My fiance found out recently that his ex wife had told his children that he is not their biological father. He is wondering if he will have to keep paying child support if they are not, and what he will need to do to get them tested. He knows of fathers who have had to keep paying regardless. He is very upset and heartbroken, but does not want to remain a slave to his ex wife if he is not their father. Please advise if you have any insight or advice on where he can get some legal advice. Thanks!
2007-01-06 13:45:25 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
To add some detail, he feels like a slave because his ex wife makes him miserable and was laughing about him not being the father. His child support in the past has supported her bad habits more than the children's needs.
The children seem to have no desire to even be with him now. They show him no respect. He is crushed because he gave up everything to raise these children (and they are teenagers, not small children) in his home for the last 6 months and now all of this is happening to him.
2007-01-06 13:55:13 · update #1
Your fiance needs to consult an attorney. Just because his ex-wife told the kids that doesn't mean it's true; she might be lying to them. There will need to be a paternity test, and if he really is not the father, then there will need to be some sort of court order that he no longer is responsible for child support.
(Have him ask the attorney also if he can recover child support that he was fraudulently compelled to pay. In other words, if the ex-wife knew he was not the father, but lied to the court in order to make your fiance pay, then he might be able to get damages against her. Either way, she'll be in trouble.)
2007-01-06 13:51:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you're in Canada (as I am) or the U.S, but I did find this site/article that may be helpful. It explains how the Canadian court system(s) are not consistent when it comes to the matter of what they call "paternity fraud", in which the biological mother lies to a man claiming him to be the father of her child(ren), or at the very least has good reason to believe he is the father.
I'll let you look over it and you can get your own perspectives on it. Personally I found the article both highly infomative, as well as thought provoking. As the case went to 2 different judges, and 2 completely opposite rulings were made, I think it really gives insight into the possible outcome of future cases similar to the one mentioned. As for getting tested, the only thing I can think of would be to speak to a doctor. Explain what's happening with the child support, and see if you should get a lawyer involved to be there when the results are ready.
In the end, I hope that regardless of DNA or support payments, your fiance can still have regular visits with the children. I don't blame him for wanting to be rid of his ex; she sounds cruel and manipulative to tell her kids that "Daddy isn't really their Daddy" (if you know what I mean). But the feelings of the children need to be considered as well, I can only imagine they are beyond devastated about the whole situation. In fact, they'll probably need him now more than ever before, so as to have one parent who is mature, loving and nurturing instead of one who is detrimental and negative.
I wish you, your fiance, and his children the best. My prayers are with you all, and I hope things will work out in the end. =)
PS- Hadn't read that last part about the additional info before leaving an answer, so I apologise for that. However, I hope I can still be of some help as the case in the article deals with a 13 year old. =)
2007-01-06 14:46:33 · answer #2 · answered by parseltongue82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best person to ask is an attorney with expertise in family law. My understanding (admittedly not authoritative, so feel free to be skeptical) is that if the husband had some reason to think the children were not his before the divorce, but continued to care for them, he has effectively acknowledged them and is liable for support. If he can make an effective case that he thought the children were his and has only now suspected otherwise, he can file a petition for relief. He's going to be on the hook for alimony either way, though. Bear in mind that denial of paternity means not only a chance to be relieved of child support, but if approved may also mean giving up claims for custody or visitation; this might be something to keep in mind if he's attached to the kids.
2007-01-06 13:55:14 · answer #3 · answered by dukefenton 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they are not actually his biological children he probably will not have to keep paying. If he is heartbroken because the children are not his, then he should keep paying and insist on a liberal visitation schedule because the children need him. Paying child support does not make one a slave, only a responsible adult.
One can always get legal advice from a lawyer.
2007-01-06 13:49:52 · answer #4 · answered by Concerned Citizen 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This depends on the state law. There are places where it does not matter if he is. If it has been going on long enough and the kids consider him their father and it is in the best interest of the kids the judge could rule that he has to keep paying. But he will have a great grounds for a case not to have to pay anymore. As many have said consult an attorney
2007-01-06 13:54:47 · answer #5 · answered by David 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sure he is not wanting to break off contact with the children since that would affect them deeply..... but I would say he goes to the courts and tell them what she told him. He will then get tested and probably not have to pay child support since he was decieved. Some states say if the man is married to a woman at the time she gives birth he is automatically the legal father. I guess it varies.
2007-01-06 13:49:17 · answer #6 · answered by Me 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, this woman needs psychological help. Anyone who would say something like that to a child about a man they have looked to as a father figure and been led to believe is their father should not be raising kids. As far as your fiance is concerned, I would question why he is more concerned about the question of his continued financial obligation than he is about the childrens' well being. Are you considering having children with this person? Don't expect those kids to be treated any differently than he treats the kids from his first marriage.
2007-01-06 13:51:45 · answer #7 · answered by rufus_rob 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope ... not legally. He will need to go to the court that set the child support payments (most likely family court) and get the court to order a DNA test, which he most likely will have to pay for himself .. but it'll be FAR FAR less than the cost of making child support payments for 18 years ... so definitely do it.
Once the test comes back it will be 99.97% certain that he is or isn't the father. If he isn't the father the court will cancel the support payments.
2007-01-06 13:50:03 · answer #8 · answered by Informed1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you call your local Child Support Enforcement Agency they can get the test ordered for you and the way it will work (at least for me) The father had to pay and if he was proven NOT to be the father then I had to repay him for the testing. I would call your case worker over your child support case and tell them you want a Paternity test done on the children. I would pay for the testing to be safe and it could possible save you THOUSANDS of dollars.
2007-01-06 13:50:35 · answer #9 · answered by cmsmith114 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
His x is an evil beach.
He probably loves the kids very much and to them although he might not be their father he is and will always be their daddy.
Why doesn't the hoe get child support from the real father or fathers?
The hoe x wife should be despised by her kids as well for being the lying, cheating hoe that she is.
2007-01-06 14:01:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋