my husband opened a my space account for work(i was with him when he did it) a week after he did this i went into his account to add some pics(my husband did not know i was going to do this).thats when i noticed "sue" a old gf sent my husband a private msg like 2 days after he signed up. it said "i know you well,very well".he then responded with just a hi how are and joking with her.they went back and forth till i called my husband on it only 2 days later.he played it off as no big deal which really nothing bad was said between them.i should have waited and just watched how things played out.what concerns me are a few things how come he did not tell me he was chatting with his ex.how come he deleted his whole account like 5 mins after i told him i saw his mgs.i may be overreacting but this is the same gf that he left his first wife for 8yrs ago.i went to sue's my space page and she is local and single.
2007-01-06 13:30:24 · 20 answers · asked by marykay897678 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If he left his first wife for another woman, it will probably happen again. You will have to learn to trust him and accept things the way they are or move on with your life.
2007-01-06 13:34:04 · answer #1 · answered by tootsie1115 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a seriously tricky situation. When I was younger (20) I was in a few similar situations, back when AOL was a haven for cheaters, but took it into my own hands. I either virtually seduced the girl away from my husband then suddenly disappeared, or I would create a very similar email address of the girl and contacted my husband to "test" him that way. You could always create your own myspace as a male and figure out what this girl is about, but it'll take some time. You could have also created a myspace account and contacted your husband as a "new friend" and gotten to know him that way to see if he can wander just for wandering sake... all roads will lead you to the same place - The Insecurity Roundabout. It's not going to make you happy to do those things. It might make things clearer for you, but it most certainly will be a painful process, because you'll be lying to your husband - which is crime just the same.
The bottom line is: You can spend your time wondering about something, or you can just ask.
Keep in mind not to OVER ask, because that'll get you nowhere. Be very specific with your reasons behind asking. You have to have actually SEEN something in order to ask about it... ie:change in behavior, the panties stuffed under the driver's seat.. the passengers seat position different... you get the idea. Asking because you have a "feeling" is a waste of time and puts dents in the marriage each time you do.
I stopped acting a fool about other women once I realized I'm a pretty fine catch for my husband and I keep it that way on a daily basis. We got married young, and have been married for 7 years and there's no cheating from him for sure. If a girl comes into the picture I just make sure I'm more appealing than she will ever be. Like many a-freaky songs will say, "Put it on him!" Concentrate on him, yourself, and your family on a daily basis - MAKE IT REALLY APPEALING... so even if this trick is tryin' whatever she won't have a chance and even if his mind does wander to her he WILL feel like crap for it, either way you'll have won and will be the better person. All of it without lies or games. If you don't already know, Karma is a wench.
I wish you the BEST in this.
2007-01-07 02:41:03 · answer #2 · answered by TVSPBT 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered asking your husband these questions since he is the only one who can answer them? If he left one wife for someone else I get why you are concerned but maybe he wasn't trying to hide it, he just didn't think it was a big deal. Now that he knows it bothers you it seems he has stopped so you can't really ask for much more than that. Keep the lines of communications open and don't let jealousy cloud your better judgement. Follow your gut feelings and things will be fine.
2007-01-06 21:47:10 · answer #3 · answered by noddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eww! I've had a similar experience!! What a bad feeling!
In the end all that you can do is (I hate to hear this when people tell me, but..) trust your man until the time you have solid evidence that he's been unfaithful to you (which hopefully will NEVER happen, and most likely won't!).
Try not to tighten the reigns on him immediately either, as he will feel it, and may feel restricted. Don't give him a reason to run!
Trust, trust.. keep things between you and him good, and don't give her a chance to be the 'better' one (nicer, friendlier -- easier to be with)..
~Best of luck, I'm rooting for you!~
2007-01-06 21:37:51 · answer #4 · answered by seaofcolour 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about it until you start noticing some changes in him. Like a change in his routine. Is he starting to go out more by himself? Is he making excuses to go out for things that you normally take care of? Is there a change in his spending habits? Is he on the phone and then all of a sudden hangs up when you walk in the room? Changing the way he dresses, his hair style? These are some of the things you can watch for to see if maybe he is sneaking around with her.
Maybe he deleted the acct because he didn't want his ex to cause any problems between you and him?
He probably didn't tell you he was chatting with her because it was no big deal to him. He also figured you would probably react exactly like you did. With confrontation.
My husband chats with all kinds of women on messenger but I don't worry about it cuz I know where he is every night and that is in my bed. He doesn't go out to the clubs or bars by himself, he very seldom even will go to the grocery store by himself. He goes to school, comes home, plays on the computer or chats, eats dinner and goes to bed. Now...if that routine were to change, then I would start worrying about who he was chatting with and where in the heck he was going and with whom.
2007-01-06 21:42:51 · answer #5 · answered by suzyq 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honest and open communication.
Talk to him about it. Tell him that you feel you may have over reacted but his silence about it concerned you.
You are married and have a life time to work on things......You should ask him because all we can do is tell you what we think, not what is and most likely the same thoughts you have someone else will have too but it does not make it fact.Ask him.
I email and messenger with two guys a lot. My husband has come to know them and he tells me to tell them hi whenever i am on with them and he is around. It is okay to have friends of the opposite sex when you are married or dating etc....It is healthy.
My husband and I have a wonderful relationship and the thing that makes it so is our honesty towards each other and open communication.......................Good luck................Sound harmless to me but I do not know your husband or you or what your realationship is like.
2007-01-06 21:38:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you honestly tell your man if you were chatting with your ex? I dont think so. I think it was a good thing he deleted his profile. That shows that he cares for you and wont let anything get between you guys. I think if anything it was curiosity and you have nothing to worry about. Just keep your eyes open just in case though. No worries.
2007-01-06 21:34:00 · answer #7 · answered by joyall57 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first he did not tell you because he was afraid you would wig out.. second he deleted his account to set your mind at ease and because you mean more to him then the stupid profile did. third if he was messing around with the ***** he would have either made a password you did not know or deleted his mail... he was just being nice to her and did not think that much about it weather you found it or not.. he had nothing to hide but sense you wigged out about it he thought it was better to just git rid of the account.. you should beg him for forgiveness and do something really special for him.... you should be very ashamed of yourself for being acting like a *****.....
2007-01-06 21:36:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well they certainly have a history togeather,if he left his first wife for this woman ,he could do it again....You really need to keep an eye on him,since he has already been dishonest with you.I don,t know If you know this but dishonesty is a LIE..withholding information when you know something is also a lie...I would tell him in no uncertain terms that you don,t want him talking to her.He should never even responded to her e-mail...
2007-01-06 21:46:22 · answer #9 · answered by slickcut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to Me like your a little insecure hun,and why would he have wanted to tell you that she contacted him, if hes given his heart to you, theres not a damn thing you can do to make it any better or any worse, and i'm just being honest I'de been a little pissed that you violated somthing so special as "myspace" think what its called? huh? "MYSPACE!"
Ive delt with husband/wife problem my entire life, you really need to ither accept what hes offereing or maybe,move on.
2007-01-06 21:37:01 · answer #10 · answered by rpoker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋