I'm now engaged & he's a WONDERFUL guy but sometimes I think he gets frustrated with me when it comes to sex. When he touches me sometimes I shutter & remember my father ( who abused me) He tries to understand but he can't. I don't want it to ruin our relationship b/c I love him & know he loves me. What should I do?? This happened over 20 years ago. Shouldn't I be over it by now??
2007-01-06 13:19:40 · 8 answers · asked by sniktaw_mik 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
im sorry about what happened. even though it happened 20 years ago you obviously havent let go of it. i think you should see a therapist or any kind of proffesional help, just to help you deal with your feelings. again im sorry.
2007-01-06 13:25:13 · answer #1 · answered by meju 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). That is a psychiatric disorder that can occur following the experience or witnessing of life-threatening events such as military combat, natural disasters, serious accidents or violent personal assaults such as rape. It's treated by psychotherapy (talk therapy) and drug therapy. Although there is no known cure, these are some options that you have to treat your possible problem of PTSD.
If this has been going on for over twenty years, I suggest seeing a professional right away and maybe afterwards your guy will understand just a little bit more. Good luck, Kiddo!
2007-01-06 21:47:06 · answer #2 · answered by smackyoudown2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the severity of the abuse, this will stay with you for a very long time. Many people in your situation may never be able to form a good relationsip. So in that respect you are fortunate. Anyone who really loves you has to be able to understand or try hard to learn to understand that this is part of who you are. In the long run, he has to understand that you are worth it.
Perhaps couple couseling may help.
2007-01-06 21:34:32 · answer #3 · answered by bata4689 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you went through something that is hard to get over.your boyfriend is going to have to be patient with you,im sure he understands why you do this...It probaly was so tramatic that you needed therpy to help you overcome this...When a Father with whom you put all your trust in as a protector commits such a horrible thing,it can damage you for life...If your boy friend cannot really understand and he breaks up with you because of this then he is not the right one for you....
2007-01-06 21:36:43 · answer #4 · answered by slickcut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to see a therapist. Your past will come back to haunt you time and time again unless you, and probably your boyfriend, will have allot of trouble. The issues you have need to be resolved to free your spirit for your mate.
2007-01-06 21:34:16 · answer #5 · answered by deno 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should see a therapist with him. allow him to let how u really feel. abuse is never over.
2007-01-06 21:28:55 · answer #6 · answered by catchup 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was too it was hard to get over it but i did if he loves u he'll understand it , but still yet there is a limit to how long u can push som1! did u get councelling...........
2007-01-06 21:31:04 · answer #7 · answered by doyinn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say you touch him first get comfortable then let him try
2007-01-07 02:41:34 · answer #8 · answered by vanessa c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋