My dad treated me like this my whole life am i abnormal to hate him and do i need counseling ?my mom said so?

Question

is extreme yelling the type that also sacres other people's kids and adults too (and other kids start don't lyk him either) and i mean th motherfuckin crap otu of u considered emotional abuse? my dad treated me this way my whole life and i hate him (so does my cuz and maybe our younger cuzs 2) i'm not describing it in detail and u haven't seen it but it is much worse than it sounds well now i don't have to live with him but i still have to see him so another question i have is wut do i do? i'm not 18 so i can't move out yet. plz plz help!!!

and another eally important question i needed to know is if this is emotional abuse then don't i have a right to hate my dad and wanting to breaki of contact w/ him when i can i get sooo mcuh **** from my family from it it's soo hard! he's ruined my persoanlity so i can't stand up for myself and any normal person is scared of him he's even trying to control my mom and they're SEPERATED i wonder wut he's gonna do to me when i grow up plz help

Answer 1

Get all the counseling you can as it really helps you to deal with all those negative emotions that you have surrounding your mother and dad. I wish that I had the opportunity when I was your age I think that I would have make a lot better decisions and had a happier time of it. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

If I were you I would tell someone at school like a counselor and have them contact children's services, they can help. As for hating your dad, I am sure right now you do. Your dad sounds like you, what I mean is he was probably treated the same way when he was younger and just thinks he was made to be that way. If he accepts how he is and is aware of the abuse then it's his fault not his parents'. I know you are young and want things to be better. The first step you need to make after seeking help from someone (perhaps counseling) is to accept you have a choice to be better than your dad, resist the urge to allow him to "ruin my personality so I can't stand up for myself". Don't try to stand up to him, you will put yourself in harms way. What I am saying is don't let his crappy treatment of you spill into other areas of your life. I am sure you have good qualities, have things to offer friends and can be closer to your other family members. Make a decision to get help and be the best person you can be. Ask God to help you and show you the life he wants you to have as an adult. He doesn't want you to suffer and will help you get through. He also has a plan for you and doesn't want you to waste your life on hate, blame or isolation. Things can get better and you can make some changes. I know you are young but you do have some power. Will pray for you and your family, seek help.

Answer 3

Yelling is an unconstructive way of expression when it comes to kids, there are better ways to handle yourself than act innapropriate, some people don't learn this and when they have children it affects them. You should probably watch the way you speak, it's sounds terrible... that's just a side not. You don't have to live w/ him, thats good, becuase yelling in a negative way and saying mean innapropriate things to someone just to break them down is emotional abuse. Ask your mom if you can stop seeing him becuase you don't think it's good for you (if that's the case). You should never hate, but you dont HAVE to like your father, some people get put in bad situations that they can't help or fix and separating yourself from the negative entity is the answer in some cases If your family doesn't understand, try to explain it, if they still don't, then maybe its hopeless and you should move on, but in the end YOU know that you did what was GOOD for YOU. He didn't ruin YOUR personality, you control you, people can overcome bad circumstances they're put in, so chin up and be the best person you can be. Let people who do bad things be example for how you DON"T want to be.

Answer 4

No, you're not abnormal at all. If your father's treating you badly, then of course you will be hurt, and possibly even hate him. Your mom is right, though: you should get counseling, particularly if you have to live with him until you're 18. You should get it not to stop hating your dad, which would be a denial of your feelings and not healthy, but so that you can work through your feelings and also working on building your confidence back up.

You have a right to your feelings, whatever they are. Talk (scream, cry, yell) with a therapist, spend as much time away from home as possible doing school activities and hanging with friends, and plan for what happens when you do turn eighteen.

Answer 5

You have the right to feel the way you feel and is perfectly healthy to hate him. Now use all that anger, all that energy into becoming a better person for your own benefit. Based on your choices and your ability to have goals you will become a better person with a much brighter future that both your parents together.

Remember: No one can choose their parents but you can choose what/who you want to become. You have a choice to pity yourself or to get up and move on. Your father is a lost case (ignore him). If this is hard for you to deal with than therapy can help. Do not forget that you have to do all the hard work and your therapist/counselor are just going to guide you. You have to be willing to make miracles happen. You will have a much brighter future than this one.

Answer 6

Hey, take a deep breath, and breathe.

1. Yes, it's important to reach out to help you deal with times others treat you badly.

2. It's important to help you forgive.
Forgiveness is a gift to yourself. It lets you off the hook from having left over anger. It allows you to go on and move forward for your important future.

3. You will feel better, and then JOY can come back into our life.

4. It helps you to get the focus back on your wants and wishes about your future. It takes the focus off others, and helps you to take responsibility for your life.

5. Make a "what's bugging me" list - and tell it all.
6. Make a list of your wants, wishes, dreams and accomplishments.
7. Take the what's bugging me list, tear it up, and throw it away.
It helped you to face what's really on your mind, all of the fears and things and thoughts of abandonment. Now when stuff gets you stuck in life, make the list again, and now you know what to do with it.
You have a right to a Rocking Relationship. You can't have that in the future if you hate other people.
You have a right to hate their actions - but not be focused on them.

GOD bless us one and all, always.
CPA-retired
MBA-Boston Univ.

Answer 7

You and your mother should both get counseling, and your dad needs anger management counseling. Its all right for you to have anger and fell hurt, but at some point and time you need to let it go. Move away from who your father is, so you can find out who you are. You don't have to be like him, and you don't have to put up with him. Hating him only hurts you, try to let go of it and be the better person. A good book to read is "Anatomy of The Spirit" by Caroline Muss, PH.D. another book to read by same author is "Why people Don't Heal and How They Can". She talks about letting go of hurt and anger and how this is a healing for you. The books helped me.

Answer 8

Well stand up like a man and hate your dad, but make sure your hate don't transfer to other people. I hated my dad but grew up normal and when He died I really did not care. He had his chance and blew it.

Watch it if you ever get married cuz most guys abused by their dad will do exactly the same thing to their spouse.

Answer 9

All I can say is pray. I've been in relationships worse than yours being beat everyday of your life is not a good feeling but I prayed and it eventually stopped.

Answer 10

I think you should break the contract. No child deserves to go through what your apperently going through. And are you being literally "forced" to go to your dads? If so, you should have really mentioned that. Don't worry, you'll get through this.