before i was married when i was ingaged i had the best time with my fiancay than after we got married he changed alot like i married som1 else.he doesnt talk to me he just ignores me and never took me out to a movie or dinner nothing like that.i just stay home and my mother-inlaw is soo mean and soo JEALOUS of me. she doesnt want me to feel like im married to her son.she screams at me.i get disrespected by my husbans mother and him.i try to tell my husnband how painful i feel about this marriage. i just clean the house like a made for the family of my husband & i just stay home.my brother tells me so many times to divorce that ************ before its too late to find another husband to have a great life with.but i love him too much even if he doesnt treat me as a wife.my mom keeps telling me to not be scared and stop being shy and talk to your husband stand up for yourself.but im just too shy and scared to tell my husband what should i do?
he has a cell phone store but doesnt buy me1
2007-01-06 14:21:38 · 8 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have to say I agree w/ your mother. It takes 2 for a marriage to work and just because there is a marriage license doesnt mean you can treat your spouse disrespectful like this. Do you really want to be in this marriage like it is now and some day you will end up having kids and if this isnt straightened out now think how they will end up treating you like this same as their father and grandmother. You need to talk to your husband and find out what is going on why he is treating you this way and whats up w/ his mother it sounds like she needs to bud out and let you 2 have a marriage life. Your brother is right you are a good person and worthy of love and respect dont live the rest of your life this way. In a marriage you should be happy and he should make you feel like the most beautiful and greatest woman he has ever met. You in my opinion deserve better. You do what you feel is right but i guarantee that if this doesnt get any better that if you free yourself from this that you will find love again and he will make you feel like a million bucks. You put your foot down woman you dont deserve this and if he loses you its his fault because he hasnt been that husband you need him to be let him have it and when it all blows up in his face and you walk out flip[ his mother the bird and say take that you stupid ***** whoa I am getting mouthy excuse my language. I wish you luck and think about what i said you are worthy of a good man if this doesnt work out.
2007-01-06 14:36:48 · answer #1 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie your brother is probably right.I am not one whom takes marriage lightly.And I really don't even like the D word (divorce).But I have been married a long time and I am quite sure on how it is supposed to work and the things you are saying aren't right.There is always an adjustment period that all married couples go through. But that isn't what you are discribing here.You need to remember one thing we teach people how to treat us.If you let him treat you like crap now he always will.If you make a stand now and require him to show you respect.Things will be easier in the long run.If you let him and his mother treat you pourly now they always will.Besides a big part of love and marriage is respect.I do not believe you can truly love someone you don't respect.They go hand and hand.I understand about you being shy because I am not an outgoing person myself not by a long shot.But I was fortunate enough to have had enough selfesteem and selfworth instilled in me that I knew not to let people treat me pourly.I was taught to stand up for myself no matter how hard it was or how scary.My friends and female realitives always asked me how I managed to get such a wonderful man.How did I get someone who loves and respects me so much.And they keep getting stuck with a**holes who treat them like crap.I tell them the same thing I'm going to tell you.Don't ask for respect command it.And do not take any crap off of any one especially a man.You must let them know that treating you like anything less than the wonderful person you are will not be tolerated.If the man you are with doesn't do anything to help your situation he is hurting it.And you could do better on your own.You husband should treat you like his princess not his maid.If he won't then go out and find one that will.
2007-01-06 14:47:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is strange but disrespecting you is no way to live a life. You have to be happy and if you are not you need to be strong and move on. My ex-girlfriend (before she was my ex) told me a story about her past. She met a guy and got engage. Once she got engage, he was controlling, she could not go out with her friends or doing anything else but cook, clean and work. This is no life for a person to live. Does he think you are the Cinderella without the prince? He is a mama's boy. You need to do this for yourself before it's too late. If you don't leave him now, you will look back 10 years from now and say why did I waste 10 years of life with such a loser. You love him, I believe you but love goes both ways: to give and receive. It's an equal marriage. So be strong and move on, you will be happier and you will find a guy who loves you as an equal. Good Luck!
2007-01-06 14:40:55 · answer #3 · answered by Paul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, things do tend to change after marriage, some of the things he did before you were married he probably doesn't feel he has to do anymore now that he "has" you....it's a pretty common problem. HOWEVER, the mother in law issues with yelling at you and the disrespect shown to you by her and your husband, should not be acceptable.
I would have a serious talk w/your husband, give him the chance to listen to your problem and if he chooses to ignore your feelings then I would have some consequences for his choice in doing that. Whether it be stopping being his "maid", leaving him, whatever....
2007-01-06 14:26:42 · answer #4 · answered by Blue Eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't have to put up with it and a person who loves somebody does not treat them like that,if your husband really loves u he would take you out of there so his mom doesn't treat you bad. but you would have to want to do it nobody can do it for you, you need to have a strait talk with him and ask him if he wants to loose you because the way he is treating you is just going to make you want to leave him , I always say if your man doest treat you like a princess then kick him out the door there are lots of good men out there that want to have a nice marriage. but is your choice
2007-01-06 14:50:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave him, you sould like too decent of a person to put up with that.
2007-01-06 14:32:30 · answer #6 · answered by Jem 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how can you love someone who is so mean to you? and lets his family treat you like that? you need to leave his *** and go on with your life!
2007-01-06 14:28:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is right.....if you don't stand up for yourself, no one else will.
I hope the best for you......
2007-01-06 14:26:21 · answer #8 · answered by Kiss My Shaz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋