3 months ago I asked my fiancee for time apart. things were moving fast, marriage was coming, and I thought I needed to think alone. She was very upset, but I insisted and didnt see her for a month. I realized how much I loved and I asked her to take me back. At first she was still angry at me and she was dating someone else. She kept dating him for about 1 week. She eventually forgave me and we are engaged again. Recently I found out that she had sex with the other guy the night before she took me back. She says she wanted to experience him, but that she wanted to teach me a lesson and test my love. She also said wanted the guy was very sweet and she wanted to thank him. She told him she would go back to me, so the last night she admits they did it almost all night, three times. We have talked a lot, about how she was hurt, and I have expressed its ok to tell how she enjoyed the sex. we are back in love and my heart knows that, but I cannot stop my head from being jealous. advice
2007-01-06 13:14:50 · 6 answers · asked by downtokissit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Put off your marriage until you can work out this issue. What's done is done, and you can't keep on being resentful, it's just not healthy. The whole "time alone" BS was a pretty low-blow thing on your part, I don't blame her for being angry, and getting even with you. Sounds like she made a good use of the "time alone" that was imposed on her, and you have to get over it. If you don't, it will destroy your relationship eventually. I don't know if counseling would be something you'd consider, perhaps it's worth a shot.
2007-01-06 13:23:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how much you want to marry someone, rushing the person isn't cool. I think she was wrong, in the first place, for not backing off gracefully, and giving you a little space to think things through.
As for her having sex with someone else, I guess that's her right, but I would be concerned about her motivation. She wanted to teach you a lesson?
After you are married, she may decide to teach you another lesson, because she doesn't feel like you're spending enough time with her, or because she doesn't like the way you looked at another woman, or you had an argument about the finances.
The bottom line is, she thinks having sex with someone else is a legitimate way of getting back at you, anytime she is unhappy about something. I think you're asking for trouble, if you go through with this marriage.
2007-01-06 13:48:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to be jealous--but you also gave up your right to influence her sex life when YOU decided to take a break. It's your issue for breaking up with her.
I think she should not have been messing around with other guys while still planning on getting back together with you--but you should not have broken up with her if you weren't really ready for a real break.
2007-01-06 13:23:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you sure you guys should be getting married?
if she is doing this now - i feel for you when you guys get married ****red flag****
2007-01-06 13:17:16 · answer #4 · answered by gabby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what would be the point>
2007-01-06 13:40:22 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She seems like a skank! "She said he was sweet and wanted to thank him" WTF?? Sounds like you messed up on leaving her and that your a wuss!
2007-01-06 13:23:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋