How do you forget about someone you once loved or still love? How do you move on?

Question

Thank you for all your thoughtful answers.

Answer 1

Interesting question and my answer is from personal experience. Allow yourself to grieve, it will take time. Use your friends for support. It does get easier as time passes. One must remember even though you were in love the other person was not- he/she was not the right one. Give yourself the time to heal, learn, and decide what you do want in a relationship-it will happen when the time is right. Good luck.

Answer 2

Well i myself am going through the same thing, the only thing that really heals you is time. Just remember there is someone way better out there than the person you once loved. You found your love once why shouldnt you be able to love someone else who is probably a better person than the person from last time? Just remember to love yourself more than anyone else in this world because your # 1 and don't you forget it. Always have a high self esteem before entering a relationship and if the person your dating is making you feel uncomfortable or they are nor repsecting you or treating you like crap don't but up with it, it won't be worth it in the end, they are just going to beat you up time and time again. Never be someones whipping boy. Good luck on finding that special someone :) I know you can do it, its just a matter of time.

Answer 3

How do you move on? You wake up in the morning and you get out of bed until you don't have to remind yourself why you have to get up and get out of bed. You listen to the same music station on the radio that you always have, until they no longer play the music that you listened with your ex. You take each day one at a time, until you start planning on next week or next month.
As far as getting over somebody. You never will. I had a fiance who slept with my brother while I was overseas. This didn't happen once, it happened several times over 7 months. I broke off the engagement, disowned my brother, and went on a three day drunk that would put Mel Gibson to shame. I moved on, but it wasn't easy. I have never forgotten her and sometimes think of her and what she is doing and where she is. Part of me still loves her, but could never love her in the way that I did.
Try watching the movie Sleepless in Seattle. There is a part when Tom Hanks is talking on the phone to the radio doctor and telling her about his wife that died of cancer and what he has done since her death. I know that it sounds like a chick flick, but it has some really deep meaning in it, that you may get and be able to use.
Good luck to you. I know that it is hard. The best way to start living your life again, is to change things around you. IF you are still living in the same place and things are decorated the way she had it, change it or replace the furniture. Change the pictures, the bathroom, the kitchen. Paint the whole house the colors that you want to paint them, just so you can say that those are your colors.
It is hard and only time can heal a broken heart.

Answer 4

It's not easy. If you are looking for practical, day-to-day applications, the first thing you should do is have zero contact with the person. None. That means no phone calls, no accidentally "running into" them in the street if they live in the same area, no messaging, no websites. No contact. Do this for 60 days. If it is something you are having trouble with, tackle the specific problem. Do you want to phone them? Then get the phone out of your house during vulnerable times. Do you want to go to websites and track them, look at their postings or whatever? Then go to different websites if you must stay at your computer. (Come to Answers here and help other people with their problems--it works!)

The next thing is to get some physical exercise -- anything. Walking, biking, parking further away from normal and walking to your destination, jogging, swimming, weightlifting -- anything. It will improve your mood, improve the way your body looks, and boost your self-esteem. It will also eat up time you may use just ruminating about the person.

Presumably, you are not seeing anyone else. That's okay. Take advantage of this time being single and alone. You can do what you want, when you want. Make your own schedule. PLan activities you wouldn't normally do. Go see a classical music concert if you've never done it. Go to a museum or browse in a bookstore. Just get out and keep yourself active. Because the next time you meet someone, it may be "the one," and you will have a lot less free time available for yourself. Put that spin on it, and you will start valuing your alone time a lot more.

Write in a journal if it helps. If it keeps you ruminating on the person, don't do it. Do the opposite of what you "want" to do. If you want to wallow in bed all day, get up and out of bed. If you want to eat junk food, eat veggies and fruits instead. Or don't eat at all. If you don't feel like exercising, exercise. If you want to call them, text them, or whatever, contact them - DON'T DO IT. Do the opposite. Don't do it.

Focus on the negative aspects of the relationship. We all have them. No relationship is perfect. It's not being an a**hole, it's looking at the relationship through reality-based vision. What didn't work? What grated on your nerves? What did you wish the person hadn't done? Or did that they didn't do? Make a list. Write it all down. Keep looking at it.

Hope this helps. See a therapist or counselor if you EVER feel overwhelmed or out of control of your feelings. Good luck. You will get past this and come out the other side stronger. The main thing is NO CONTACT for 60 days. This is crucial. There is something magical about the 60 days - it gives you enormous "distance" out from the person and you will be much much stronger in that time. If necessary, download a free monthly calendar off the Web and mark off each day that you have no contact. Aim for one full week of red X's on your calendar. Do it again for another week, if you have to. And another. It shows your progress. It's solid evidence that you are moving forward.

Keep us posted!

Answer 5

Why would you want to forget someone who has been a part of your life? Cherish those memories. You had a great friend. If you cannot have a relationship with this person, than you need to accept it, and begin to move forward in life, pursuing your goals and preparing for the future. Looking for new friends. It is not good for you to be stuck in the past by something or someone. If this was a big loss to you, than you need to grieve. Do you let yourself cry? If not, start letting yourself. Crying is how your soul lets loose of stuff. It may take a little while. Don't let yourself be consumed with that past relationship. Get your brain focused on moving forward. Get involved with others and pursue your interests. It gets better, I promise. Its a waste of life to stay stuck. Hope this helps. :)

Answer 6

You dont. You can give your heart away, but you cant take it back. A piece of your heart will always remember, and always love. A piece of that hurt will be there for the rest of your live. Its not going away. It can diminish, and you can come to terms with it, but you cant make it stay and you cant make it go away.

Moving on isnt an event, its a process, and while you are alive, and have a living beating heart, it is never fully completed. You are left with either living in pain, or making yourself not feel - but if you choose to not feel eventually you will discover the hard way that not feeling at all hurts worse than feeling only pain.

Answer 7

I dont think that you will ever forget someone that you once loved. They still have a piece of your heart. The only thing that you can do is not go around them anymore... and let time make it better.

Answer 8

great question. well if you really loved them, then you'll never forget them or stop loving them. they were an important part of you and your heart, so you shouldn't stop thinking or caring about them. moving on will be the hard part. your mind says go but, your heart say no. best thing you can do is understand this and take things at your own pace. whether it's hour by hour, or day by day. lastly, keep busy, this will keep your mind fresh and engaged. things will be ok, they say everyone get's 2 loved ones in a lifetime. good luck and aloha.

Answer 9

You can never forget it but you can make it history...the same problem introduced me here at yahoo answers...I was griefing so badly and i see no else but that person....then i started to ask things here and there and i took all their advises and followed them one after the other...as time passed by i noticed that i think about it less and i began to open my heart and let others help me heal it...i started seing friends and entertained flings....One encounter led me to a serious relationship and i was so thankful that it all happened...now i am laughing about it....for about 4 times, we crossed into each others path again...at first i was excited but being with the 1 i love now, he became a thing of the past...what is more rewarding is that he is trying to get me back and i feel sorry for him.



Do you realize who is in this image: http://clip24h.com/who.jpg . Just think for a moment and tell me soon ;))

Answer 10

i dont thinku can forget anyone that u love or have loved before... but u can move on with life and that will always remain a memory... for me, i was really in love with my ex.. but my jealousy got the better of me everytime and in the end, he couldn't handle the pressure i was giving him and took off... tat was almost 5 years ago... i was living with the memories and will cry or feel anger... i kept everything that reminds me of him and the relationship.. even though he moved on, i went thru the phase of life with his memory... i got married recently to another man who loves me and even though i love him, my ex will always remain in my memory.. a week before my wedding, i threw away all the things that i have which reminds me of my ex.. it was painful but hey at least i feel much better.. then i realised now tat i have moved on as well.. but he's still not forgotten cos,, he was part of my past and the past makes me wat i am today....