is normal but 3-4 times a year damn..who gets it going when it does happen your spouse or you? you should really bring up the issue to your spouse..there might be some issues there that have made it this way
2007-01-06 15:57:37 · answer #11 · answered by ELIZY 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋