These guys that proclaim that they were once gay and now have found God and they are heterosexual. Isn't that unfair to the woman they are having sex with and dating? Does anyone believe that those feeling's completely dissipate?
2007-01-06 15:27:56 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
This bewilders me becuase how then can people say it's a choice?
2007-01-06 15:49:58 · update #1
ALL of these ex gay programs have been found to be fraudulent.
2007-01-06 15:30:16 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 7⤊ 6⤋
Sexuality itself is somewhat of a fluid thing. Kinsey believed that all people fell somewhere on a scale from completely heterosexual to completely homosexual but that most fell somewhere inbetween. I think that societal pressure more than anything shapes how the natural occurance of ones sexuality will form. This pressure can definitely be tied to the "church" and the need of the "church" to have a certain level of conformity across the board. I do believe that some people figure out that they are more attracted to the opposite sex and choose to at that time pursue a heterosexual lifestyle but that means that they are simply "ignoring" same sex indentifications and connections. I do not believe in choosing to be gay or straight but I do believe that people who may not identify, but are bisexual, will choose to assume the life of the current romantic situation he or she is in. So to answer your question I don't think it's a matter of a gay person becoming an ex gay but rather someone choosing conformity and acceptance over the ridicule and difficulties of living and out and proud life. The longing for a same sex relationship will never go away no matter how long they maintain the appearance of a heterosexual person.
2007-01-06 16:15:01 · answer #2 · answered by logansgirl101 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am foolish enough to believe. Only because i do believe homosexuality is a choice, such as lying, stealing, other (and i know I will get in trouble here, but) deviant behavior. I feel that some behaviors are deep rooted, such as smoking cigs. or drinking alcohol (becoming addicted). I believe in the power of the human will.
I think we do a terrible disservice to resort to name calling, but I do know of a few people personally who lived homosexual, bi-sexual lifestyle, and decided to give it up. The majority did rely and/or contribute the power to do so to God.
Final Thought: If we are to accept people for being "gay" and leave them alone because they are happy in this lifestyle, then why do we get up in arms, when someone chooses to walk away from this lifestyle.
Heterosexuals walk away from relationships and turn to celibacy, so why not?
2007-01-06 16:24:11 · answer #3 · answered by Wise ol' owl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two of the ones I've heard profess to this were later arrested in restrooms for leud behavior with other men. Other celebrated ones have said it is a hoax.
I feel the rest are probably unstable individuals, and only years later will the truth actually come out of how they lived their lives.
In most cases, once you determine you are gay, you are. Most have a choice of celibacy, if they wish; but never a happy "normal" heterosexual lifelong relationship. The guidelines would be your age when you gave up gay life plus ten years in a happy heterosexual relationship, and you might consider yourself "cured". Maybe.
Most have just moved back into their closet of lies and deception.
2007-01-06 15:36:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
They were either not gay to begin with or are lying to themselves in order to feel accepted. Of course it is unfair to the women that they are with; when Ted Haggard was exposed for his gay affair I truly felt sorry for his wife and children since they were not the cause of his feeling the need to hide his sexual attraction and the blame should be placed where it belongs, on those who say it is a choice. Ted Haggard chose to be straight, but he couldn't stay true to his choice because it was not a choice to begin with, it is an attraction that cannot be changed or altered. Same thing with Florida Congressman Mark Foley, and Idaho Congressman Larry Craig, and Arizona Congressman Jim Kolbe.
2007-01-06 15:42:07 · answer #5 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I love how they compare it to alcoholism left and right, but then call themselves "ex-gays". I've always heard that alcoholics are always alcoholics...
That said, even the leaders can't agree on what exactly the programs DO. What is "straight"? They tend to view "gay" as a behavior, and ignore the actual orientation. And, they also tend to neglect to mention this to people who come to them looking to "change", which is obviously really unfair to people. That's not even getting into the number it does on one's head. It's all REALLY screwed up.
2007-01-06 20:26:46 · answer #6 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ex-gays are those who have undergone "therapy" in order to SUPRESS their feelings of attraction for the same gender. Many programs have strayed away from changing sexual orientation to simply suppressing those feelings and encouraging celibacy. These programs are strongly discouraged by the American Psychological Association and most professional medical associations. Their extremely low long-term sucess rate (ca. 5%) and the severe risk of psychological and potentially physical harm render this kind of therapy unacceptable. In fact, one prominent ex-gay who co-authored a book with Dr. Laura Schlesinger is now gay again with a partner ... go figure.
Suppression of feelings is completely achievable through psychological manipulation and training. Pavlov managed to get his dogs to salivate at the ring of a bell. These ex-gay methods use anything from twelve step, to snapping yourself with a rubber band everytime you feel attraction to a person of the same sex (how pavlovian). One could shift the sexual attraction of a straight male using the same methods. By the same token of logic used by these ex-gay folk I could say that heterosexuality is intrinsically disordered because they can be trained to be attracted to people of the same sex (which must be natural ...)
Stay away from ex-gay therapy. It's dangerous, it's a waste of time and money.
2007-01-06 15:59:35 · answer #7 · answered by OrthoAng 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I really support the ex-gay ministry. It always amazes me that gay are always trying to get straights into bed but claim that they are " born that way" and are " gay forever"and that you can't walk away from being gay. if you can jump the fence one way, you can jump the fence the other way. From the information I've read on the ex-gay movement it is growing by leaps and bounds. Thousands of ex-gays are living happily straight lives now. why can't people just be happy for them instead of maligning them.
2007-01-06 18:56:59 · answer #8 · answered by curethegays 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've never met an ex gay, but the gay people I do know I wouldn't like any other way except the way God made them (gay)
2007-01-06 15:44:45 · answer #9 · answered by gitsliveon24 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ted Haggard faulted.
In my opinion one just can't deny what G-d meant them to be. They can only be the best gay person they can be, and leave the rest to the afterlife. Why live your life in denial of who you are in order to prepare for an afterlife of regret? G-d wouldn't be that cruel and clain He loves all of us. That would be a lie. Perfect beings don't lie.
2007-01-06 15:43:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I believe that it could happen...may that was a phase they were going through or just experimenting...i believe someone can experiment then confess there sins and become completely heterosexual through prayer..... I believe if you pray for God to help you stop acting upon these homosexual thoughts or even actions you can stop
2007-01-06 15:32:37 · answer #11 · answered by jark79 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋