My son told me today he is going to be a teenage father. He is 17, Junior. His girlfriend is 18, senior.
2007-01-06 13:54:59 · 54 answers · asked by Stingray 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I think the only thing you can do is talk to him calmly about it , for if you over react then so will they. You need to help him realize that school is even more important to finish now than ever before cause he will need to find a good job to help support his new family. Tell him that if he needs you that you are there for him
2007-01-06 13:57:08 · answer #1 · answered by Amazing_clarity 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all I think everyone who is leaving ridiculous answers are just plain rude!
And second I think the best thing you can do is be supportive, having a baby as a teen mother I know how hard it is to face the fact of telling your parents in the first place, let alone dealing with what they are going to say/do. I think you should let him know no matter what you love him and you will stand by him through everything, and tell him how important it is to stand by the girlfriends side as well. I was soo scared in the beging and it meant the WORLD to me having my parents and his, support and love. It's already a stressful time and place in life there is nothing better to do than make the best out of it. And trust me he'll pay when those, every 2 hour, all through the night feedings come around! haha I would also encourage completing high school as well. You should go give him a big hug and tell him everything you love him, grandma!! :-) Best wishes. And Good luck !!
2007-01-06 14:25:54 · answer #2 · answered by Brittnee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You better explain to him the FACTS of life. He got her pregnant. HE, and ONLY HE, is financially responsible for the child and child support. (You are NOT). He has choices but these are the ones he does NOT have. He cannot get out of the financial support unless he signs away his parental rights. Otherwise he is on the hook until the child graduates college. He needs to finish his education WHILE he holds down a full time job and then go to college so he will have a decent income after he gets out. If he was mature enough to s*rew her, he has to have the balls to support her. Don't you do it. (help the grandchild maybe but not him or her). He is about to learn what reality is.
P.S. He needs a DNA test to verify paternity in case there is any question about that. If the girl won't agree he will have to go to court for that.
2007-01-06 14:12:32 · answer #3 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunatley, You should just accept it. He is not a child anymore and lets face the fact kids r having kids younger than him. Let him know what responsiblities and disadvantages he is going to have. Help him to become a good father. His life is not over, I am single mom of two, who is in college, works a full time job, and I have my own apt. He can do everything he ever wanted it just might take him a little longer. The most important thing is for him to be there for their child NO MATTER WHAT, Show everyone that he can be a responsible adult and parent at his age.
2007-01-06 14:00:33 · answer #4 · answered by Kadija T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the horse is already out of the barn, so to speak. Now all you can do is offer support.
If you really think they cannot handle a baby, you might suggest gently that they consider placing the child for adoption. However, they are old enough to decide for themselves what they want to do, and if they want to keep the baby and raise it, then all you can do is roll with that.
However, please keep in mind that if your son and his girl decide to keep the baby, you are not required to support them financially, or take on the burden of raising the child. You can be a grandparent, and do the things that a grandparent does, but if they decide to take on the responsibility of being parents, let it rest on their shoulders. They could have avoided the situation, so be supportive, and compassionate, but let them deal with it themselves.
I wish you the best.
And by the way, if my 17-year-old son told me he was going to be a Daddy, I would probably faint, then cry when I woke up.
2007-01-06 13:59:29 · answer #5 · answered by Bronwen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ask him what he plans on doing about it. is he planning on raising the child and getting married? just raising the child? adoption? get the information that he might not have even thought about yet. make him make a solid plan for what he and his girlfriend would like to do. i know someone who had a child in highschool, and married the father. she graduated #3, and went on to Baylor university....of course, her first year her child stayed with her mother while she visited every weekend, and the father joined the army.....does he luv his girlfriend? etc...of course, u do all of this after u get to be extremely angry--ps, whoever said statutory rape lied. from the age of 15-17, someone 3 years older, who's like a boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't count as rape. also, many states consent age is actually 17
2007-01-06 15:03:06 · answer #6 · answered by Jessicat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would die, but theres nothing I could do about it. I got pregnant at 17 ( my hubby then boyfriend was 20) and even though my parents were worried about how my life would turn out they supported me and I moved out as soon as my son was born and life has turned out really well for me. It's not the end of the world but things won't be easy for them. Try to give them support but not too much or you may end up raising the child on your own like many parents of teenage parents.
2007-01-06 13:58:35 · answer #7 · answered by Me 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Yikes since i have grown sons ,i can almost feel what your felling but..We as parents have to support them and may even end up raising there kids..There's no sense being hard on him now,its done ..Make sure he understand this is his responsibility for the rest of his life with or without the girl,he has to pay support,and talk to them both,and if shes willing be there for her also.that's how i would handle it,but i had to deal with ,they got pregnant and had a a abortion for they both realized they were not ready,this bothered me but only because it was my grandchild but for them ..i think it was the right decision..and yes a tough one
2007-01-06 14:03:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not to be to hard on him hes at a young age and arguing is not going to solve anything.
So when you talk make sure its not a hateful thing make it into a caring situation where you all can talk about it.
Hes only 17 he could get a part time job to support the baby but its gonna take more than that could you help him with money.
adoption is a option and please don't abort it ...
I used to work with a lady that got raped and she was thinking about it but she decided to keep it and she is glad she did.
Good luck and may you and your family grow stronger ..
2007-01-06 14:09:28 · answer #9 · answered by frank c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a sad thing that children don't use precautions in the heat of the moment or realize that one night of pleasure and bring on a lifetime of responsibilities, support him , it's to late for the lectures now and he needs your support , since he hasn't has enough life experience to be a good father. besides it will be your grandchild
2007-01-06 15:02:34 · answer #10 · answered by Abby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋