my 13 year old daughter and us have talked about boyfriends and dating and i told her she cannot have a boyfriend or date at this time.recently i found out that she has has a boyfriend for a month now behind our back.we havent told her we know.how would you deal with this?
2007-01-06 15:33:21 · 33 answers · asked by dasani 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Is she actually dating, or is her "boyfriend" just a name...someone she calls perhaps on the phone. If that is all, I'd let it go. If she is sneaking around and dating when you think she is elsewhere, a grounding is definitely in order.
You are right. 13 is far too young to be dating. It's best to be firm.
2007-01-06 15:35:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
No thats not odd at all. I'm 14 and have never had a boyfriend nor kissed anyone. Firstly my parents wont let me date, but if i found a guy i would date him anyways but i just havent found anyone that i really meshed with. And from what i've been told i am pretty and im a cheerleader (you know the old cheerleader stereotypes) so most ppl are shocked, not to mention i look way over my actual age. Some ppl just dont meet the right one until wayyyy later on.
2016-05-23 01:46:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well try to meet the guy first. But tell her that you 2 want 2 have a talk (do only one-on-one) and talk to her about boyfriends, if she doesn't tell you at the end tell her you know. And tell her that she can tell you anything and don't be embarrass and don't think that u you will make a big deal. Also tell her you have also been a 13 year old. But really 13 year old boyfriend girlfriend are something not really to worry about its less than puppy love. All can happen is a little kiss.(Not very serious kiss.) But let her experience this, it will pass. Trust me, I know!!!!
2007-01-06 15:44:15 · answer #3 · answered by fitziexox18 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
uh well im only 14 so what do i know? But i think that dating at 13 is alright as long as they dont go to far. Maybe with some restrictions if it makes you feel better. I would tell her that you know and let her know that doing things like that behind your back is not alright but compromise with the dating part. That way, you both win a little bit wile you still keep your authority as a parent.
2007-01-06 18:01:35 · answer #4 · answered by Falling Leaves 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would again explain the rules to her and tell her that I expected HER to take the responsibility of taking care of the issue and being honest with the boy that in fact she is not allowed to have a boyfriend. Then I would make sure that while she was not in school that she did not see this boy. You might start thinking about getting her into some construtive activities such as dance or marital arts to occupy her time because she is finding her own ways of filling up that time and it could lead to a pregnancy filling up her time.
2007-01-06 15:39:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have to re-evaluate the reason why you told her "no boyfriend". As a former teen not too long ago, and you were once one too, you should know to not tell her not to do something. That is a formula in her mind to motivate her actions to do it.
In her mind, why should YOU be the one to decide when she is READY to date.
You need to think of that when she will ask you that most likely.
I would honeslty supervise her and set some rules (ex: Can't be alone, can't go in bedroom and shut the door, talk about the birds and bee's).
2007-01-06 20:07:55 · answer #6 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 13 and i date. how old is this boy? If he is like 12-14 then sure go ahead. If he's older most parents won't like it, but it doesn't mean it's a bad thing. I dated a 16 year old and my mom found out (I hadn't told her) and told me to break up with him. I told him what she said, but I didn't break up with him. Two weeks later or so he broke up with me because of his ex. If I had though she would have let me go out with him then I would have told her. I am still really close friends with him and to me it wasn't a big deal,
2007-01-06 17:03:57 · answer #7 · answered by lovebubbles_1515 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Punish her and tell the parents of the boy. Restrict her time when she is not in your presence, severely. If you don't, she almost certainly will start having sex within in a very short period of time. Since she is only 13, and hence, an idiot, she is very likely to get pregnant, and/or get involved in an extremely negative situation with the boy.
It's real simple. Girls who have parents that force them to delay sexual relationships (boyfriend/girlfriend is ALWAYS a SEXUAL relationship) until an age appropriate time turn out normal while those that do not, end up all screwed up.
2007-01-06 15:38:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
um, 13 year olds can't do much, they have no car, not very much money, they just use the term "boyfriend/girlfriend" to impress their peers. just watch her, i wouldn't let her go to his house alone, he can come to yours only when you or your husband is home. tell her about all the terrible STDs and just keep a close eye on her
don't make a big deal about it. unless you think the boy is bad or dangerous for her to be with, then step in, and if she doesn't like it, she needs to deal with it, your the parents, you've been around the whole dating scene
2007-01-06 15:38:55 · answer #9 · answered by England France 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would hope he is just someone she sees at school or calls on the phone. I would tell her you know about him and ask her why she lied. It is important to build trust between each other or she will continue to lie. I would assume that she is not left unattended with this boy. Dating or seeing the boy especially at this age should be on your terms. In my opinion, she is too young to date anyway.
2007-01-06 15:40:42 · answer #10 · answered by Angela F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋