In order to get my significant other of 2 years to understand important issues(like trust and faith) I have to break up with him. Then after a few days of spite and silence he finally understands where I am coming from. Well we just had a break up ovet the fact the he does not care that I don't trust him. According to him he hasn't done anything to lose it (he did three times), so he doesn't have to care. He didn't cheat or anything but close enough. Anyway this time I'm not sure if I wanna go back, even if he does finally understand. Should I keep up the breakup cycle or stay away? Help.
2007-01-06 13:38:55 · 17 answers · asked by peachyprincess07 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Take this from a preson that has been in this for 3 years, but known him for 12 years. For 3 years I have tried to live with this preson and if not every 3 to 6 months there is some kind of sneaky thing he's doing. Even to the point of him not coming for home days and claming to be with his friends getting drunk and not knowing how to come back home without me fussing. I have gone thur women on his cell phone to having to put my foot down about alot of things. I want out because i'm tired of having to prove I'm right and he is untrustworthy. He too have always clamed to be faithful, even when I've caught him red handed. Stay out while you are out. Don't wait to accumilate property together and that makes it hard to walk away. I'm ready to walk so while you're out stay out. When you're gone, he'll miss you and he'll have all these lies to tell you to make u want to beleive what he say, but he'll never change. He's the type that have issues with himself and he need a varity of women to validate him. Love him from a distant. That mean you have to save yourself. Soon you will hate him. I never thought I could hate anyone, but I really hate and love him. I think you could except it better if they would just admit their faults, but it's the on going lies that drive me crazy and the fact that they have their women on the side and yet they want to stay in your face. It would be nice if they just left. You could close that chapter if he just '' skip to my lou''
2007-01-06 14:19:25 · answer #1 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop the breakup cycle! You are only hurting yourself and prolonging the inevitable. Leave him for good... It's a very bad sign if he does not even care whether or not you trust him. That can lead to him not even caring if he breaks your trust at all...And if you had any intention of marrying this guy, that should be a deal breaker. A marriage is only strong if trust is both involved, and HIGHLY valued by both parties. You deserve better. I know that it is hard to leave a relationship that you've been involved with for so long, but once you finally muster up the strength to do it, you will look back and feel so good that you made the right decision. I know that from personal experience. Good luck! : )
2007-01-06 22:28:40 · answer #2 · answered by Melody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do in this situation is to talk it out with him, if not already done, with a nuetral 3rd party. There are some excellent relationship counsellors out there. My wife and I have gone through and and are still going through some major trust issues but we have chosen to stay together. I did some devious and irresponsible things to make her feel this way. The only way he can understand is by making the effort to change and improve but it can't be for you, it has to be for himself. Make him aware that even if the relationship ends that the things he has done (or still doing) that are affecting your trust in him have not really changed or have not appeared to. Actions are more strong than words. If he won't see it or you feel he hasn't changed then the best advice is to end it and stay single for a while. Sort out yourself before you commit to someone else or you are doomed to repeat the same situation.
2007-01-06 23:36:41 · answer #3 · answered by paul_e74 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to take a cold, hard look at the status of your relationship. The fact that you no longer trust him--red flag. The fact that you have to break up with him to get him to listen--red flag. The fact that he doesn't care that you don't trust him--BIG RED FLAG. You have to look at the long-term. If you can't talk, then you have communication issues. If he has messed up, with no remorse for his actions, he sounds like an emotional sociopath. Nothing matters until it directly affects him. That is like living with an emotional black hole, and it will destroy you in the end. You may need some counseling to do it, but it seems like you need to leave him completely alone. Good luck and God bless.
2007-01-06 21:49:09 · answer #4 · answered by Judy W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stay away!! if he has come VERY close to cheating AND you have proof that he did then you have nothing to go back to. Only you know how close he was to cheating but since you have obviously left more than once and he is looking elsewhere for his companionship then there is little chance you two are going to make this a long term relationship. Why waste more time???
2007-01-06 21:53:26 · answer #5 · answered by T 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can never have better if you keep following in the same cycle. You guys break up over real issues. Things that are important for your future. You should be with someone more mature who will state his point and listen to yours.
2007-01-06 21:47:24 · answer #6 · answered by fabulosity 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you, yourself, care if you cannot trust your partner? By staying with someone who have broken your trust again and again, you are in essence saying that it is ok for him to do, you will still be around. Why should HE care, then? Stay away - unless you are ready for more of the same. Don't compromise your self-respect and integrity. There are more fish in the sea.
2007-01-06 21:52:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope END the madness if you keep going in this viscous cycle it will never end and the relationship will be bobbling along forever.If he doesn't believe he didn't do anything then I so pose he didn't(he believes that)but it's not about what he thinks you were trying to make a point and it seems like he ain't got it yet..THINK ABOUT IT life is to short to keep going around and around in circles.
2007-01-06 21:46:58 · answer #8 · answered by gblue52 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay away,if you can't trust him and he doesn't care that you are having difficulties trusting him,then you don't want that in a husband. You want a husband that actually cares about your feelings.
2007-01-06 21:42:48 · answer #9 · answered by lily_shaine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he is insensitive to the things that u need to feel safe and trust him again, and just doesn't want to talk about it, than nothing is ever going to get resolved at all. if u feel he cheated or almost cheated, and he refuses to own it, or acknowledge he caused u hurt, than maybe its best to split with him, as he just doesn't try to even see your side or meet u half way.
2007-01-06 22:03:58 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋